Boyfriend In Jail

My boyfriend has been in jail for three weeks already it may not seem like a long time compared to a year and I would thought I would have got used to the fact he's gonna be in there for a while and I'll be strong enough to keep on with my life without him. However, things turned out different. I've gone visit him four times already and those have been the best days of my week, at home and school everything seems boring. I've been experiencing signs of depression since am losing interest in many of my daily activities. I'm the type of girl who'd love to go out and party, dance, drink, do good in school, go to the movies, you know, just have a good time...but things have turned different now. I find no interest in any of those things anymore and all I want to do lately is be home and wait for the next visit day to come where I could go see him even if its for just one hour. That hour means so much to me being able to look into his eyes tell him I miss him and I love him and hold hands, feel his lips against mine, see his smile and hear him laugh. I can't help crying every time I remember all the good moments we have. We've gone through so much, I see couples walking down the streets holding hands, and when I see two people kiss...I get this unexplainable feeling and I remember when I had that with him out here in the world. It all happened so quick and unexpected I know hes in there paying for something he did wrong...But it hurts and I just hope he comes out soon. Am trying my best to keep my head up and stay strong for him but it seems everyday that goes by my efforts decrease and I become weaker. Its not the same him being in there I only get to see him 2 times a week for just ONE HOUR. Thats nothing compared to the times we'd be iming each other online the whole day (on sidekicks) Or the moments we spend out exploring the world together. We've had our share of arguments but managed to work them out. He can't be there for me as how he was before because now...When am feeling down or going through a problem I have no one to go to...I became so attached to him I got myself separated from many people and lost many close friends...He became my only close friend but I dont regret doing that because he never left me alone and was there for me sometimes till 5 in the morning trying to make me feel better. lonely. When no ones around I cry, I wonder if he'll lose interest in me...get tired of me but feel like he has no other choice than to stick with me...Do you guys think this will happen? I feel theres other girls out here better for him...I mean theres no girls in jail so obviously he wont find interest in no guys...But I just feel he might get tired of me or am not good enough for him and I don't know...I think its worth waiting for him a year or maybe two...

Does someone have any ideas on how to deal with my depression problem?
Do you guys think he'll lose interest in me?
Is it worth waiting for him for one year?
I have so many questions unanswered.
My mind doesn't function as well lately...-_-
Any advices, ideas, comments?
MiszOreo MiszOreo 16-18 278 Responses Jan 24, 2008

Your Response


If you really love him fight for him my boyfriend has been locked up for 3 years and I'm still here for him if you love him fight for you shouldn't care what other people think. Trust me he won't lose interest in you as long as you keep in contact with him through letters and visits. I have no support from my family but still I don't care. Keep yourself occupied go out with friends keep yourself occupied so you're not thinking about it all the time.

my boyfriend is also in jail he recently got locked up around 3 weeks ago , youre lucky you get to see him . his visits are only for parents so i cant go , i feel so sad & depressed i really miss him he calls me atleast 3 times a week for about 5 to 10 minutes and he writes to me often , things happen for a reason everything will get better eventually . hes sentenced to a year to 5 years depending on the judge . im going to wait for him because i love him and i know he would also wait for me . its hard to go through this because you get really lonely however were not alone many women like myself have a boyfriend who is locked up but when they get released you'll feel more inlove because you will see how it feels to be without him , keep your head up as i am myself <3

To an exact T, this made me cry no one around me understands how I feels. To them it's like nothing happened:( I feel dead, I'm not interested in anything anymore. I don't have it in me to socialize or keep up a conversation with anyone. I feel broke:'( he left cuz we got in a fight, he got arrested right after I said some hurtful things to him. he might be in 4 months to 2 yrs! Whoever I talk to about it says dont wait around, or go out and have some fun he'll understand! Or some of his so call freinds have made advances his freinds on me! I'm so afraid that someone will start a rumor im sleeping around on him! so I wont talk to anyone I cant handle the negative feedback it gets me depressed! everything reminds me of him i hurt so bad! I feel like im the one being punished... I had a break down when I pulled out a lighter he gave me to hold on to, I had to have someone get rid of it. I'm gonna be here for him no matter what even with people trying to stuff my head with doubts that he was a man-***** and he will never settle for me and tons more but they arent gonna break me im here for him not matter what! But I need some support to... I have never read something that expessed so throughly I needed this I needed to remember im not alone advice anyone talk to me

My boyfriend is in jail as well and has been for about 15 months, youre lucky because you can see him. My boyfriend is in another province in their correction center and it sucks, I write him alot and he calls me once a week. Yes, im commited to him, no I havent cheated. Make new friends :) connect with other girls who are in the same situation. I miss him alot but you have to continue to live your life because he will be out soon.

My partner is in jail too and we have a child together and we've been together for five years. The transition and impact it caused made it difficult for me to move on. He was sentenced a week before xmas. So when the festive season came around it was painful. So it took me a month to realise.. He is in for while why should I waste anymore time being depressed and as devastating as it is theres nothing that we can do to change whats happened. You have lost a great part of you and its normal for us to grieve but in time you will overcome the fear of being lonely.
I saw him once a week for an hour too, writing letters is very effective.  I get so excited when I recieve his letters. I suggest not to write anything that will get him or yourself upset. You want to keep your letters positive and something to look forward to. Is he allowed to make phone calls? My partner is able to make a few calls during the day just as long as there's enough funds. So maybe you can you help him with funds so he can call regularly.
My partner soon was transferred and now 2 and a half hours away. So incase if your bf does transfer in the future I want you to know that you are not alone.
Fortunately I have a lot of family friends who have been very supoortive and taking every step of the way with me.
I strongly reccomend that you keep your days busy dont give up on looking after yourself. I have made time for friends, I have girly catch ups and now that I have extra time to myself I take that advantage to do what ever makes me feel better about myself. Simplest things like going shopping, listening to music, enjoying long walks. Stay proactive its the key and only way you will get through this!
For me its been a couple of months now, I've become very independent and his letters play a major role to my positivity. I still yearn for my partner even when im happy or not.

I know you love him more than anything just dont forget to love yourself too and don't waste anymore time.

my boyfriend got sentenced to 16 months in prison yesterday...and iv done nothing but cry since. if you believe he is right for you then wait for him but ensure that you protect your soul. write to him and have him write back so that you both have things to read when you feel low or miss each other. im not sure how I am going to cope without my baby. its never going to be an easy thing for any of us who are experiencing this but we have each other for the support we need and require. im here for all of you if you ever want to talk and hopefully someone might be there for me too? <3

I know how it feels :( my boyfriend has been in jail for almost 3 months, and he has about 9 more months left :( I miss him so incredibly much. I think about him all the time and am constantly writing letters. Hopefully things get easier as time passes <3

My bf is also in jail inCheshire ct for burglary 1 hes been in there for almost 20 months already i cant go see him bcuz i have a stupid charge on my revord i put $on phone for jim to call but its craxy expensive and i write him everydsy i LOVE him obviously alot, its hard i really really want him home im depressed and lonely! Idk what to do he got offeted 3 years 7 yr probation in ct there's no good time on violent crimes so he has to do 85% of his time its sad i miss him do ******* muchr

what is he in jail for

she has a right to keep that information private and you shouldn't be asking such a personal question for her!!

cough cough lol

its inappropriate and rather rude tbh. she has the right to her own privacy. if she didn't state the reason why in her post then you shouldn't question

HI, my name is ashlee, my boyfriend is also in prison, and he has been in there over a month and is in for about 2 years, I know where your coming from when you say you're loosing interest in your daily activities and feeling depressed, but one thing I do to try to keep my mind off of the that is I work, and I try to hang out with my friends or I try to talk to someone about how I'm feeling. it is totally natural to cry about this, I cry all the time still, but I try to remember all the fun times we had together and I keep those good things in my mind.

I can't really relate to the woman who's boyfriends have been sentenced & convicted, but mine just recently got charged with armed robbery and we all know that that's a serious charge. I'm 3 months pregnant and scared to death I'm gonna have to raise our child alone. I love him so much and I've already cried a million times in the last 3 days. No phone call, no bail nothing. How do you women cope with this? I'm already falling to pieces

Do you have any support from family or friends?

I'm also dealing with depression because my boyfriend/father of my baby. Is in jail & has been even before our daughter was born. She was born June 14th of 2013 he has been locked up since 2 days after my bday April 9th. I've been talking to him & writting letters. I try to visit twice a week but, its hard to actually make it on the list before other ppl. It seems like lately we've been arguing alot. Making it hard for me to wanna talk to him. We've been through so much these last two years I've been questoning myself lately asking myself if I even wanna be with him because when I first found out I was PG he ended up leaving me all the way up until I had her. & maybe a week after I told him I was PG my older sister & him slept together.. I was so heartbroken when I found out I wanted nothing to do w/ either of em' but because he's the father of my daughter I tried making "us" work but now I don't know if I want to keep trying because he always finds a way to bring it up when we talk & I get pissed off & tell him to leave me alone even though I don't want that I was so hurt the 1st time I don't know if I can handle it if it happened again.. I need advice should I keep trying or just try to move on? ? Im so confused I don't know what to do or think anymore this month our daughter will be 7mths old.

i understand completly i have someone who has got half a year to go and il only see him once a month..make sure you send lots of letters recieve his calls aswell your so lucky to see him twice a week like i said a visit to him once a month..what i found to make it feel quicker is i made a calender and each day i cross off it helps me alot knowing its another day closer but i find it easier to feels like us woman are being punished at the same time..whatever you do support him thats mainly what he needs i also have my mother in jail so when i get down i have absolutly nobody close to talk to as there both serving time..all ypu wanna do is lock your door crawl into bed and cry (regular basis thing for me) and about your deppression i suffer with it too along with post traumatic stress disorder and insomnia i went to the doctors and spoke about it and hr helped me out referred me and stuff so if your able to try the doctors out..your going through a tough time and bound to feel down alot but stay strong and be there for him and yourself

my boyfriend has been in jail for two years we got another year and a half to go. he's in the pen and is only 20 ! you think 3 weeks is hard just wait sweetheart it get's harder. the years will go by quick you have to distract yourself not by partying though im in my 20's and i dont drink or any of that. it is very hard for a male to trust while he is locked up... men who are in jail can change there life around if they really want to some though won't my ex he's in jail for stabbing someone in the face my ex before him is in jail for murder but those are the **** that will never change. my man now he will and is changing ! people are going to judge you just be careful ...i do know people who have changed and are actually doing something with there life now . pro's and con's sweetheart

You're 17. You like to party and drink. I'd hate to be the jerk with the reason but, it sounds like you two aren't necessarily much for giving a **** about your future. Partying, drinking and jail time by 18... I know you are surrounded by what you think life is like but, there is way more to it. Go live life. I'd say you will get over it but, absence makes the heart grow fonder. He will likely not even come out the same person he was when he went in. You may not be the same person by the time he gets out. I'm not going to tell you what is going to happen because I do not know but, you have a chance to make it further in life now. He is not weighing you down with his poor decisions and prison record.

I'm in the same situation my broufriend is looking at 4 years because of an argument with his baby momma and now doing this jail time with me it sucks very much and it's a very painful experience and I'm stuck trying to pretend like I'm ok when I'm really depressed inside

This Explains Everything Of How I Feel :/ My fiancee Is Only Doing 8 Months....But Its Only Been A Week.... And Im Missing Him Soo Much No Had A Phone Call Or Letter Yet....Its Like My Worlds Just crashed Down :/

Everything you just stated, I feel the same way, I ask my man so many times but he is more scared I will stray due to him doing 24 years, I envy everyone on this site who their loved ones only are getting 1-6 years in prison or jail. I have never had a bad moment with this man and I am still if not more in love with him as each day goes by. My depressions shows it all, without him I feel dead inside even though I am carrying our child. It's the worst feeling to go through all of this and not feel like you. I get this, I feel this all the time. I try to pick myself up, I try to see friends but they just don't really know what to say and move on quickly from the subject. All I can do is fight for my man in prison and be depressed...well that's how I feel.

24 years how long has it been

Not even a year. Long road ahead...we are fighting the sentencing though right now. First appeal! Keeping fingers crossed!

my man now is waiting for his appeal ... he got sentenced 7 years but is doing 2/3 of his time . it's going to be a long road . get's harder everyday expesiolly when you have no clue when he will be out !

My man has been locked up for a year now and we are more in love than ever! And I haven't even been able to visit him because he's in algoa prison in Missouri and I live in Arizona! If you truly love him and he loves you then this enduring hardship will only strengthen your love. Hope this helps.

Wow. All this is so familiar. 20 days in. No bond. Vop...Arraignment Tue...then what.. who knows.original sentence 2-6...praying it doesn't come to that. My other half, my fiancee took a charge for both of us....and here I sit...doing my own time. Alone. No friends really...spent every hour w him. Lonely. Waiting patiently. Depression...ya. stay on the couch...sitting in silence. Make my self do stuff...clean etc. Talk to him every day. Hold bk the tears every time. Visit on Fridays. Leave in tears. They get there sentence....and we get one to. Living alone w out our companions....hearts broken yet trying to put up a front for our men till they get out. Counting the ever many there maybe to come.

My boyfriend has been in jail for about three weeks now, it feels like forever I saw him three times in a row and they were such amazing days! But he's been moved to a wing he says he hates, he is nothing like some of the people in there, not aggressive or eager to fight. And I'm trying to live my life, get a better job and place, but make everyone happy, at the same time get him moved and speak to him as much as possible! It's so hard because I worry about him and love him so much, he worries about me out here but I try hard to prove everything I can to put his mind at rest. It's sending him crazy in there. I want someone else to talk to who is in the same boat, if anyone out there whos boyfriend is in the same prison (Ranby) that'd be even better.

My boyfriend has been in jail for a month and feels like forever. I talk to him on the phone everyday and write letters and send him books. Visiting is once a week for 30min behind the glass which I take turns every other week with his parents. I'm really sad and I miss him a lot. Some days I feel like I cant do anything until I talk to him. We did everything together. I don't know how long he will be in there but I've been told the process with the trial could take at least 6-9months. He's facing 60yrs max. I was told the worst case scenario is 0-5yrs which he'd only be serving 1/3 of his sentence. I'm still nervous because I don't know what will happen. He is the love of my life and I'm waiting for him. I'm struggling with not being able to see him in person, hold his hand and tell him it's gonna be alright. I feel alone a lot but my parents are supportive and I know my bf is there for me. How do you guys keep going on with your life? Some days I'm fine cuz I'm busy working full time and have online classes. I know I'm a strong person normally but I feel weak. I don't look forward to the weekends anymore. I found out who my true friends are and it hurts. I just need to find ways to cope. Thanks for the support.

My boyfriend is in jail also reading this made me cry because I going brew the same thing I'm not happy at all it's been 3 months almost that's he's been in jail he has 15 more months to go in all 1yr and 1/2 I feel so alone and you would think that as days go by it will get easier but it's actually getting worse I see him every 4days for 45 mins only he has court here and there so I get to see him alil bit at court he means the world to me he tells me all the time not to be sad but I can't help it the person I love and miss so much I can't see him or call him when I want he tells me the only way he will be strong is if I'm strong for Him but its so hard the worst part is that I live with his mom and step dad an brother I sleep in his room were we use to sleep together now I sleep alone :( I pray to god he blesses us in to staying together and not giving up on each other because I don't ever want to be with anyone else I love you baby 224 Selena & Fito my prince LRT <3 I'm 18 he's 19 and it's been 73 days since I've touched or even kissed him In visits I look at his threw a glass and speak threw A phone it sucks but I'm trying my hardest :/ good luck to you other girls and if you truly love him you'll wait !

Im going thru the same thing. .. my bf has been in prison since january he still have 8 more months to go... i get to see him once a week on sundays . i have to drive 2 hours to get there then wait 1 1/2 to see him for only 45 min n it breaks my heart.. i love him so much... my bday is on friday and knowing that he wont be here kills me... i was the type of person what would make plans for my bday within 3 weeks in advance now i dont even care .. ever since he is gone i just dont feel like doing anything... honestly i love him too much i just hope that all this is worth it... all i can say is keep ur head up n be strong that everyday that goes by is a day closer to be with ur love one...

Some of you are extremely young to be going through a jail situation. The reason I say this is because if you aren't old enough to enter into the jail, you aren't ready to take on the responsibilities of having your boyfriend in jail. TRUST ME.

Im 16 my boyfriend went to jail Bout 8 months ago. He's older then me but 2 years but I'm not even aloud to go visit him and he's only been able to call me once we write letters but its not the same I feel the same way you do depression does a lot to you. I've been in the hospital for my deloression cause its gotten to the point where I have health issues. The only thing I can't tell you is I'm sorry and go to the doctor to getdepression meds they really do help. Good luck!

I'm 17 and my boyfriend just turned 18. It's stupid I'm not allowed to visit him ether. :(

i am in a similar situation. my fiancee got in trouble with the law and might be extradited back to ca. our son is barely 2 months old and i am not off maternity leave. the only reason i have faith is because of my faith. god has a plan and this struggle is part of it. time will heal everythingth. i can barely look at my son with tearing up because his dad isn't here. but it's okay i just need to stay positive.

my boyfriend just gat locked up on the wrong charges... n im 6 months pregnant... it is very hard to deal wit... just keep your head up and stay bussy... it gets worse when u just sit

if you love him then wait , im in the same situation except my boyfriend is in jail for the rest of his life and im not allowed in the prison because of some trouble , i sit and wait for his calls and letters but believe me as the time goes on itll get easier youll become interested in the acitivites you once were interested in it took me about 5 months to take the fact in. a couple weeks ago he told me to face reality and face that he isnt coming home and to move on with my life i was so upset with him but i knew it was the truth , but i just cant let him go because i love him to much , just wiat it out girl itll alll work out in the end!!

If he's worth waiting for than wait for him I would