Boyfriend In Jail

My boyfriend has been in jail for three weeks already it may not seem like a long time compared to a year and I would thought I would have got used to the fact he's gonna be in there for a while and I'll be strong enough to keep on with my life without him. However, things turned out different. I've gone visit him four times already and those have been the best days of my week, at home and school everything seems boring. I've been experiencing signs of depression since am losing interest in many of my daily activities. I'm the type of girl who'd love to go out and party, dance, drink, do good in school, go to the movies, you know, just have a good time...but things have turned different now. I find no interest in any of those things anymore and all I want to do lately is be home and wait for the next visit day to come where I could go see him even if its for just one hour. That hour means so much to me being able to look into his eyes tell him I miss him and I love him and hold hands, feel his lips against mine, see his smile and hear him laugh. I can't help crying every time I remember all the good moments we have. We've gone through so much, I see couples walking down the streets holding hands, and when I see two people kiss...I get this unexplainable feeling and I remember when I had that with him out here in the world. It all happened so quick and unexpected I know hes in there paying for something he did wrong...But it hurts and I just hope he comes out soon. Am trying my best to keep my head up and stay strong for him but it seems everyday that goes by my efforts decrease and I become weaker. Its not the same him being in there I only get to see him 2 times a week for just ONE HOUR. Thats nothing compared to the times we'd be iming each other online the whole day (on sidekicks) Or the moments we spend out exploring the world together. We've had our share of arguments but managed to work them out. He can't be there for me as how he was before because now...When am feeling down or going through a problem I have no one to go to...I became so attached to him I got myself separated from many people and lost many close friends...He became my only close friend but I dont regret doing that because he never left me alone and was there for me sometimes till 5 in the morning trying to make me feel better. lonely. When no ones around I cry, I wonder if he'll lose interest in me...get tired of me but feel like he has no other choice than to stick with me...Do you guys think this will happen? I feel theres other girls out here better for him...I mean theres no girls in jail so obviously he wont find interest in no guys...But I just feel he might get tired of me or am not good enough for him and I don't know...I think its worth waiting for him a year or maybe two...

Does someone have any ideas on how to deal with my depression problem?
Do you guys think he'll lose interest in me?
Is it worth waiting for him for one year?
I have so many questions unanswered.
My mind doesn't function as well lately...-_-
Any advices, ideas, comments?
MiszOreo MiszOreo
353 Responses Jan 24, 2008

Hey Hun. I am in the same situation as you. My boyfriend got arrested on my birthday (Feb 17) and it crushed me. At first his bail was at $4,000 but since he gt sentenced two weeks after that, he is now doing his mandatory 18 months here in our hometown, Boston. Believe me every day I cried, I was hurt, Depressed, and even lonely. For the first week I couldn't afford putting money in for his calls. But two days after he was put in, I walked by feet to put $80 in his canteen. When I went to Puerto Rico the day he was sentence for hos 18 months, I was scared and still am scared. I wanted to be there for him when his second court date came up but I was at my abroad program. Every day I answer his pone calls. When I'm at work, i'll run to the bathroom or outside. I really didn't care. I went to go visit him the first time on Saturday. I cried going in there but didn't cry in front of him. When I left I cried because I wanted him to come home with me. I miss my man smile, kisses, voice, and just him period. Physically here with me. It's been 2 months now and I have 16 months to go. It's not just him going through this experience, it is me too. I send him letters every 3 days out of the week. Sending him photos and love notes. He sent me pictures of his drawings and a letter that had me in tears, for his love for me. All I can do is be there for him, see him as many times as I can, give him my last drop of money even if I was starving. When he comes home I know my baby is going to be treated like a king. We have been through so much for two years. My family doesn't improve of him and especially for the situation that had caused him to be in jail. All I know is that I love him, I see myself with him, I am his woman. I do not care for what my family or what anyone would have to say about me. I know what my man is capable of. Lately, I've been going school and working more to keep my mind from being lonely. For him to hear that I'm doing good in school makes him proud of me. Working and staying faithful. My eyes for him only and my body. I can not see myself without him and that's fact. I believe in God and I know God would be by our side.

I know what you going through I feel lost without him being here with me lonely depress don't like to do anything no more care less about friends and family just want to be home and sad

It's not you it's him being in there away from the outside need to try and keep him from thinking about being in there send letters as much as you can they love to get to him when he can call sometimes they can't .don't talk about him being there unless he does and be patient...Go out live your life but be faithful.God bless and good luck.

My boyfriend spent all of December in jail. He got dragged in the same day I was made redundant at work. I went from having a job and a boyfriend to a cold and empty home very quickly. I get you on the visit days. Id catch 2 busses and a train twice a day every day I could. It cost almost 10 bucks a day, so I didn't have money for food if I saw him (I never told him that though). I'm 25 this year, he's 27. He's a life time criminal and I'm a aspiring young woman with a bachelors degree and I work at a university... Any day now the police will be here to take him in again. I've not slept, I just keep starring at him, knowing that every glance could be the last for a few years. It's hard. It's a test of all you have. But, every day I love him more than I thought possible. Try and map out the positives. They exist. For my situation, we needed some space. He needed to get clean, so did I. I needed to learn how to be myself again. We decided to be that couple that laughed and smiled during our visits, almost as if we were on the couch at home. In 2 words, Own it. if you love him, own that ****. Be the most amazing support network you can be. Make him smile every time you visit. You may be hurting, be you have your freedom. Use it wisely 😊 if you love kale but he doesn't, eat kale like there is no tomorrow! If he Hates metal, blast it till your ears bleed. Find the positives, fill yourself with pleasant things and vibes. The biggest hurdle to jump is feeling guilty about the freedom you have. At the end of the day, he's in there whether you are miserable or joyful. May as well make the most of it. Your precious hour will become that much more precious and you'll notice things start working out when you send the world the right frequency. The only bit of any of this that you control is you. So own it babe 😊

My boyfriend has been in for just 25 days today, and well I've only visited him once and for 15 minutes. I talk to him over the phone most days but he runs out of money quickly. He's even traded meals to talk to me. It's a year we have been together this month and I know how you feel. I miss him so much, he made a dumb decision but now I'm going to bond him out so that way he could get better and sober. He could go to rehab instead of being in jail, I'd feel so much better if I knew he was there vs jail. He's a great guy who relapsed on some bad stuff and only being 17 he's got the chance to get better. I miss his smile, his hugs and kisses, everything. He's an amazing young man and I can't see my future without him. We have been through so much together, addiction and then getting sober. His stupid friend talked him into relapsing and the next day he got caught and arrested. I miss him so much. He plans on staying sober and he's almost 18 and is emancipated from his family so when he is out he is moving in with me (I'm 18) and we are going to work on staying sober and he's going to get his GED then get enrolled in tech school. We are getting everything straight as soon as I get the money for his 15k bond. Luckily I only have to gather 1.5k but that's a lot for someone who is in school woth only a part time job. But my family will help me out hopefully. I've never loved anyone like him, we have this connection I can't explain and I hope to be with him for a long time. I hope everything turned out for you two.

Heyyy everyone, I'm so happy I found this chat as I'm so so down. My partner has been held in remand for almost 3 months (3rd feb) and was only yesterday sentenced. He got 3 years and it was the max he could get. Because he pleaded early guilty they take a 1/3 off that being a year, half that as you only serve half your sentence inside and then he's applying for tag which is halved again making it 6 1/2 months around mid April time.

These 3 months have killed me and have effected my uni work so badly. I've gone from seeing him every single day to only once every 6 weeks. My partner was taken while I was at uni so I never got to say goodbye. My partner has literally brought me out of my shell and we have made each other better people with having each other in our lives. I'm in Cornwall and my partner is all the way up in the west midlands so I don't get to visit him as often as I like. We use an emailing system called "emailaprisoner" meaning letters get to him quicker and I get a reply the next day minus weekends. He spends all his money he has on call credit to me so I speak to him every night. However still I feel so empty and lost without him by my side.

How do you girls cope with being in this situation? I've gone from a gym addict and fitness bunny to now a lazy slob who just lays in bed for hours thinking and wishing he was with me. I know I'm torturing myself but I have no interest in doing anything with my day. I can go days without a shower and have completely abandoned my hygiene however thankfully do not smell. My energy levels have just hit an all time low and I csnt seem to pick myself up. I want my boyfriend home with me where we can have a fresh start however sadly I can't :(.

I'd really like to hear back from you all, thinking of you all!! <3

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I have a boy friend that got locked up in May 2015 the one thing that keeps me going and willing to wait is I know from his letters that I am making life easier for him by writing him 3 to 4 times a week even though I only get back 2 letters a month. I can feel the love from the words he writes. I had my first visit in Jan 2016 it was great to spend 5 hours with him but it hurt more to leave. I have to visit only once a month as it's hard to get to his location but I loved getting a hug miss and holding his hand. I love my man and even if it takes the full 4 years I will wait he is well worth the wait. Find a no me study to write and share with him it helps a lot to talk to God and pray. Love ya my friends in Jesus.

My soon to be husband is lock up for 7 month and he gets out in July 22-2016 and I am always try to be OK for our daughter. And it's hard too

My fiancΓ© gets out July 28, 2016... Hang in there!!!!

I know your exicited😁

So I'm 24 my "boyfriend" is 25 he comes home in 2017.... I say "boyfriend" because we were unofficial prior to him going in and became official while he was in there, we grew up together .. The bond is crazy ... and I would love to be with him for the rest of my life .... but it's just hard sometimes .. I've been good it's easy to reject guys cause I only want him. But when I have nothing to do but think it's just sad ... I just hope he comes home and makes all the changes he says he will .. and actually stay home

Just have hope and pray. Because my soon to be will be out in July 22-2016 and he when to his brother to help him and he brother had bad drugs so no my life is mess up until he gets out

Of course they do. Things are different now. You need to adapt and find strength in being there for him in his time of need, you will get a deeper connection with him and benefit from that when he gets out. Don't celebrate cut that doesn't make sense during the circumstances but like have distracting yourself and see him less because that actually makes it harder, raw even. Save visits for when he really needs it. Mine has been gone for over a year and it's making us stronger actually. Without the physical attraction we have more emotional connection and I've adapted just fine. I wish you well, but it's how you look at it that makes it bearable or unbearable.

I think you should. Especially if it's only one year. One year will go by so quickly that when it comes time for him to be out on like a month, you will be thinking already ? I have a boyfriend who is going to prison for 6 years and I feel like waiting for him is just what I'm going to do. Its kind of a different situation , we knew when he was going but had no idea it would be for so long. Our plan was to split up before he went too, to save all the hurt. But things haven't gone as planned. I thought I would be okay with moving on but I don't want anyone else. It's very weird also because this man is 30 years older than I am. But I'm crazy about him for some strange reason.I miss him more than I have ever missed any person or item I have ever had. There's a stupid thing about this also and that's that I am better off without him anyway. I think. See I don't even know but I know as of right now I've been waiting. I have hooked up a couple times but it wasn't anything serious at all and he was the only thing I could think about and it just made me want him more.

My boyfriend is currently in jail. He's been in jail for about 18 months now awaiting trail. Hopefully he beats his case. I believe that he didn't do it & if he did, it was a mistake. I'm so lonely without him. I love this boy to death! It's almost been 2 years with him& he been locked up for most of it. We almost had a child together but I had a miscarriage the day he turned his self in!! I miss him so much. Hang in there! We got this😘😘

my boyfriend was in the military for quiet a few years and took many lives.. he is not the same person anymore. We were just friends then before he went into the army. 6 years later he is discharged from the military and we start dating. Everything seems great. He is not the same person after a while and has severe PTSD and he has literally no emotions now.. I fear for him. He is blank, cannot smile, cannot laugh, or feel love. He knows he loves me but cannot feel the love. He cannot have sex with me properly he is emotionless because of what the army had made him do. He wasn't always like this it has gotton worse lately and has been showing these signs. So he has decided to LEAVE FOR 6 MONTHS to a treatment facility to get better halfway across the country. I'm from Canada a very large country, so he is 3 days away 4 provinces away from me, and I cannot visit him either it is a strictly no contact treatment facility to make people from the army and who have seen war and taken lives and to male them better again. We will still be together and I will wait for him to return to me after those long 6 MONTHS. I do not know how to deal with this tho and I am crying constantly and I do not feel like I will make it thru, but I love him and know he needs help. Anyone have any suggestions?

Me too its really hard for me he left & they sent him to kilby in Montgomery & it just hurt so bad I'm lost I don't know what to do every time I think about I get real sick we been talking for 5 years going on 6 I'm really scared cause I don't know what will happen to him in there he's not the right person for that deep down inside he's a good person just started hanging around the wrong people

hey my boyfriend of 3 years. just went back to jail after only being out for 2 months. he was locked up 6 months previously and it was terrible our only way of communication was letters!", no visiting no phone calls. didn't have money for the phone and the jail was extremely far from where I lived. it was so hard without him for those 6months I cried all the time thought I couldn't handle it. when he got out he came to where I was and stuff was perfect again but only out a short 2month and is already back in, we don't even no for how long yet. I'm hurting I'm broken idk how to make it threw a 2nd time with him being gone.

I am in the same situation. My bf went in last week he's only servingirl 6 months but it ain't been a week yet and it seems like forever cause he isn't here with me. I've become depressed as well not eating, leaving our house or talking to people. I cry after every phone call and visit. I get to only see him once a week but we talk daily it day for 15 minutes. It's hard especially when you love that person and all you want is to be with them. I understand how you feel. While I was reading this I thought you know exactly how I am feeling. It is just so hard but he wouldn't want you to feel this way. The hardest part is trying to stay strong when you are falling apart on the inside.

My daughters bf is in jail waiting for trial. She is 16 years old and in grade 11. Her whole future ahead of her. She wants to go study qualify herself to be something in life and to earn het own money to be independent. He finished school, has a job as a manager at a Pub/bar, is stingy and does not want to go study. She crying all the time and stressing, didn't go to school for two days, Expects me to run up and down and collect all the information possible on how to get him out. Walk with my one year old late at night going to people who knows about law on what to do. In the mean time his mother says we must just hope and pray, his dad days he wont allow his boy going to jail guilty or not.. She using my phone to stay in contact with his parents..... I don't see that there's any future waiting on a jailbird. He's got a criminal record in the first place which means everything that needs to applied for must be in her name. Will he be able to get a job again with a criminal record and no qualifications. My feeling is my daughter is young with her future ahead of her its a waist of time running around trying to get your 20 year old boyfriend out of jail if he had any values or vision for his own life he would never have ended up in jail.

Hi my bf just got put in jail don't know yet for how long but this has been the worst thing I've been through other then losing my mother he is my everything and I miss him its been 4 hours and I been crying ever since

i could really use some advice. 11 years ago, i dated a guy and the connection was the realest feeling i've ever felt. i was young and dumb and walked away from him and we've been living our own lives, relationships and have kids. a few months ago, we started talking again and it was like no time has gone by. foundation of friendship and being so turned on, it's amazing. so we talked for three days and he was gonna move up here and we talked about seeing what happens. kicken it and tryin new things. then he gets caught up for some bullshit and is looking at a year in prison. i want nothing else but to be with him, i went and visited today and we've been talking on the phone almost everyday, writing back and forth. i'm so consumed and i guess i'm looking for any advice anyone can give me. the connection is real, i believe in him and no doubt will wait for him. it just hurts so damn much being without him, even though we never really got a chance to be together in the first place.

Call me 347 328 4300 I'm going thru the same thing we really should talk

You just have to stay positive. Being sad all the time will only make the situation worse. Send him letters and pictures so he knows you still care about him. Tell him about your day so he feels that you still want him in your life..and he he really loves you he will try for it to work out regardless of the situation. If you really love him then wait for him. Wait for him till you just can't anymore. Later on you won't have a regret because you'll know that you tried until you couldn't. And depression is gonna hit you once in a while, keep yourself busy with work/school or find a new hobby like working out or something. But they main thing is to stay positive and keep communicating and let him know what you feel. Good luck.

My boyfriend has been in jail for 3 weeks now. I have not had any communication with him at all. I just found out he was in there and that he's getting sent off for 2 years. I've been depressed, haven't been eating much or doing anything and sleeping is what I do to keep everything out my mind. What is there i can do to start being active again and out of all my emotions im feeling right now? Also Everything you typed about is what I'm feeling exactly. It's not good.

I'm in the exact same spot, 3 years tho. it's only been a week and I wrote my first letter off Monday. and sending another one tomorrow. it's crazy bc I'm use to talking to him everyday 24/7 and for that just to be taken away and having no one else to talk to makes me depressed. all I've been doing is sleeping and going to work, if I'm up I think about it and start to cry. in just trying to keep my head up and you should do the same, they'll be home soon. just pray and stay positive

My bf is in jail, and i feel like I'm going crazy. I found out hes been moved to medical and have not heard from him in a week. Im a person who always takes care of my loved ones n being in the dark is driving me crazy. idk what to do who to talk to. My family so does not understand. ugh any ideas

I am in your situation Also but mines is different he cheated on me 😞 but I forgive him me and his dad talk his dad told me he only loved me and missed me so much but he send a letter to the other girl telling her to wait for him and he love her idk what to do but he told his dad I'm he's real girlfriend and he was sad because I never send him a letter or writte him but he send me a letter and I was like πŸ˜” and the worst part is that he never committed a crime te judge don't believe him and he doesn't have enough proves for him and he might have 5 years in jail πŸ˜žπŸ’” idk what to do I just cry also

Dont wait on somebody like that..

I know it's hard but he's clearly not committed to you so why should you

Why not ?

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I am in the same boat as you except for he just got an angel like just a week ago in his next court date is July 17 four days away for my birthday. I am in the same boat as you except for he just got an angel like just a week ago in his next court date is July 17 four days away for my birthday and his birthday is June 22 and he wants me to come visit him but I can't so I feel you but much worse because I can't visit him like I want to

My boyfriend just got put in jail for 2 years today ...just keep your head up and stay strong think positive and you will be fine if he really loves you he will wait for u

Be boyfriend is going to jail for a month because I told him to tell off this girl who called me horrible names and talked behind my back because I was afraid I couldn't do it. Try writing a diary or watch comidies maybe just talk to someone you trust or just go out for fresh air. That's what I do when I'm depressed and upset. I have been crying a lot and I don't know what to do mentally. I have been falling apart slowly yeah I understand that.

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My bed was arrested April 3 an his court date isn't until May 18th. It is hard I miss him more than he can imagine. I stay depressed even at work because all I want to do is to be able to call him an tell him I love him. Or to be able to go home an have his arms around me. We can only do visits over the computer an he calls on the phone. I have no clue how long he'll be in there. But he says they have to let him out eventually he isn't serving a death sentence. I just miss him so much so does our son.

Hi you will be ok put god first and he will see you through. Also go to some therapy sessions that will make you feel better if you believe that he's worth the wait do it if not don't follow your heart.

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I am going through this as well. My boyfriend just went away last month and we have been apart now for 4 weeks and it is driving me crazy. I miss him so much, we have 5 kids together and have been together for over 6 years. I don't know what to do, I try to keep busy but with the facility under lockdown for the last few days I am becoming really depressed and I just want to hear his voice. He could be eligible for parole in July and if not he will be out by November. I know it doesn't sound like that long but ever to spending practically everyday of the last six years with him it feels like an excrutiatingly long time. Any advice that you can give me would be great, thanks

Hey Rrollo! I know EXACTLY what you're going through. My boyfriend and I have only been together for 9 months... I know that's a very short period of time but when you get close very fast it feels like forever. He went to jail March 26 and its beeen the hardest month ever. He gets out in July but I just want you to know that I understand. I've been depressed and do'nt ever want to do anything but getting those phone calls daily and visits keep me going. Keep your head up! He lovess you and he will be home soon :)

Hey Rrollo! I know EXACTLY what you're going through. My boyfriend and I have only been together for 9 months... I know that's a very short period of time but when you get close very fast it feels like forever. He went to jail March 26 and its beeen the hardest month ever. He gets out in July but I just want you to know that I understand. I've been depressed and do'nt ever want to do anything but getting those phone calls daily and visits keep me going. Keep your head up! He lovess you and he will be home soon :)

I am going through the exact same Thing I can relate to you! My boyfriends been in jail a month now and we've been together two years and that sounds so short but to me it's like a lifetime. He is my dream man he's perfect with my daughter they have a loving relationship he's so good to me he's my best friend before anything and that's why it's been so hard. We was living together with and he went shop to get something for dinner and unfortunately I ended up eating alone as he got arrested when court the next day then went straight to jail. It's been so hard coping cause he was my biggest support system and even though it's so hard you just have to be positive and think about the good times and just remember what makes you love them. There's so much days I feel like I'm falling to pieces cause I just need him here to hug me and tell me everything's alright but try and stay busy it helps a lot doesn't take the pain away but helps. I'm at work Monday to Friday so throughout the day I don't have the time to sit and cry he's always on my mind but I just think about the positive and we will be together again one day. You sound like you really love your partner and I'm sure he loves you my advice would be give it a go this is only testing your relationship be that back bone for him That he needs and that will show him he don't need to be anywhere else cause your down for him. It's hard but time goes so quick and before you know it things will be back To normal. Stay strong and most of all stay positive. I hope this has helped. :-)

I know how you feel. My best friend moved away 3 years ago and he and I have not stopped talking since. Somewhere along the way I fell in love with him but we never made it official because of the distance. He got arrested 3 weeks ago. I've written to him but there is nothing more I can do but wait for his court date and see how much time he's facing. It's so hard when your friends won't be there for you because they don't support the relationship. If anyone has advice please help. I don't know how to deal with this at all. And the jails website says he got his probation revoked. I heard that this means he might face his full probation time? If anyone knows anything on this please help me out. Thank you. Good luck to everyone else suffering and I hope your partners are all safe at home soon.

Girl the best thing you can do is pull your head up and live your life on the outside. Visit, write, whatever but you still have other oblagations too. The time will go faster if your living your life.

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Hi all,
You most probably all think im crazy but my partner is currently on remand in prison awaiting a admission hearing of where he will plead guilty or arson with intent. Unfortunately the arson was against me so im the victim :-( I have to add he has never so much as raised his voice to me and this is down to a mental breakdown as he suffers with bi-polar. Because im the victim i cant see him at all which is killing me inside all i want to do is visit but im not allowed and his court hearing isnt untill March which will then be 3 months since the incident. I genuinely dont know how i am going to get through this. I know i shouldnt feel sorry but as i said he has never hurt me in our 3 years together :-( How can i get through this x

Everthing u just wrote is everything I'm going thru its like I was readying a book about myself 😭😞 ugh I feel you just keep your head up girl an keep fighting for ur love

Hi. This is my first time ever putting my emotions out here, here goes.
My man of almost 2 years got caught for robbery & started his 18 month sentence today. Preparing for this was so emotionally draining. I know I signed up for future pain and loneliness. I would not have committed myself to him if I didnt believe in us. Theres going to be holidays & birthdays that we miss with one another and I cry because I miss him so much. It has been only 8 hours since he had left. The lawyer even said us ladies feel like we suffer more than they do while they play cards and meet new people on the "inside". Meanwhile were stuck in the real "world" trying to mantain our lifestyle. Trying to eat, pay bills, smile even when it hurts. I just got off the phone with him and it was a 5.00 call for 15 minutes. Never has 15 minutes gone by so quickly. If I can suggest anything it would be to go to work, pick yourself up and be there for your man. They may all not admit it, but they miss us and would undo their mistake if they could. As everyone tells me "keep your head up", whatever.

Whoa, $5 for a call? That's insane. Hosted Numbers is a way for you to save a bunch on calls. You'll have to google it because I can't post links. That's ludicrous that they charge so much.

Me and my man have been together almost 2 years, and more than half of that time, he's been locked up. He got out and all this bullshit happened, and then he was on the run and got arrested once again two nights ago, on dec 30th. This time, though, he's not going for a few months. He has AT LEAST a year to do. Every single thing reminds me of him, I love him so much I don't know what to do. I know it gets easier, cuz I've had to deal with him being in for months and months, but now that I know its gonna be at least a year it's so much harder. Since he got arrested two days ago, all I have been doing is lying in bed literally the entire time, even though it was New Years! I don't have ANY friends either, he was my one and only best friend so I have literally no one to talk to about this. So happy there is someone I can relate to. I need a distraction, but idk what to do. I forgot what it's like to be alone. Any advice? Really glad to see the relation other people have though.

Hey Morgan,

Distance can be tough. I know phone calls can get expensive, but if you use HostedNumbers (google it), you can end up saving a BUNCH.

Hey oddly tonight I am experiencing the exact same situation :(

I am hating this time around its the worst ever haven't touched each other for 4 months and I visit him thru video its horrible. He is looking at 3 years and I am jot dealing with it well at all

Oh no, that's terrible. Stay strong, you can do it!

Wow this ish happens to a lot of ppl, huh? Mine went away July 23rd 2014. Im going kinda nuts when the jail goes on lock down and i dont get my phone calls as usual. Its been really hard. One thing I did though in the beginning is not ask how long hes looking at or what its for cuz I dont want to know what amount of time he's looking at. That's cuz it will haunt me, I've made my decision to stick by him so it's easier not knowing how long it will be. It could be 2 more wks or 2 more years. But If I know I will want to run and Ill be counting the days.

I'm in the same boat!! My babe was sent to prison in 2012 and hopefully will be released in 2017. I miss him everyday all day!! I only get to talk and visit him once a month he was just moved about a month ago to a new prison and he has to work his way out to population. This past month has been rough. I find myself laying in bed all day thinking about him. I to have no friends to talk to about this. I find comfort in reading religious books (Islam). If your love is strong it will withstand the test of time hold on to your good times and look forward to more when he is released!!!

If the cost of calling him is what keeps you form only calling him once a month, I suggest you check out hostednumbers (google it). Some state charge unfair prices for long distance calls and we help fix that by getting you a local number.

Thanks for the info but where is he only gets 1 call a month

:( sorry to hear that

I am sorry to here that . that is hard

Ya eh I like what you said about if your love is strong. Its damn hard emotionally though, and I have friends but I dont like bringing it up because I feel weird like Im being taboo or something.

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My boyfriend has been away for 2 weeks now and I'm waiting to hear his sentencing in a couple of weeks this has been the worst 2 weeks of my life I can't stop crying I can't even speak at times does this get easier?? Please tell me it does

You will get through this, you can do it.

It does get better whatever better is!! If this is your first time doing this there is a lot of crap to come so be prepared. If u have been together a long time, they get really different inside. They love differently they have to be spoken to differently by us.

..we all go through the same crap. They get really insecure and not trusting they hear stuff in the background that isn't even happening. ..they are constantly thinking you are up to no . good and just for the record I have been with my man for 2 years on the street common law and I still have to stop the car and ask complete strangers who's in the car with me because he doesn't believe I'm alone.

It also gets very expensive to keep your mans canteen stocked up it isnt cheap or easy having him away and usually we are all they have outside and so they depend on us. My man is big boy 6ft 2 230lbs and he eats alot and his canteen is like 200.00 a month WHEN I CAN DO it. They find ways to hussle inside but sometimes its up to us so make sure you know about Canteen cuz hes gonna need it.

I wanna write a handbook for loved ones trying to cope with their loved ones locked up....I have been thru so much with jail and my guy im a fighter I advocate for him all the time
So if u ever need someone or have question u can always message me im not sure if we can out our phone number on here but I would be willing to talk to u any time I believe in compassion and helping through our own experiences and this is the 3rd jail bit ive done with my guy but circumstances this time are way worse than ever thats why im not . handling it well. This is also the LAST TIME for me

My soon to be husband got lock up in October 28 and then Missouri come to get him and now he will be out in July 22-2016 and I don't no how to be strong any more. But the one thing I hate the most I can't talk to him about what he did before he got lock up. I love him and I don't no what to do

It will get easy at times. I am going through the same thing that you are July 22nd 2016 cannot get here any faster

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this seriously hits home right here. in 2009 I met my first love, we were 12 years old and we started dating on Jan. 1, 2010. It is now about to be 2015 and five years later I am still madly in love with this guy. 5 months ago he did something very stupid, and even though he messed up I am the only person other than his dad that is there for him. putting money on the phone and going to see him every Sunday has been really hard for me, I love him so much and I catch myself crying at times because I just miss him. I can't talk about it with my friends because no one just understands how I feel or what I'm going through. I might be a little younger than most of you but I know I love him. I can't imagine being with anyone else. his sentence right now is 15 years, and $25,000 bond. I keep telling myself things weren't suppose to be this way.

I hear you girl same situation

Word on that!!!!

i wish we could get in contact, same situation with the age and stuff and i just need someone to talk to sometimes that truly understands me.

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My fiance was arrested Aug. 19 and he got sentenced 2 weeks later for 4 yrs. but those first weeks where really hard because i hadnt talked or seen him at all only the first 3 days i was able to talk to him for 15 min or so. but once he got sentenced i didnt hear from him until Sep18 when he was finally housed so i do know what you all are talking about it is hard when you have gotten used to seeing that one person everyday and then one day hes not there anymore it truly hurts that all you can do is find a way to distract your self i ended up getting a new job to kill as many hours of the day to be able to save as much money as possible so when he does come home we are not struggling and he can be confortable in his own home thats my advice to you distract your self as my fiance say do what you have to to live your life because no matter what we are both serving this time i maybe be in here and you arre out there but we are together in this we both are hurting all i ask is to respect your self and to respect me as well. and that is truly all we can do respect each other. it will be hard on some days but take the time to dwell in it then keep on going dont hold it in thats not good for you. like me fiance got transfered and i wont be hearing from him for at least 4 months thats so hard i was only able to hear from him for 3 weeks everyday so i cherished to calls everyday because you never now when the next one will be. we need to be strong and pray to god that your man is doing well. write to him as much as you can if possible.

Ugh prison sucks. I wish they understood that human touch is so important and communication is key and they take that **** away like its a bad thing :*( I need to hug my man so bad :( been 4 1/2 months

You are doing a good job keeping it together. If the cost of long-distance phone calls gets to be too much, check out HostedNumbers (google it). They will help with the fees.

The only thing I never realized is that Im doing the time too, thanks for pointing that out. Ive been relying on him to help me with the phone bill he's very resourceful, but your right I should show him what I can do to hold it down financially and make sure everything is fresh when he gets out.

I like this response you go girl β™‘β™‘β™‘

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My boyfriend was just recently arrested two days ago...its really taken a toll on me...weve been best friends for two years and have been together for a year. He is my soul mate...he helped me get and stay clean from my nasty habits...weve been living with each other since the day he asked me out....its hard going from being with the love of my life every single day for the past 379 days having to sleep alone, well I haven't slept for the past two nights and its very very upsetting for me...he has court on the 14 and I'm praying to god every night that they don't take him away from me....please any advice on how to cope with this would be much obliged.

I had this happen in the last few weeks. On October 14th, I found out that we were expecting; my first, his 3rd. On Oct 18th (Sweetest Day), we were pulled over, held at gun point, and he was arrested on a felony capias warrant from 2007 while we were 5 minutes away from a fall festival. He was meeting my parents and sister for the first time then we were telling everyone the good news. He never made it. At this point, I don't know what to do. The shock & humiliation of telling my family directly afterward was one thing. But now I'm left to take care of everything, myself/our baby, all the logistics that he can't tend to. I need help. Someone, please help me.

I understand what you are going through. My boyfriend has been in jail for a month and we don't know the outcome yet. We have been together 15 years and I feel my life is gone. My visits and calls keep me going.

Keep it up. If you want to save money on phone calls, use HostedNumbers. You can sign up online and save a lot on the crazy prison fees.

if the love is real you should know boo im going through the same thing and if its real the love never goes change ETC... be strong

Reading all these responds give me some hope, my love has been down 4 months. He was sentenced to one year in prison. I get to visit and sometimes call but I can't help but think if I'm bringing myself down because of his mistakes. We've been together for a long time but this is his second time in prison, idk if I should just move on to someone who has some real goals In life or wait and see if maybe this time he'll get his life together. I'm in my 20's in college, my friends tell me I should find someone with my same goals but I can't help but love my bf way too much to give up. Any advice?

Hey if you love your man you wouldn't ask this question. Most of us girls stay solid faithful hold it down ride or die with our men, so questioning whether to move on is NOT AN OPTION. Jail life isn't for every one nor should it be, but ur man goes down u don't bounce on him...not if u love him

Keep it up. If you want to save money on phone calls, use HostedNumbers. You can sign up online and save a lot on the crazy prison fees. You can also sign up for the affiliate program that gets you $10 for every person you refer.

My boyfriend went to jail about a week ago. I'm away at school and he called me to tell me that he was about to get arrested and that he'll see me soon. My heart dropped and all I could do was cry. We recently started dating at the beginning of the Summer, but we are so close to each other already. It's already hard enough being away from him while I'm at school, but now it's going to be even harder. I know I'll talk to him like once a day, and see him once a month. Now we are waiting on the court date to see what his sentencing will be. I know I'm at school, but that's stressful enough. Knowing that he's in there and I'm out here is killing me. Anybody have any advice on how I can cope with the situation?

Hey girl!! Im sorry to hear that! And yes it is a very difficult thing to go through! My boyfriend will be in jail for two years in December already:( and he still has a couple to go! I must say its the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with in life! No one understands unless that person is going through the same thing!! The best thing to do really is to keep yourself busy! It sounds hard and not helpful maybe but it definitely is the way to go to keep your mind busy and away from so much pain for at least a bit! I was like that the first few months i cried myself to sleep:( every night! But now things have gotten better and i get really sad on just my emotional days (time of the month) lol.. With time you will cope with the situation and get used to it! I really hope he doesn't get a lot of time and wish you the best!!:) u can talk to me if you ever feel like you need to! XOXO take care girly!

I just commented on the other girl post I'll just repost it here- I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and he has been dealing with legal issues for over three years. This month he was sent away, October 6th and it was the hardest thing. I couldn't be there at his sentencing because I had an exam in university. He ended up being sentenced to 5 months in jail however he is appealing the decision. He is only going to have to serve 100 days on good behaviour so he will be back into my life the middle of January. He has been in holding this hole time 4 and a half hours away and they don't allow phone calls because I've tried and they told me I can't until he gets transferred. Also they only transfer people once a week, and they don't know when its going to happen because the place they are transferring him too full. I'm so upset, I just want to talk to him and know he still loves me.I know he does love me but the fact of not talking to him or seeing him. I know this is just for a short time but it feels so hurtful, I just feel lost. I'm trying really hard to stay on tract with school but he's all I can think about. …… Anyway you seam to know what its like to deal with this, I know mine isn't as long as a time to wait and you have years. however I wouldn't mind having something to talk to.

Hello there!:) now that is horrible!! I cant imagine not talking to my bf at all! I would go crazy!! He only gets certain amount of minutes per month soo he calls me every other day for only 15 min seems soo short! And yes even though your boyfriend's time isn't as much as mines i still know what ur going through and its very hard! I've been depressed for like the past two days! It gets to me here and there i try to focus on other things but since im not working right now cant keep myself as busy:( is he in federal or state prision? Im sure he still loves you!:) this is when they need us the most! And its awesome that ur willing i wait for him! Your showing him how much u love him! And he will appreciate this his whole life:) just think about how this will only make you guys stronger! In a couple months you will have him with you! Thats amazing! I would love to talk to you too! Were going through the same thing!!

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and he has been dealing with legal issues for over three years. This month he was sent away, October 6th and it was the hardest thing. I couldn't be there at his sentencing because I had an exam in university. He ended up being sentenced to 5 months in jail however he is appealing the decision. He is only going to have to serve 100 days on good behaviour so he will be back into my life the middle of January. He has been in holding this hole time 4 and a half hours away and they don't allow phone calls because I've tried and they told me I can't until he gets transferred. Also they only transfer people once a week, and they don't know when its going to happen because the place they are transferring him too full. I'm so upset, I just want to talk to him and know he still loves me.I know he does love me but the fact of not talking to him or seeing him. I know this is just for a short time but it feels so hurtful, I just feel lost. I'm trying really hard to stay on tract with school but he's all I can think about.

Keep it up. If you want to save money on phone calls, use HostedNumbers. You can sign up online and save a lot on the crazy prison fees. You can also sign up for the affiliate program that gets you $10 for every person you refer.

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My boyfriend has been in jail for 3 months, has 8 left. Feels crazy without him, but I think I'll be fine due to the fact he didn't get much time. By this time next year he will be home. Stay strong, don't give up on your daily activities because that will make you focus more on your loneliness rather than letting time pass by. Good luck!

My boyfriend has been in jail for about a month but he hasn't been sentenced or actually charged with anything. He was kicked out of his mental health court for some bullshit reason, so basically he could have his probation revoked and be in prison for 5 years, or nothing at all could happen. Not knowing what's going to happen is driving me crazy. I see him once a week and write him but some days I miss him more than usual and I cry because I can't touch him. I don't want to be with anyone else, I love him so much and I'm really scared. I could wait a year for him, but anything more than that... I'm not sure if I could keep my sanity... I only see him through a screen, which sucks, but every time I see him or get a letter from him its like everything is okay. When I feel sad, I read his letters or listen to music. Going to hang out helps a lot too. Don't surround yourself with people who will try to tell you what you should do, you want to be around people who will comfort you. Do what you want to do. The perfect guy isn't prince charming, he's not going to come on a white horse and whisk you away. Sometimes the perfect guy is the one who doesn't seem perfect at all.

i understand you so much but if you love him like you say you do then stick by his side because if you don't you will just end up regretting it. My boyfriends currently locked up as well and i don't get to see him twice a week, actually i only see him once but anyways just make sure you support him and stick by his side and he'll realize that you are the best out there for him. stay strong and good luck!
ps: my boyfriend is facing 6 months and he has an upcoming charge which is way bigger than this one so I'm sure it'll all add up to more than a year and regardless I'm deciding to stay by his side.

My Boyfriend has been in Federal Prison for 4 years already with 1 year left. Its extremely hard considering they moved him from Missouri where we both lived to California. So I haven't even seen his face other than pictures. He is only allowed 300 minutes a month on the phone && they can only have 15minute calls at a time. He can email but with the screenings its almost impossible to have a conversation. && he has a limited amount of minutes on that too. But I know I have to stay strong for when he comes home && save damn near every penny I make to make sure he has eeverything he needs when he comes home September 18 2015. Only advice I can give, is Dont lose yourself while he is gone. Do what you have to do for you && your rrelationship.

I'm going through the same thing right now, I feel the exact same way, I'm not even allowed to visit my boyfriend because we're both under 18 and its the worst feeling. I have no friends to be there for me anymore, and I always feel so lonely, but i promised I'd wait for him so hopefully I make it through

My son's father has been away for two weeks and it feels like a years. I have terrible anxiety as if I was the one locked up and I can't stop crying. Stress is effecting my health now. Any advice

Try to think about your son, stay strong for him as well as his father. It may not seem like it, but if you distract yourself time flies! Before you know it he'll be home.

My boyfriend has been in jail for 6 months and the day came which they sentenced him to 10 years in state prison I feel so sad I just want to go to sleep and wake up in 10 years when he is free I feel so sad I want to give up I don't want to go to school or nothing I have the support of my parents I am just 19 years old and I hate that my boyfriend has to go through that

I feel the same way but I promised him forever so I'm sticking with my promise but I sit on the couch all day and just cry my eyes out I wish I could talk to someone who is going thu the samething

Same here having your other half ripped away from you is the worst feeling in the world. Its been a month how can i possibly survive 4 more :(

Im going thru the same thing ill talk to u

I know how you feel, I want to be with my man for a long time. And his currently in jail right now, he only has 2 weeks left but he has to go to another county because he also has another warrent there so he might be in jail again for another month. It's tough but all I do is pray for him cry every night and see him on visiting hours as much as I can.

Hey i just joined am here reading all the post trying to find someone who might understand what am also going though. Am i can totally relate to you.

My bf have been sentenced to 5 yr in prison in the uk. Lucky there time is served as half the sentenance.

I almost a month now and i haven't heard a word from him i have sent numerous of msg with is brother and son but he haven't sent any msg with them for me.

The problem is we dont live in the same country and it very different for me to visit. I love him dearly. I have cried so many times. The distance and not hearing from me is killing me.

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I am feeling the same way. Mine just got 2-4 yesturday. He only just went upstairs where he cant make free calls n my car went down the same day he went to court. I have an autistic son who only can communicate with him. I have no one n

Hi I know what you're going through but you have to stay busy otherwise it will bring you down you also got to read your Bible and pray to the Father above some things can only be changed by prayer and fasting but you got to believe and expect God to move as long as you are sincere and whole hearted to Him.I know it's not easy caz I'm going through it too n I FM's know when he will be home.

I wish I knew what to do to, Hell it's been 4 days and I'm completely falling apart. It was I woke up and he had been arrested while out. Its so unbearable to sleep in our empty bed, to not have my other half. To feel my life falling apart because even in a room full of people I'm so alone without him. I don't know when he is getting out and I don't know how to go on without the only person who's taken my depression from my mother hemorrhaging to death in my lap 2 years ago away. I just don't know what to do.

What I have been doing, is making myself busy. It seems when i hang out with other people it just makes me feel worse. So im alone alot, but i try to read books, paint, take walks. It's almost been 2 months for me, and trust me it gets easier. It still hard as hell but it does get easier. It's also good to know other girls are going through the same thing. I know exactly how you feel. On top of that i jumped a fence and i ripped my palms off..had to get surgery. All with him being in there. Theres so much going on right now. You will be okay, try to think positive. Before i wasnt eating, couldnt move. I looked so sick, it took a physical toll. But im alot better now. I hope your boyfriend gets out soon, take care <3

My boyfriend has been in jail for about a month now, my lawyer says i can't even talk, visit, or write him. They are trying to charge him for something huge and hes innocent. I used to spend every waking moment with him, we are eachothers first love. We could finish eachothers sentences, laugh like crazy, talk for hours etc. Hes the love of my life, and im his. It's been so damn hard without him. The depression is killing me. I can't even cry anymore, i just stare off into the distance. That's the worst. Im a walking wreck, and i can't even let it out. He's all i think about, and nobody wants to hear it. Especially guys. I feel so alone, and he's really torn apart too. The only thing i can do is talk to his mom everyday and she tells me what he says. The pain is insane, i have never hit rock bottom like this before. It's like i can't enjoy anything anymore, im just this dead person who doesnt want to talk or have fun. Waking up is the hardest part, because i wonder if it was all i dream then i realize it was not. Now im finally crying writing this, but it is comforting to know that other women are going through the exact same thing. I just want a hug or to cry in someones arms. I miss him so much, i know when he get's out nothing will change. I'll hold it down for him, and he is waiting on me. Just the waiting is hard, it's like you can't live life anymore. Watching couples on the street...damn. Just remember everything does happen for a reason, god has a plan. No matter how ****** up it is, we will get our man back. Once he comes back we wont let him go. I know i wont...this sucks so much. Im always thinking "why us?" but it just happened. Stay strong, after reading all of your experiences, makes me feel better. We are not alone, I'll try to remember that everyday.

Hi I'm new here. Why can you talk to him.

Because when they arrested him they found cocaine and ****, a week later they charged me with it because i wouldnt talk to an investigator. wasnt even mine such bullshit. but apparently it would look bad if im still involved and all that, what my lawyer told me. but idc anymore i visit, talk and write to him constantly now.

I can truly relate. Sigh. Its really hard. We were planning on starting our family, getting married we were so happy and one day everything was ripped from my hands. He got 5 yrs 2.5 uk time. But we live in different countries and i cant even visit. Its killing me. Its a month now and i haven't heard a single word from him. Dont knw wat to do. Depressed

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If he's worth it the time apart with him will just make it insane when he's home my boyfriend and I started datin in jail he made me smile when I was In bad shape he gets lock down and sends someone to. Call and say good night ... I worry that maybe he just wanted to split me and my ex up but he's giving me strength hope and happiness I only got to visit once It was the best. 20 mins of my life since I saw him my release date may 16 keep ur chin up if it's meant to be he will be ravishing you when you come home and they can't see the girls in most jails unless it's court lol keep strong girl

My bf is n jail he's been back and forth since we known each other there's days I feel depressed lonely I'll separate myself from my friends I jus don't wanna be bother wit anyone it's hard on us we gotta stay string for them n show them we still love and care for them jus stay strong ma everything gonna be good

Hi, my boyfriend has been in jail before for only about a month and nothing in our relationship changed when he came home. He just got sentenced on Monday, and he has 160 days, which is 5 months. I can't write to him, visit him, or call him while he is there. It's so hard and i don't know what I'm going to do without him. But I don't think that he'd ever lose interest in me because we are so in love. And if you believe that your boyfriend is the one for you, don't give up hope. I honestly don't think that yours would lose any interest in you at all either. Write, call, and visit him as much as you can if you're able to! Keep your head up and just know that you will get through this, because everything passes. His time will be served and will be back home before you know it. Keeping you& anyone else with incarcerated other halves, in my prayers!

Why is it that u cant call etc? My bf have been sentenced 5 yrs. Its a month now since the sentence and i haven't heard a word from him. U have any idea why based on wat ur experiencing now. My bf and i dont live in the same country

My bf not long been out of jail about 8months I Wud say but last night he was took from me again! I went court this morning and found out he's going jail again!! I watched him get put in the big police van and the last thing he said was be there for me!! When he first went to jail I cudnt speak to him see him or get any letters from him! I was a mess when it came to 3days befor he was gonna be let out I get a phone call!! It was the best day of my life!! All I can say is don't give up on r bad boys!! We think the worst but we ain't got a clue how there feeling!! Wish you the best and remember it's not just about how ur feeling and thinking it's them inside to! To the ppl who go see there bf in jail ur so lucky I'm hoping this time we can talk, send letters and I can go see him!! And to all you that don't no you can now email ur lovers in jail!! Go google and type in email a prisoner :) it's amazing take care all and don't give up :)

I know how you feel , it's a really difficult situation for anyone to have to deal with , I've been with my partner for 3 years and he's been in custody for the past 6 nearly 7 months the trial was supposed to start in May and now has been adjourned to January so that's 14 months he will be in prison before the trial starts , I get to see him once a month for an hour as he is on basic, the most difficult part is when you see other people and you tend to remember all the memories you have with your loved one and wish that they were with you , if you love him then stand by him , being in there they need the support they can get and not many people choose or can stand by someone when they're in prison and I'm sure he will appreciate you being by his side, he doesn't get to call often as he's on basic but usually contacts his sister most of the time and I have to rely on her to find out how he is , it's really difficult with the limited amount of communication and I do feel alone and feel like I'm not able to talk to anyone who feels how I'm feeling as when I speak to his sister it comes across as my feelings being disregarded but I don't think people understand how difficult it is when your partner is inside esp when they mean the world to you , I've found that keeping my mind preoccupied helps a lot I try to keep myself as busy as I can to avoid having too much free time because I know if I don't I will be thinking about everything and it will only make it worse

My partner and i hace been together 10 months and in 3 weeks he goes to court for breaching his suspended sentence and he will proberyl go to jail for 14months. we love each other so much and im proberly pregnant bt to scared to take the test knwing i could be losing the love of my life for 14 months. im a very emotional person who grew up surrounded by abuse and has lived on my own since i was 18 but i dont know what i would do with out my boyfriend he has been my rock though out my toughest times and i feel i will lose my head when he goes to jail. He is a great person and is only going to jail for driving with no license. i dont no how to deal with it and feel that when he comes out our lives would have grown so far apart that it wont matter how much we love each other. ive cried my self to sleep for the past week knowing that i only have 3 weeks left, i cant eat cant sleep cant do any. i feel as if ive lost my heart

my fiance has been in jail since april 26th he got 30 days bit i know how you feel depressed not bein able to eat it sucks but its more hard for me cuz we have a son together but how can i make the days go by faster

Hi, my boyfriends been locked up for 2 weeks and his sentencing is in 2 weeks. hes either going to get his year (cuz he was on probation) , get released, and put on more probation, or house arrest...we have no idea, he is saying its 50/50 right now about whether or not he will get out. i guess it depends on the judge and his p.o. Ive been doinng everything i can. writing letters all the time and sending them out at least3 times a week. i put money on his canteen every week. im the only one helping him out with that stuff, but i put enough on so that we can talk at least once, sometimes twice a day for a half hour at a time. I am at every visit, im the only one signed up to visit him, twice a week for 45 minutes ( behind glass cuz he hasn't been sentenced yet) I too am feeling really depressed and trying to do things to get my mind off of it. but nothing seems to make me feel happy like that. we are both really nervous about court in a couple weeks and whatts going to happen Please if anyone has advice or just wants to talk let me know how your dealing

Hi I know this may seem easy to say but you got to look at the other side of the coin which is more positive or look at it with the glass half full caz I'm going through my man been in prison 3 years and has a lot more to do his appeals keep being denied and I dn't know when he will ever be home to me and it's starting to ware him down and break him that I feel like he is slowly drifting away from me caz he is juz seeing the negative around him every time a lil bright light tries to shine through. But pray, read your Bible and talk to the farther above but most of all enjoy the times you all are together ,cherish them and remember them but know that the time apart won't be forever unlike some other people. I feel your pain and know what you are going through.

My man has also been in jail for three weeks. At first it was very hard and I barley ate or slept but then I finally got to hear his voice again. We talk to each other everyday which makes things much easier. I also will get to see him once or twice a month. We have no idea what kind of time he may be looking at but hope to know in two to three weeks. To help me keep my mind off of it I go to any outing with my friends or family that I am invited to. It helps to stay busy.

If you really love him fight for him my boyfriend has been locked up for 3 years and I'm still here for him if you love him fight for you shouldn't care what other people think. Trust me he won't lose interest in you as long as you keep in contact with him through letters and visits. I have no support from my family but still I don't care. Keep yourself occupied go out with friends keep yourself occupied so you're not thinking about it all the time.

I don't care what people have to say I will stick by my bf through this time. I just don't know how I will do it. It has only been 1 week and today I have been a mess. You have done it for 3 years any advice?

my boyfriend is also in jail he recently got locked up around 3 weeks ago , youre lucky you get to see him . his visits are only for parents so i cant go , i feel so sad & depressed i really miss him he calls me atleast 3 times a week for about 5 to 10 minutes and he writes to me often , things happen for a reason everything will get better eventually . hes sentenced to a year to 5 years depending on the judge . im going to wait for him because i love him and i know he would also wait for me . its hard to go through this because you get really lonely however were not alone many women like myself have a boyfriend who is locked up but when they get released you'll feel more inlove because you will see how it feels to be without him , keep your head up as i am myself <3

I know how you feel,my fiance got sentenced on 4th April,just before my birthday. He's got 14 months may get parol in July though. I feel so lost. So broken. I have no family. He is my family. Im alone and I find out tomorrow if I'm even allowed too see him. It breaks my heart knowing he's in that place and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't sleep. I struggle to eat. I've only had one phone call since he's been gone. The letters help and I surround myself with his things. But nothing at all can make that lonely feeling go away. Can't wait too have him home :(( guess we've just got too stay strong. Because I know that he's already changing and hell be a better man when he comes out. The drugs will be gone and hell be clean. We can start our family. Just breaks my heart that there's nothing I can do but sit and wait :'(

To an exact T, this made me cry no one around me understands how I feels. To them it's like nothing happened:( I feel dead, I'm not interested in anything anymore. I don't have it in me to socialize or keep up a conversation with anyone. I feel broke:'( he left cuz we got in a fight, he got arrested right after I said some hurtful things to him. he might be in 4 months to 2 yrs! Whoever I talk to about it says dont wait around, or go out and have some fun he'll understand! Or some of his so call freinds have made advances his freinds on me! I'm so afraid that someone will start a rumor im sleeping around on him! so I wont talk to anyone I cant handle the negative feedback it gets me depressed! everything reminds me of him i hurt so bad! I feel like im the one being punished... I had a break down when I pulled out a lighter he gave me to hold on to, I had to have someone get rid of it. I'm gonna be here for him no matter what even with people trying to stuff my head with doubts that he was a man-***** and he will never settle for me and tons more but they arent gonna break me im here for him not matter what! But I need some support to... I have never read something that expessed so throughly I needed this I needed to remember im not alone advice anyone talk to me

My boyfriend is in jail as well and has been for about 15 months, youre lucky because you can see him. My boyfriend is in another province in their correction center and it sucks, I write him alot and he calls me once a week. Yes, im commited to him, no I havent cheated. Make new friends :) connect with other girls who are in the same situation. I miss him alot but you have to continue to live your life because he will be out soon.

My partner is in jail too and we have a child together and we've been together for five years. The transition and impact it caused made it difficult for me to move on. He was sentenced a week before xmas. So when the festive season came around it was painful. So it took me a month to realise.. He is in for while why should I waste anymore time being depressed and as devastating as it is theres nothing that we can do to change whats happened. You have lost a great part of you and its normal for us to grieve but in time you will overcome the fear of being lonely.
I saw him once a week for an hour too, writing letters is very effective. Β I get so excited when I recieve his letters. I suggest not to write anything that will get him or yourself upset. You want to keep your letters positive and something to look forward to. Is he allowed to make phone calls? My partner is able to make a few calls during the day just as long as there's enough funds. So maybe you can you help him with funds so he can call regularly.
My partner soon was transferred and now 2 and a half hours away. So incase if your bf does transfer in the future I want you to know that you are not alone.
Fortunately I have a lot of family friends who have been very supoortive and taking every step of the way with me.
I strongly reccomend that you keep your days busy dont give up on looking after yourself. I have made time for friends, I have girly catch ups and now that I have extra time to myself I take that advantage to do what ever makes me feel better about myself. Simplest things like going shopping, listening to music, enjoying long walks. Stay proactive its the key and only way you will get through this!
For me its been a couple of months now, I've become very independent and his letters play a major role to my positivity. I still yearn for my partner even when im happy or not.

I know you love him more than anything just dont forget to love yourself too and don't waste anymore time.

my boyfriend got sentenced to 16 months in prison yesterday...and iv done nothing but cry since. if you believe he is right for you then wait for him but ensure that you protect your soul. write to him and have him write back so that you both have things to read when you feel low or miss each other. im not sure how I am going to cope without my baby. its never going to be an easy thing for any of us who are experiencing this but we have each other for the support we need and require. im here for all of you if you ever want to talk and hopefully someone might be there for me too? <3

I know how it feels :( my boyfriend has been in jail for almost 3 months, and he has about 9 more months left :( I miss him so incredibly much. I think about him all the time and am constantly writing letters. Hopefully things get easier as time passes <3

My bf is also in jail inCheshire ct for burglary 1 hes been in there for almost 20 months already i cant go see him bcuz i have a stupid charge on my revord i put $on phone for jim to call but its craxy expensive and i write him everydsy i LOVE him obviously alot, its hard i really really want him home im depressed and lonely! Idk what to do he got offeted 3 years 7 yr probation in ct there's no good time on violent crimes so he has to do 85% of his time its sad i miss him do ******* muchr

what is he in jail for

she has a right to keep that information private and you shouldn't be asking such a personal question for her!!

cough cough lol

its inappropriate and rather rude tbh. she has the right to her own privacy. if she didn't state the reason why in her post then you shouldn't question

HI, my name is ashlee, my boyfriend is also in prison, and he has been in there over a month and is in for about 2 years, I know where your coming from when you say you're loosing interest in your daily activities and feeling depressed, but one thing I do to try to keep my mind off of the that is I work, and I try to hang out with my friends or I try to talk to someone about how I'm feeling. it is totally natural to cry about this, I cry all the time still, but I try to remember all the fun times we had together and I keep those good things in my mind.

I can't really relate to the woman who's boyfriends have been sentenced & convicted, but mine just recently got charged with armed robbery and we all know that that's a serious charge. I'm 3 months pregnant and scared to death I'm gonna have to raise our child alone. I love him so much and I've already cried a million times in the last 3 days. No phone call, no bail nothing. How do you women cope with this? I'm already falling to pieces

Do you have any support from family or friends?

My man was booked on may 10th so I also am in the early stages of this. He goes to his first court hearing tomorrow. He was arrested for aggravated assault 2&3 against me. Its so hard because I feel responsible even tho he has told me not to. He knows he messed up and takes the blame. I dont know what to expect or what is happening. I call the jail a million times a day for updates and they are so nice about it but its never the answer I want. Its even harder cuz hes 2 states away. We were on vacation when he was arrested. Flying home alone was so hard. Ive cried so much that I dont have tears anymore. Hes looking at possibly a year he says. I can email him for free but he cant email back and I dont have the money right now to put on his books so he cant even get a letter to me. Hes been calling his sister collect and giving her messages. Its so hard. I have to pack our home up and move because I cant afford it on my own. Im so scared and lost and just want the nightmare to end. Im so glad Im not alone in this. I can't believe we are even in this situation

I'm also dealing with depression because my boyfriend/father of my baby. Is in jail & has been even before our daughter was born. She was born June 14th of 2013 he has been locked up since 2 days after my bday April 9th. I've been talking to him & writting letters. I try to visit twice a week but, its hard to actually make it on the list before other ppl. It seems like lately we've been arguing alot. Making it hard for me to wanna talk to him. We've been through so much these last two years I've been questoning myself lately asking myself if I even wanna be with him because when I first found out I was PG he ended up leaving me all the way up until I had her. & maybe a week after I told him I was PG my older sister & him slept together.. I was so heartbroken when I found out I wanted nothing to do w/ either of em' but because he's the father of my daughter I tried making "us" work but now I don't know if I want to keep trying because he always finds a way to bring it up when we talk & I get pissed off & tell him to leave me alone even though I don't want that I was so hurt the 1st time I don't know if I can handle it if it happened again.. I need advice should I keep trying or just try to move on? ? Im so confused I don't know what to do or think anymore this month our daughter will be 7mths old.

i understand completly i have someone who has got half a year to go and il only see him once a month..make sure you send lots of letters recieve his calls aswell your so lucky to see him twice a week like i said a visit to him once a month..what i found to make it feel quicker is i made a calender and each day i cross off it helps me alot knowing its another day closer but i find it easier to feels like us woman are being punished at the same time..whatever you do support him thats mainly what he needs i also have my mother in jail so when i get down i have absolutly nobody close to talk to as there both serving time..all ypu wanna do is lock your door crawl into bed and cry (regular basis thing for me) and about your deppression i suffer with it too along with post traumatic stress disorder and insomnia i went to the doctors and spoke about it and hr helped me out referred me and stuff so if your able to try the doctors out..your going through a tough time and bound to feel down alot but stay strong and be there for him and yourself

my boyfriend has been in jail for two years we got another year and a half to go. he's in the pen and is only 20 ! you think 3 weeks is hard just wait sweetheart it get's harder. the years will go by quick you have to distract yourself not by partying though im in my 20's and i dont drink or any of that. it is very hard for a male to trust while he is locked up... men who are in jail can change there life around if they really want to some though won't my ex he's in jail for stabbing someone in the face my ex before him is in jail for murder but those are the **** that will never change. my man now he will and is changing ! people are going to judge you just be careful ...i do know people who have changed and are actually doing something with there life now . pro's and con's sweetheart

You're 17. You like to party and drink. I'd hate to be the jerk with the reason but, it sounds like you two aren't necessarily much for giving a **** about your future. Partying, drinking and jail time by 18... I know you are surrounded by what you think life is like but, there is way more to it. Go live life. I'd say you will get over it but, absence makes the heart grow fonder. He will likely not even come out the same person he was when he went in. You may not be the same person by the time he gets out. I'm not going to tell you what is going to happen because I do not know but, you have a chance to make it further in life now. He is not weighing you down with his poor decisions and prison record.