Boyfriend In Jail

My boyfriend has been in jail for three weeks already it may not seem like a long time compared to a year and I would thought I would have got used to the fact he's gonna be in there for a while and I'll be strong enough to keep on with my life without him. However, things turned out different. I've gone visit him four times already and those have been the best days of my week, at home and school everything seems boring. I've been experiencing signs of depression since am losing interest in many of my daily activities. I'm the type of girl who'd love to go out and party, dance, drink, do good in school, go to the movies, you know, just have a good time...but things have turned different now. I find no interest in any of those things anymore and all I want to do lately is be home and wait for the next visit day to come where I could go see him even if its for just one hour. That hour means so much to me being able to look into his eyes tell him I miss him and I love him and hold hands, feel his lips against mine, see his smile and hear him laugh. I can't help crying every time I remember all the good moments we have. We've gone through so much, I see couples walking down the streets holding hands, and when I see two people kiss...I get this unexplainable feeling and I remember when I had that with him out here in the world. It all happened so quick and unexpected I know hes in there paying for something he did wrong...But it hurts and I just hope he comes out soon. Am trying my best to keep my head up and stay strong for him but it seems everyday that goes by my efforts decrease and I become weaker. Its not the same him being in there I only get to see him 2 times a week for just ONE HOUR. Thats nothing compared to the times we'd be iming each other online the whole day (on sidekicks) Or the moments we spend out exploring the world together. We've had our share of arguments but managed to work them out. He can't be there for me as how he was before because now...When am feeling down or going through a problem I have no one to go to...I became so attached to him I got myself separated from many people and lost many close friends...He became my only close friend but I dont regret doing that because he never left me alone and was there for me sometimes till 5 in the morning trying to make me feel better. lonely. When no ones around I cry, I wonder if he'll lose interest in me...get tired of me but feel like he has no other choice than to stick with me...Do you guys think this will happen? I feel theres other girls out here better for him...I mean theres no girls in jail so obviously he wont find interest in no guys...But I just feel he might get tired of me or am not good enough for him and I don't know...I think its worth waiting for him a year or maybe two...

Does someone have any ideas on how to deal with my depression problem?
Do you guys think he'll lose interest in me?
Is it worth waiting for him for one year?
I have so many questions unanswered.
My mind doesn't function as well lately...-_-
Any advices, ideas, comments?
MiszOreo MiszOreo 16-18 295 Responses Jan 24, 2008

Your Response


I'm going through the same thing right now, I feel the exact same way, I'm not even allowed to visit my boyfriend because we're both under 18 and its the worst feeling. I have no friends to be there for me anymore, and I always feel so lonely, but i promised I'd wait for him so hopefully I make it through

My son's father has been away for two weeks and it feels like a years. I have terrible anxiety as if I was the one locked up and I can't stop crying. Stress is effecting my health now. Any advice

My boyfriend has been in jail for 6 months and the day came which they sentenced him to 10 years in state prison I feel so sad I just want to go to sleep and wake up in 10 years when he is free I feel so sad I want to give up I don't want to go to school or nothing I have the support of my parents I am just 19 years old and I hate that my boyfriend has to go through that

I feel the same way but I promised him forever so I'm sticking with my promise but I sit on the couch all day and just cry my eyes out I wish I could talk to someone who is going thu the samething

Same here having your other half ripped away from you is the worst feeling in the world. Its been a month how can i possibly survive 4 more :(

I know how you feel, I want to be with my man for a long time. And his currently in jail right now, he only has 2 weeks left but he has to go to another county because he also has another warrent there so he might be in jail again for another month. It's tough but all I do is pray for him cry every night and see him on visiting hours as much as I can.

Hey i just joined am here reading all the post trying to find someone who might understand what am also going though. Am i can totally relate to you.

My bf have been sentenced to 5 yr in prison in the uk. Lucky there time is served as half the sentenance.

I almost a month now and i haven't heard a word from him i have sent numerous of msg with is brother and son but he haven't sent any msg with them for me.

The problem is we dont live in the same country and it very different for me to visit. I love him dearly. I have cried so many times. The distance and not hearing from me is killing me.

I am feeling the same way. Mine just got 2-4 yesturday. He only just went upstairs where he cant make free calls n my car went down the same day he went to court. I have an autistic son who only can communicate with him. I have no one n

Hi I know what you're going through but you have to stay busy otherwise it will bring you down you also got to read your Bible and pray to the Father above some things can only be changed by prayer and fasting but you got to believe and expect God to move as long as you are sincere and whole hearted to Him.I know it's not easy caz I'm going through it too n I FM's know when he will be home.

I wish I knew what to do to, Hell it's been 4 days and I'm completely falling apart. It was I woke up and he had been arrested while out. Its so unbearable to sleep in our empty bed, to not have my other half. To feel my life falling apart because even in a room full of people I'm so alone without him. I don't know when he is getting out and I don't know how to go on without the only person who's taken my depression from my mother hemorrhaging to death in my lap 2 years ago away. I just don't know what to do.

What I have been doing, is making myself busy. It seems when i hang out with other people it just makes me feel worse. So im alone alot, but i try to read books, paint, take walks. It's almost been 2 months for me, and trust me it gets easier. It still hard as hell but it does get easier. It's also good to know other girls are going through the same thing. I know exactly how you feel. On top of that i jumped a fence and i ripped my palms off..had to get surgery. All with him being in there. Theres so much going on right now. You will be okay, try to think positive. Before i wasnt eating, couldnt move. I looked so sick, it took a physical toll. But im alot better now. I hope your boyfriend gets out soon, take care <3

My boyfriend has been in jail for about a month now, my lawyer says i can't even talk, visit, or write him. They are trying to charge him for something huge and hes innocent. I used to spend every waking moment with him, we are eachothers first love. We could finish eachothers sentences, laugh like crazy, talk for hours etc. Hes the love of my life, and im his. It's been so damn hard without him. The depression is killing me. I can't even cry anymore, i just stare off into the distance. That's the worst. Im a walking wreck, and i can't even let it out. He's all i think about, and nobody wants to hear it. Especially guys. I feel so alone, and he's really torn apart too. The only thing i can do is talk to his mom everyday and she tells me what he says. The pain is insane, i have never hit rock bottom like this before. It's like i can't enjoy anything anymore, im just this dead person who doesnt want to talk or have fun. Waking up is the hardest part, because i wonder if it was all i dream then i realize it was not. Now im finally crying writing this, but it is comforting to know that other women are going through the exact same thing. I just want a hug or to cry in someones arms. I miss him so much, i know when he get's out nothing will change. I'll hold it down for him, and he is waiting on me. Just the waiting is hard, it's like you can't live life anymore. Watching couples on the street...damn. Just remember everything does happen for a reason, god has a plan. No matter how ****** up it is, we will get our man back. Once he comes back we wont let him go. I know i wont...this sucks so much. Im always thinking "why us?" but it just happened. Stay strong, after reading all of your experiences, makes me feel better. We are not alone, I'll try to remember that everyday.

Hi I'm new here. Why can you talk to him.

Because when they arrested him they found cocaine and ****, a week later they charged me with it because i wouldnt talk to an investigator. wasnt even mine such bullshit. but apparently it would look bad if im still involved and all that, what my lawyer told me. but idc anymore i visit, talk and write to him constantly now.

I can truly relate. Sigh. Its really hard. We were planning on starting our family, getting married we were so happy and one day everything was ripped from my hands. He got 5 yrs 2.5 uk time. But we live in different countries and i cant even visit. Its killing me. Its a month now and i haven't heard a single word from him. Dont knw wat to do. Depressed

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If he's worth it the time apart with him will just make it insane when he's home my boyfriend and I started datin in jail he made me smile when I was In bad shape he gets lock down and sends someone to. Call and say good night ... I worry that maybe he just wanted to split me and my ex up but he's giving me strength hope and happiness I only got to visit once It was the best. 20 mins of my life since I saw him my release date may 16 keep ur chin up if it's meant to be he will be ravishing you when you come home and they can't see the girls in most jails unless it's court lol keep strong girl

My bf is n jail he's been back and forth since we known each other there's days I feel depressed lonely I'll separate myself from my friends I jus don't wanna be bother wit anyone it's hard on us we gotta stay string for them n show them we still love and care for them jus stay strong ma everything gonna be good

Hi, my boyfriend has been in jail before for only about a month and nothing in our relationship changed when he came home. He just got sentenced on Monday, and he has 160 days, which is 5 months. I can't write to him, visit him, or call him while he is there. It's so hard and i don't know what I'm going to do without him. But I don't think that he'd ever lose interest in me because we are so in love. And if you believe that your boyfriend is the one for you, don't give up hope. I honestly don't think that yours would lose any interest in you at all either. Write, call, and visit him as much as you can if you're able to! Keep your head up and just know that you will get through this, because everything passes. His time will be served and will be back home before you know it. Keeping you& anyone else with incarcerated other halves, in my prayers!

Why is it that u cant call etc? My bf have been sentenced 5 yrs. Its a month now since the sentence and i haven't heard a word from him. U have any idea why based on wat ur experiencing now. My bf and i dont live in the same country

My bf not long been out of jail about 8months I Wud say but last night he was took from me again! I went court this morning and found out he's going jail again!! I watched him get put in the big police van and the last thing he said was be there for me!! When he first went to jail I cudnt speak to him see him or get any letters from him! I was a mess when it came to 3days befor he was gonna be let out I get a phone call!! It was the best day of my life!! All I can say is don't give up on r bad boys!! We think the worst but we ain't got a clue how there feeling!! Wish you the best and remember it's not just about how ur feeling and thinking it's them inside to! To the ppl who go see there bf in jail ur so lucky I'm hoping this time we can talk, send letters and I can go see him!! And to all you that don't no you can now email ur lovers in jail!! Go google and type in email a prisoner :) it's amazing take care all and don't give up :)

I know how you feel , it's a really difficult situation for anyone to have to deal with , I've been with my partner for 3 years and he's been in custody for the past 6 nearly 7 months the trial was supposed to start in May and now has been adjourned to January so that's 14 months he will be in prison before the trial starts , I get to see him once a month for an hour as he is on basic, the most difficult part is when you see other people and you tend to remember all the memories you have with your loved one and wish that they were with you , if you love him then stand by him , being in there they need the support they can get and not many people choose or can stand by someone when they're in prison and I'm sure he will appreciate you being by his side, he doesn't get to call often as he's on basic but usually contacts his sister most of the time and I have to rely on her to find out how he is , it's really difficult with the limited amount of communication and I do feel alone and feel like I'm not able to talk to anyone who feels how I'm feeling as when I speak to his sister it comes across as my feelings being disregarded but I don't think people understand how difficult it is when your partner is inside esp when they mean the world to you , I've found that keeping my mind preoccupied helps a lot I try to keep myself as busy as I can to avoid having too much free time because I know if I don't I will be thinking about everything and it will only make it worse

My partner and i hace been together 10 months and in 3 weeks he goes to court for breaching his suspended sentence and he will proberyl go to jail for 14months. we love each other so much and im proberly pregnant bt to scared to take the test knwing i could be losing the love of my life for 14 months. im a very emotional person who grew up surrounded by abuse and has lived on my own since i was 18 but i dont know what i would do with out my boyfriend he has been my rock though out my toughest times and i feel i will lose my head when he goes to jail. He is a great person and is only going to jail for driving with no license. i dont no how to deal with it and feel that when he comes out our lives would have grown so far apart that it wont matter how much we love each other. ive cried my self to sleep for the past week knowing that i only have 3 weeks left, i cant eat cant sleep cant do any. i feel as if ive lost my heart

my fiance has been in jail since april 26th he got 30 days bit i know how you feel depressed not bein able to eat it sucks but its more hard for me cuz we have a son together but how can i make the days go by faster

Hi, my boyfriends been locked up for 2 weeks and his sentencing is in 2 weeks. hes either going to get his year (cuz he was on probation) , get released, and put on more probation, or house arrest...we have no idea, he is saying its 50/50 right now about whether or not he will get out. i guess it depends on the judge and his p.o. Ive been doinng everything i can. writing letters all the time and sending them out at least3 times a week. i put money on his canteen every week. im the only one helping him out with that stuff, but i put enough on so that we can talk at least once, sometimes twice a day for a half hour at a time. I am at every visit, im the only one signed up to visit him, twice a week for 45 minutes ( behind glass cuz he hasn't been sentenced yet) I too am feeling really depressed and trying to do things to get my mind off of it. but nothing seems to make me feel happy like that. we are both really nervous about court in a couple weeks and whatts going to happen Please if anyone has advice or just wants to talk let me know how your dealing

Hi I know this may seem easy to say but you got to look at the other side of the coin which is more positive or look at it with the glass half full caz I'm going through my man been in prison 3 years and has a lot more to do his appeals keep being denied and I dn't know when he will ever be home to me and it's starting to ware him down and break him that I feel like he is slowly drifting away from me caz he is juz seeing the negative around him every time a lil bright light tries to shine through. But pray, read your Bible and talk to the farther above but most of all enjoy the times you all are together ,cherish them and remember them but know that the time apart won't be forever unlike some other people. I feel your pain and know what you are going through.

My man has also been in jail for three weeks. At first it was very hard and I barley ate or slept but then I finally got to hear his voice again. We talk to each other everyday which makes things much easier. I also will get to see him once or twice a month. We have no idea what kind of time he may be looking at but hope to know in two to three weeks. To help me keep my mind off of it I go to any outing with my friends or family that I am invited to. It helps to stay busy.

If you really love him fight for him my boyfriend has been locked up for 3 years and I'm still here for him if you love him fight for you shouldn't care what other people think. Trust me he won't lose interest in you as long as you keep in contact with him through letters and visits. I have no support from my family but still I don't care. Keep yourself occupied go out with friends keep yourself occupied so you're not thinking about it all the time.

I don't care what people have to say I will stick by my bf through this time. I just don't know how I will do it. It has only been 1 week and today I have been a mess. You have done it for 3 years any advice?

my boyfriend is also in jail he recently got locked up around 3 weeks ago , youre lucky you get to see him . his visits are only for parents so i cant go , i feel so sad & depressed i really miss him he calls me atleast 3 times a week for about 5 to 10 minutes and he writes to me often , things happen for a reason everything will get better eventually . hes sentenced to a year to 5 years depending on the judge . im going to wait for him because i love him and i know he would also wait for me . its hard to go through this because you get really lonely however were not alone many women like myself have a boyfriend who is locked up but when they get released you'll feel more inlove because you will see how it feels to be without him , keep your head up as i am myself <3

I know how you feel,my fiance got sentenced on 4th April,just before my birthday. He's got 14 months may get parol in July though. I feel so lost. So broken. I have no family. He is my family. Im alone and I find out tomorrow if I'm even allowed too see him. It breaks my heart knowing he's in that place and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't sleep. I struggle to eat. I've only had one phone call since he's been gone. The letters help and I surround myself with his things. But nothing at all can make that lonely feeling go away. Can't wait too have him home :(( guess we've just got too stay strong. Because I know that he's already changing and hell be a better man when he comes out. The drugs will be gone and hell be clean. We can start our family. Just breaks my heart that there's nothing I can do but sit and wait :'(

To an exact T, this made me cry no one around me understands how I feels. To them it's like nothing happened:( I feel dead, I'm not interested in anything anymore. I don't have it in me to socialize or keep up a conversation with anyone. I feel broke:'( he left cuz we got in a fight, he got arrested right after I said some hurtful things to him. he might be in 4 months to 2 yrs! Whoever I talk to about it says dont wait around, or go out and have some fun he'll understand! Or some of his so call freinds have made advances his freinds on me! I'm so afraid that someone will start a rumor im sleeping around on him! so I wont talk to anyone I cant handle the negative feedback it gets me depressed! everything reminds me of him i hurt so bad! I feel like im the one being punished... I had a break down when I pulled out a lighter he gave me to hold on to, I had to have someone get rid of it. I'm gonna be here for him no matter what even with people trying to stuff my head with doubts that he was a man-***** and he will never settle for me and tons more but they arent gonna break me im here for him not matter what! But I need some support to... I have never read something that expessed so throughly I needed this I needed to remember im not alone advice anyone talk to me

My boyfriend is in jail as well and has been for about 15 months, youre lucky because you can see him. My boyfriend is in another province in their correction center and it sucks, I write him alot and he calls me once a week. Yes, im commited to him, no I havent cheated. Make new friends :) connect with other girls who are in the same situation. I miss him alot but you have to continue to live your life because he will be out soon.

My partner is in jail too and we have a child together and we've been together for five years. The transition and impact it caused made it difficult for me to move on. He was sentenced a week before xmas. So when the festive season came around it was painful. So it took me a month to realise.. He is in for while why should I waste anymore time being depressed and as devastating as it is theres nothing that we can do to change whats happened. You have lost a great part of you and its normal for us to grieve but in time you will overcome the fear of being lonely.
I saw him once a week for an hour too, writing letters is very effective.  I get so excited when I recieve his letters. I suggest not to write anything that will get him or yourself upset. You want to keep your letters positive and something to look forward to. Is he allowed to make phone calls? My partner is able to make a few calls during the day just as long as there's enough funds. So maybe you can you help him with funds so he can call regularly.
My partner soon was transferred and now 2 and a half hours away. So incase if your bf does transfer in the future I want you to know that you are not alone.
Fortunately I have a lot of family friends who have been very supoortive and taking every step of the way with me.
I strongly reccomend that you keep your days busy dont give up on looking after yourself. I have made time for friends, I have girly catch ups and now that I have extra time to myself I take that advantage to do what ever makes me feel better about myself. Simplest things like going shopping, listening to music, enjoying long walks. Stay proactive its the key and only way you will get through this!
For me its been a couple of months now, I've become very independent and his letters play a major role to my positivity. I still yearn for my partner even when im happy or not.

I know you love him more than anything just dont forget to love yourself too and don't waste anymore time.

my boyfriend got sentenced to 16 months in prison yesterday...and iv done nothing but cry since. if you believe he is right for you then wait for him but ensure that you protect your soul. write to him and have him write back so that you both have things to read when you feel low or miss each other. im not sure how I am going to cope without my baby. its never going to be an easy thing for any of us who are experiencing this but we have each other for the support we need and require. im here for all of you if you ever want to talk and hopefully someone might be there for me too? <3

I know how it feels :( my boyfriend has been in jail for almost 3 months, and he has about 9 more months left :( I miss him so incredibly much. I think about him all the time and am constantly writing letters. Hopefully things get easier as time passes <3

My bf is also in jail inCheshire ct for burglary 1 hes been in there for almost 20 months already i cant go see him bcuz i have a stupid charge on my revord i put $on phone for jim to call but its craxy expensive and i write him everydsy i LOVE him obviously alot, its hard i really really want him home im depressed and lonely! Idk what to do he got offeted 3 years 7 yr probation in ct there's no good time on violent crimes so he has to do 85% of his time its sad i miss him do ******* muchr

what is he in jail for

she has a right to keep that information private and you shouldn't be asking such a personal question for her!!

cough cough lol

its inappropriate and rather rude tbh. she has the right to her own privacy. if she didn't state the reason why in her post then you shouldn't question

HI, my name is ashlee, my boyfriend is also in prison, and he has been in there over a month and is in for about 2 years, I know where your coming from when you say you're loosing interest in your daily activities and feeling depressed, but one thing I do to try to keep my mind off of the that is I work, and I try to hang out with my friends or I try to talk to someone about how I'm feeling. it is totally natural to cry about this, I cry all the time still, but I try to remember all the fun times we had together and I keep those good things in my mind.

I can't really relate to the woman who's boyfriends have been sentenced & convicted, but mine just recently got charged with armed robbery and we all know that that's a serious charge. I'm 3 months pregnant and scared to death I'm gonna have to raise our child alone. I love him so much and I've already cried a million times in the last 3 days. No phone call, no bail nothing. How do you women cope with this? I'm already falling to pieces

Do you have any support from family or friends?

My man was booked on may 10th so I also am in the early stages of this. He goes to his first court hearing tomorrow. He was arrested for aggravated assault 2&3 against me. Its so hard because I feel responsible even tho he has told me not to. He knows he messed up and takes the blame. I dont know what to expect or what is happening. I call the jail a million times a day for updates and they are so nice about it but its never the answer I want. Its even harder cuz hes 2 states away. We were on vacation when he was arrested. Flying home alone was so hard. Ive cried so much that I dont have tears anymore. Hes looking at possibly a year he says. I can email him for free but he cant email back and I dont have the money right now to put on his books so he cant even get a letter to me. Hes been calling his sister collect and giving her messages. Its so hard. I have to pack our home up and move because I cant afford it on my own. Im so scared and lost and just want the nightmare to end. Im so glad Im not alone in this. I can't believe we are even in this situation

I'm also dealing with depression because my boyfriend/father of my baby. Is in jail & has been even before our daughter was born. She was born June 14th of 2013 he has been locked up since 2 days after my bday April 9th. I've been talking to him & writting letters. I try to visit twice a week but, its hard to actually make it on the list before other ppl. It seems like lately we've been arguing alot. Making it hard for me to wanna talk to him. We've been through so much these last two years I've been questoning myself lately asking myself if I even wanna be with him because when I first found out I was PG he ended up leaving me all the way up until I had her. & maybe a week after I told him I was PG my older sister & him slept together.. I was so heartbroken when I found out I wanted nothing to do w/ either of em' but because he's the father of my daughter I tried making "us" work but now I don't know if I want to keep trying because he always finds a way to bring it up when we talk & I get pissed off & tell him to leave me alone even though I don't want that I was so hurt the 1st time I don't know if I can handle it if it happened again.. I need advice should I keep trying or just try to move on? ? Im so confused I don't know what to do or think anymore this month our daughter will be 7mths old.

i understand completly i have someone who has got half a year to go and il only see him once a month..make sure you send lots of letters recieve his calls aswell your so lucky to see him twice a week like i said a visit to him once a month..what i found to make it feel quicker is i made a calender and each day i cross off it helps me alot knowing its another day closer but i find it easier to feels like us woman are being punished at the same time..whatever you do support him thats mainly what he needs i also have my mother in jail so when i get down i have absolutly nobody close to talk to as there both serving time..all ypu wanna do is lock your door crawl into bed and cry (regular basis thing for me) and about your deppression i suffer with it too along with post traumatic stress disorder and insomnia i went to the doctors and spoke about it and hr helped me out referred me and stuff so if your able to try the doctors out..your going through a tough time and bound to feel down alot but stay strong and be there for him and yourself