How Do I Deal With My Boyfriend Being In Jail?

Me and my ex broke up a few months ago and we were planning on getting back together about 2 weeks ago. I hadn't seen him since we broke up and before I could see him, he ended up going to jail. He missed some days of his community services so he is going to be locked up for 3 months. I know that's not a long time compare to other girls' boyfriends who are going to be in jail for years. But I have never known anybody who was in jail before and I'm not really sure how to deal with it. The first time I went to see him, I went with his mom and when I saw him at that window, I ran to him and I was trying to talk but I just started crying. Seeing him for the first time in months, in those jail clothes behind a glass. I finally went to see him on Saturday but his visits are only 15 mins long! I take the bus 40 mins downtown just to see him for 15 mins. He tries to call me but Sprint doesn't allow collect calls. I miss him soooo much. I've written him 3 letters but I have yet to send him. I don't know why. I feel like him being in a jail is a test of my love for him. Because I was extremely "iffy" about getting back together with him. But missing him like this proves that I still love him. He's been in jail, like 2-3 weeks and he won't get out til January (if he doesn't get a work detail or whatever it is). How do I deal with this?
depresseddanii depresseddanii
18 Responses Nov 14, 2010

Me and my boyfriend been together almost a year now and hes been in jail for a few months... somedays i feel like its so hard to cope with, other days i stay positive. Thats my best advice with this situation. Everything happens for a reason. I do have my days where i break down, its so hard for me because i miss him so much. And he wants to change now so badly but in order for that to be 100% proven he needs to be home to show ppl that he could do it. Believe it or not its a good thing that he got this experience because he needed a reality check! Hes such a sweet heart and he has a really amazing heart and amazing mind but he just made mistakes and did dumb things that got him into trouble but now hes willing to change. Moral of the story is, Girls, or Guys, if your boyfriend or girlfriend is not willing to change for the better and not willing to make sure that they wont end up back in there then kick them to the curve! Theres no need to be putting you through emotional stress for someone whos not willing to try and change for the better and change their lives! I know its hard because you love them so much but believe me its not worth all the pain. Now if they are willing to change then please be paitient. I know its hard but trust me its all going to be worth it! Now how do you know if they are serious about changing? By the look in their eyes and if you noticed a change in them. I can tell by the look in my boyfriends eyes that hes willing to change and i notice something different about him. Hes my mushball! I love him so much. And i can tell by the way he looks at me and treats me that he loves me too. Its a beautiful thing when you stick by their side all that time. Its because i believe in him! I believe that he has changed for the better. I pray i pray for him to be home soon. #1 rule, keep God in your situation. By doing that it will only get better. If its worth it, and you will know if it is, then wait for him. 9 times out of ten (depending on the type of person he is) he will apreciate it and treat you like a queen when he comes home. My boyfriend really apreciates me. Im so happy about that. I thank God everyday for him, believe it or not he is an amazing blessing in my life, i wouldnt change it for anything. Everyone has different takes on a situation like this, judge me if you want! I dont care. This is just something im dealing with in the time being. But i'll all be worth it... So im not worried.

Hi! My boyfriend is currently in jail for an unknown amount of time. Your lucky you have a get out of jail date set. We've been together for almost five years. I understand how difficult it is but just be patient. If you guys are ment to be then it will be. Just remember him seeing you for fifteen minutes a day is the highlight of hid day. I send my boyfriend 20 dollars a week so he can get better food and stuff. Overall just be there for him if he's as important to you as my boyfriend is to me. Bestof lluck!!

I need someone to talk to when I feel like breaking down and I have no friends really cause this towns so crappy it's better to talk to no one. Is anyone still going through this because I'm bout to go crazy w no one w good advice to talk to

My fiancee is currently in jail, but looking at going to prison for close to 5 years and I'm having a very hard time dealing with it because I was there the night he got arrested and we had made so many plans that are now on hold. I miss him so much, but I know that I have to stay strong even thought that's hard to do at times. I break down all the time especially since there are kids involved in this. I'm willing to wait for him because I love him beyond words.

I need someone to talk to when I feel like breaking down and I have no friends really cause this towns so ****** it's better to talk to no one are u still going thru this

If he's sentenced for. Five. Years.then he'll be up for parole in about one year and eight months (1/3 of his sentence)If denied he will be defend out in. Three years and four months (2/3 of his sentence). Unless he was sentenced to prison without parole. For more info you can always Google parole . Hope this helps!

I am experiencing the same thing 😓😔 I miss him so so much I wake up early hours of the morning sweating for him I have never experienced pain like this, as much as I cry no one can bring him back to me, it's so hard! 😞 your not alone!

My boyfriend is runnin right now n everydays a heartache cause I don't want to get that phonecall. We were going to start a family and make everything ok between us again and I haven't quit crying since he told me.. now I've been through this before but rhis is completely different n I don't wanna go on without him.. wht shld I do??

My boyfriend just recently got locked up he had a previous offense n was out on bail but now he caught another charge and is looking at 5 to 10 years. I try to keep my head up and keep my mind busy but everytime im just sitting down i start thinking of him n i just break down i don't no what else i can do i just want him back

my boyfriend Is Doing A Year And Since im a minor all i do Is Send letters and receive Phone calls . and i have no support.

Mines gone for 6 months he's been gone 3 months all we can do is right letters no visits no calls its really hard u just have to stay positive and do things for yourself and if not for u then for him me and mine are moving into feather when he gets out so I'm working a ton to save up and I'm kicking *** in school so that I can get a better job. Just do what u need to do to get threw the day ... And when ur feeling down don't stay down pick ur self up and go do something wild and crazy !!!! It's the only way u can make it threw without completely loosing it good luck !!!

i had a boydriend for a week now and hes in jail now i feel so sad

My boyfriend has just gone to prison till his court date in July we've not been together long but not spent a day apart I am quite lucky seen him twice in the last week n spoke loads he's been in prison loads of times before but he wants to change now n not go back in his past has drove him to prison n his metal state isnt to good n hopefully the judge takes that in mind and let him off I'm hoping, he went in Sunday n I've been constantly crying n writing to him but I've turnt to drink because I can't sleep he rings me every morning crying because he misses me n it's so hard I'm not coping to well I sit in my room everyday waiting to here from him it's horrible I have noone to talk to but his family are there for me but I just want him back I hate this x

So my boyfriend got arrested last night (6.14.12) & since I've found out I've been devastated :( I dont know how to handle this at all.. We've been together since June 28th, 2008 and it hurts even more that our 4 year anniversary is right around the corner. I mean, this whole thing was a long time coming.. This wasn't like a surprise or anything but regardless, it still hurts like f***! Me and my boyfriend didn't have the best relationship but we've recently been trying to fix things and lately he's been amazing. <br />
I made it to a booth visit at 1am last night & I swear I've never actually felt my heart break until he stepped into that small room behind the glass.. Not being able to make any physical contact literally killed me. & the goodbye is when I seriously break down. We have no idea how long hes looking at, and that makes things 10xs harder. What do I do?? I'm super depressed & just want my baby back :'( <br />
<br />

Hunny it's so hard ain't it I mean you have it worst as I sit at a table with my bf n I can cuddle n kiss him, but I understand what ur going through its so horrible what's he in for xx

yeaah im going thrue the same thing kinda.. i jus write letters everyother day or week..and jus spill my feelings to him on a simple piece of paper..and i write about how much pain im going thrue and all.. it kinda helps..relaxes me a lil..or i go out wit friends....but im not allowed out soo much soo i understand you..i jus sit there and think so much jus missing him and all... when he gets out and when i see him im giving him all the letters... maybe he might even realize what an impact he has on me(in youur case "you")..and hopefully he'll change....
but you say you guys knew this was coming.? you'll be back in his arms soon &lt;3
if only i could say the same for me/:

OK I also need advice on this subject. My Fiance just went to jail last Thursday and he is going to be in there for at least 10 months. I have never been through this myself before either... I don't know what to do, we do talk on the phone but that is getting really expensive. How do I deal with this? Ever since we have been together, we have never been apart for more then a day. How do I cope with this? He has been in jail before but he said he has never been like he is now in there.... Missing me and everything. What do I do? I need advice please.

hi me and my boyfriend have been together over a year and he got sent to jail on the 27th november 2011 he got 2years4months when i got told how long he got i dropped to the floor in tears,and im nearly 5 months pregnant with his frist baby, i find it very hard t cope but you just gotta thing about all the good time and stay possitve about your future when your partners are out,i have a 3 year old son aswell so i have to stay stong for him, i travel for an hour and half to visit my bf for 1 hour but when your there you feel so much better, the only advice i can give you is to keep strong hold your head high and get on with your life, i write a diary of my future with my bf it help sometime xxx

Ok i need advice my boyfriend just went to jail for probation violation and this is the first time i've ever had to deal with this he's been able to call me once, do u know if he gets phone calls often or an easy for me to try to deal with this?

i am currently locked up and out on a furlow. have 27 days left. it is hard and i miss my family but i know its my fault. coles county jail is horrible. compared to the other stories mine is not so bad but it still hard on the family.

im in the same situation also, ive been with my boyfriend 2 and a half years now, and only wednesday he had his final court date, he missed his probation many times, and wripped a few tags of and breached his tag the day before court... and wednesday he got sentanced to 124 days, i know thats not long but it seems like its going to be a life time, he will probably do half of that, and he has worked it out that he should be out on the 18th of august, but im missing him so much, and its not easy' ... im going to see him saturday for the first time, expect i get an hours visit' wil beand ive just found out on thursday that im pregnant and need to tell him saturday;' i know he will be over the moon, but sad that he cant be there for the first scans or anything, ive only had 3 phone calls of him since he has been in there and they have only lasted 30 seconds max. becuase he didnt have money when he went in there, he told me to be patient. and yes it is hard, but you have got to stay strong, and just live life as you would when he was here, its the best way' dont sit in your room thinking things over, it will just make time drag, soon enough they will be back with us<3

Same situation. The only difference is me and my boyfriend have been together and talking every single day for the past 3 years & literally 11 months. He's probably going to spend our 4th year anniversary behind bars. And like you, I only get to see him Saturdays for 15 mins. The first time I talked to him, he just told me to be strong. And that's all you can do. You can be happy and be yourself like you've been doing while holding it down for him until he gets free. Just remember, the world didn't stop over him going to jail and neither is your life. Keep going, sweetie. It's not going to be easy, but if you spend everyday crying and fretting over it, the time he has to be in jail is going to go by that much slower. Good luck & hang in there. And just know, there are lots of girls going through the same thing and you're not alone with this. <3

Its not easy im new at this whole situation too. ust remeber to stay strong for both of you i havent figured out how to deal with this yet so i cant give you much advice

no it is not easy my grandsons girlfriend lived with us when he was in jail some days went by realy slow and other went fast when you are able to talk to them it makes you feel a lot better your calls from the jail have to be pre paid and 50 dollars only get you 6 phone calls dpends on where you live they can call all they want but a lot of people just do not have that kind of money but you all hang in there and try to stay strong for each other this site is great fo this.