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Boyfriend In Jail

My boyfriend has been in jail for three weeks already it may not seem like a long time compared to a year and I would thought I would have got used to the fact he's gonna be in there for a while and I'll be strong enough to keep on with my life without him. However, things turned out different. I've gone visit him four times already and those have been the best days of my week, at home and school everything seems boring. I've been experiencing signs of depression since am losing interest in many of my daily activities. I'm the type of girl who'd love to go out and party, dance, drink, do good in school, go to the movies, you know, just have a good time...but things have turned different now. I find no interest in any of those things anymore and all I want to do lately is be home and wait for the next visit day to come where I could go see him even if its for just one hour. That hour means so much to me being able to look into his eyes tell him I miss him and I love him and hold hands, feel his lips against mine, see his smile and hear him laugh. I can't help crying every time I remember all the good moments we have. We've gone through so much, I see couples walking down the streets holding hands, and when I see two people kiss...I get this unexplainable feeling and I remember when I had that with him out here in the world. It all happened so quick and unexpected I know hes in there paying for something he did wrong...But it hurts and I just hope he comes out soon. Am trying my best to keep my head up and stay strong for him but it seems everyday that goes by my efforts decrease and I become weaker. Its not the same him being in there I only get to see him 2 times a week for just ONE HOUR. Thats nothing compared to the times we'd be iming each other online the whole day (on sidekicks) Or the moments we spend out exploring the world together. We've had our share of arguments but managed to work them out. He can't be there for me as how he was before because now...When am feeling down or going through a problem I have no one to go to...I became so attached to him I got myself separated from many people and lost many close friends...He became my only close friend but I dont regret doing that because he never left me alone and was there for me sometimes till 5 in the morning trying to make me feel better. Now...am lonely. When no ones around I cry, I wonder if he'll lose interest in me...get tired of me but feel like he has no other choice than to stick with me...Do you guys think this will happen? I feel theres other girls out here better for him...I mean theres no girls in jail so obviously he wont find interest in no guys...But I just feel he might get tired of me or am not good enough for him and I don't know...I think its worth waiting for him a year or maybe two...

Does someone have any ideas on how to deal with my depression problem?
Do you guys think he'll lose interest in me?
Is it worth waiting for him for one year?
I have so many questions unanswered.
My mind doesn't function as well lately...-_-
Help?
Any advices, ideas, comments?
=/
MiszOreo MiszOreo 16-18 307 Responses Jan 24, 2008

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My fiance was arrested Aug. 19 and he got sentenced 2 weeks later for 4 yrs. but those first weeks where really hard because i hadnt talked or seen him at all only the first 3 days i was able to talk to him for 15 min or so. but once he got sentenced i didnt hear from him until Sep18 when he was finally housed so i do know what you all are talking about it is hard when you have gotten used to seeing that one person everyday and then one day hes not there anymore it truly hurts that all you can do is find a way to distract your self i ended up getting a new job to kill as many hours of the day to be able to save as much money as possible so when he does come home we are not struggling and he can be confortable in his own home thats my advice to you distract your self as my fiance say do what you have to to live your life because no matter what we are both serving this time i maybe be in here and you arre out there but we are together in this we both are hurting all i ask is to respect your self and to respect me as well. and that is truly all we can do respect each other. it will be hard on some days but take the time to dwell in it then keep on going dont hold it in thats not good for you. like me fiance got transfered and i wont be hearing from him for at least 4 months thats so hard i was only able to hear from him for 3 weeks everyday so i cherished to calls everyday because you never now when the next one will be. we need to be strong and pray to god that your man is doing well. write to him as much as you can if possible.

My boyfriend was just recently arrested two days ago...its really taken a toll on me...weve been best friends for two years and have been together for a year. He is my soul mate...he helped me get and stay clean from my nasty habits...weve been living with each other since the day he asked me out....its hard going from being with the love of my life every single day for the past 379 days together...to having to sleep alone, well I haven't slept for the past two nights and its very very upsetting for me...he has court on the 14 and I'm praying to god every night that they don't take him away from me....please any advice on how to cope with this would be much obliged.

I had this happen in the last few weeks. On October 14th, I found out that we were expecting; my first, his 3rd. On Oct 18th (Sweetest Day), we were pulled over, held at gun point, and he was arrested on a felony capias warrant from 2007 while we were 5 minutes away from a fall festival. He was meeting my parents and sister for the first time then we were telling everyone the good news. He never made it. At this point, I don't know what to do. The shock & humiliation of telling my family directly afterward was one thing. But now I'm left to take care of everything, myself/our baby, all the logistics that he can't tend to. I need help. Someone, please help me.

I understand what you are going through. My boyfriend has been in jail for a month and we don't know the outcome yet. We have been together 15 years and I feel my life is gone. My visits and calls keep me going.

if the love is real you should know boo im going through the same thing and if its real the love never goes change ETC... be strong

Reading all these responds give me some hope, my love has been down 4 months. He was sentenced to one year in prison. I get to visit and sometimes call but I can't help but think if I'm bringing myself down because of his mistakes. We've been together for a long time but this is his second time in prison, idk if I should just move on to someone who has some real goals In life or wait and see if maybe this time he'll get his life together. I'm in my 20's in college, my friends tell me I should find someone with my same goals but I can't help but love my bf way too much to give up. Any advice?

My boyfriend went to jail about a week ago. I'm away at school and he called me to tell me that he was about to get arrested and that he'll see me soon. My heart dropped and all I could do was cry. We recently started dating at the beginning of the Summer, but we are so close to each other already. It's already hard enough being away from him while I'm at school, but now it's going to be even harder. I know I'll talk to him like once a day, and see him once a month. Now we are waiting on the court date to see what his sentencing will be. I know I'm at school, but that's stressful enough. Knowing that he's in there and I'm out here is killing me. Anybody have any advice on how I can cope with the situation?

Hey girl!! Im sorry to hear that! And yes it is a very difficult thing to go through! My boyfriend will be in jail for two years in December already:( and he still has a couple to go! I must say its the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with in life! No one understands unless that person is going through the same thing!! The best thing to do really is to keep yourself busy! It sounds hard and not helpful maybe but it definitely is the way to go to keep your mind busy and away from so much pain for at least a bit! I was like that the first few months i cried myself to sleep:( every night! But now things have gotten better and i get really sad on just my emotional days (time of the month) lol.. With time you will cope with the situation and get used to it! I really hope he doesn't get a lot of time and wish you the best!!:) u can talk to me if you ever feel like you need to! XOXO take care girly!

I just commented on the other girl post I'll just repost it here- I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and he has been dealing with legal issues for over three years. This month he was sent away, October 6th and it was the hardest thing. I couldn't be there at his sentencing because I had an exam in university. He ended up being sentenced to 5 months in jail however he is appealing the decision. He is only going to have to serve 100 days on good behaviour so he will be back into my life the middle of January. He has been in holding this hole time 4 and a half hours away and they don't allow phone calls because I've tried and they told me I can't until he gets transferred. Also they only transfer people once a week, and they don't know when its going to happen because the place they are transferring him too full. I'm so upset, I just want to talk to him and know he still loves me.I know he does love me but the fact of not talking to him or seeing him. I know this is just for a short time but it feels so hurtful, I just feel lost. I'm trying really hard to stay on tract with school but he's all I can think about. …… Anyway you seam to know what its like to deal with this, I know mine isn't as long as a time to wait and you have years. however I wouldn't mind having something to talk to.

Hello there!:) now that is horrible!! I cant imagine not talking to my bf at all! I would go crazy!! He only gets certain amount of minutes per month soo he calls me every other day for only 15 min seems soo short! And yes even though your boyfriend's time isn't as much as mines i still know what ur going through and its very hard! I've been depressed for like the past two days! It gets to me here and there i try to focus on other things but since im not working right now cant keep myself as busy:( is he in federal or state prision? Im sure he still loves you!:) this is when they need us the most! And its awesome that ur willing i wait for him! Your showing him how much u love him! And he will appreciate this his whole life:) just think about how this will only make you guys stronger! In a couple months you will have him with you! Thats amazing! I would love to talk to you too! Were going through the same thing!!

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and he has been dealing with legal issues for over three years. This month he was sent away, October 6th and it was the hardest thing. I couldn't be there at his sentencing because I had an exam in university. He ended up being sentenced to 5 months in jail however he is appealing the decision. He is only going to have to serve 100 days on good behaviour so he will be back into my life the middle of January. He has been in holding this hole time 4 and a half hours away and they don't allow phone calls because I've tried and they told me I can't until he gets transferred. Also they only transfer people once a week, and they don't know when its going to happen because the place they are transferring him too full. I'm so upset, I just want to talk to him and know he still loves me.I know he does love me but the fact of not talking to him or seeing him. I know this is just for a short time but it feels so hurtful, I just feel lost. I'm trying really hard to stay on tract with school but he's all I can think about.

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My boyfriend has been in jail for 3 months, has 8 left. Feels crazy without him, but I think I'll be fine due to the fact he didn't get much time. By this time next year he will be home. Stay strong, don't give up on your daily activities because that will make you focus more on your loneliness rather than letting time pass by. Good luck!

My boyfriend has been in jail for about a month but he hasn't been sentenced or actually charged with anything. He was kicked out of his mental health court for some bullshit reason, so basically he could have his probation revoked and be in prison for 5 years, or nothing at all could happen. Not knowing what's going to happen is driving me crazy. I see him once a week and write him but some days I miss him more than usual and I cry because I can't touch him. I don't want to be with anyone else, I love him so much and I'm really scared. I could wait a year for him, but anything more than that... I'm not sure if I could keep my sanity... I only see him through a screen, which sucks, but every time I see him or get a letter from him its like everything is okay. When I feel sad, I read his letters or listen to music. Going to hang out helps a lot too. Don't surround yourself with people who will try to tell you what you should do, you want to be around people who will comfort you. Do what you want to do. The perfect guy isn't prince charming, he's not going to come on a white horse and whisk you away. Sometimes the perfect guy is the one who doesn't seem perfect at all.

i understand you so much but if you love him like you say you do then stick by his side because if you don't you will just end up regretting it. My boyfriends currently locked up as well and i don't get to see him twice a week, actually i only see him once but anyways just make sure you support him and stick by his side and he'll realize that you are the best out there for him. stay strong and good luck!
ps: my boyfriend is facing 6 months and he has an upcoming charge which is way bigger than this one so I'm sure it'll all add up to more than a year and regardless I'm deciding to stay by his side.

My Boyfriend has been in Federal Prison for 4 years already with 1 year left. Its extremely hard considering they moved him from Missouri where we both lived to California. So I haven't even seen his face other than pictures. He is only allowed 300 minutes a month on the phone && they can only have 15minute calls at a time. He can email but with the screenings its almost impossible to have a conversation. && he has a limited amount of minutes on that too. But I know I have to stay strong for when he comes home && save damn near every penny I make to make sure he has eeverything he needs when he comes home September 18 2015. Only advice I can give, is Dont lose yourself while he is gone. Do what you have to do for you && your rrelationship.

I'm going through the same thing right now, I feel the exact same way, I'm not even allowed to visit my boyfriend because we're both under 18 and its the worst feeling. I have no friends to be there for me anymore, and I always feel so lonely, but i promised I'd wait for him so hopefully I make it through

My son's father has been away for two weeks and it feels like a years. I have terrible anxiety as if I was the one locked up and I can't stop crying. Stress is effecting my health now. Any advice

Try to think about your son, stay strong for him as well as his father. It may not seem like it, but if you distract yourself time flies! Before you know it he'll be home.

My boyfriend has been in jail for 6 months and the day came which they sentenced him to 10 years in state prison I feel so sad I just want to go to sleep and wake up in 10 years when he is free I feel so sad I want to give up I don't want to go to school or nothing I have the support of my parents I am just 19 years old and I hate that my boyfriend has to go through that

I feel the same way but I promised him forever so I'm sticking with my promise but I sit on the couch all day and just cry my eyes out I wish I could talk to someone who is going thu the samething

Same here having your other half ripped away from you is the worst feeling in the world. Its been a month how can i possibly survive 4 more :(

I know how you feel, I want to be with my man for a long time. And his currently in jail right now, he only has 2 weeks left but he has to go to another county because he also has another warrent there so he might be in jail again for another month. It's tough but all I do is pray for him cry every night and see him on visiting hours as much as I can.

Hey i just joined am here reading all the post trying to find someone who might understand what am also going though. Am i can totally relate to you.

My bf have been sentenced to 5 yr in prison in the uk. Lucky there time is served as half the sentenance.

I almost a month now and i haven't heard a word from him i have sent numerous of msg with is brother and son but he haven't sent any msg with them for me.

The problem is we dont live in the same country and it very different for me to visit. I love him dearly. I have cried so many times. The distance and not hearing from me is killing me.

I am feeling the same way. Mine just got 2-4 yesturday. He only just went upstairs where he cant make free calls n my car went down the same day he went to court. I have an autistic son who only can communicate with him. I have no one n

Hi I know what you're going through but you have to stay busy otherwise it will bring you down you also got to read your Bible and pray to the Father above some things can only be changed by prayer and fasting but you got to believe and expect God to move as long as you are sincere and whole hearted to Him.I know it's not easy caz I'm going through it too n I FM's know when he will be home.

I wish I knew what to do to, Hell it's been 4 days and I'm completely falling apart. It was I woke up and he had been arrested while out. Its so unbearable to sleep in our empty bed, to not have my other half. To feel my life falling apart because even in a room full of people I'm so alone without him. I don't know when he is getting out and I don't know how to go on without the only person who's taken my depression from my mother hemorrhaging to death in my lap 2 years ago away. I just don't know what to do.

What I have been doing, is making myself busy. It seems when i hang out with other people it just makes me feel worse. So im alone alot, but i try to read books, paint, take walks. It's almost been 2 months for me, and trust me it gets easier. It still hard as hell but it does get easier. It's also good to know other girls are going through the same thing. I know exactly how you feel. On top of that i jumped a fence and i ripped my palms off..had to get surgery. All with him being in there. Theres so much going on right now. You will be okay, try to think positive. Before i wasnt eating, couldnt move. I looked so sick, it took a physical toll. But im alot better now. I hope your boyfriend gets out soon, take care <3

My boyfriend has been in jail for about a month now, my lawyer says i can't even talk, visit, or write him. They are trying to charge him for something huge and hes innocent. I used to spend every waking moment with him, we are eachothers first love. We could finish eachothers sentences, laugh like crazy, talk for hours etc. Hes the love of my life, and im his. It's been so damn hard without him. The depression is killing me. I can't even cry anymore, i just stare off into the distance. That's the worst. Im a walking wreck, and i can't even let it out. He's all i think about, and nobody wants to hear it. Especially guys. I feel so alone, and he's really torn apart too. The only thing i can do is talk to his mom everyday and she tells me what he says. The pain is insane, i have never hit rock bottom like this before. It's like i can't enjoy anything anymore, im just this dead person who doesnt want to talk or have fun. Waking up is the hardest part, because i wonder if it was all i dream then i realize it was not. Now im finally crying writing this, but it is comforting to know that other women are going through the exact same thing. I just want a hug or to cry in someones arms. I miss him so much, i know when he get's out nothing will change. I'll hold it down for him, and he is waiting on me. Just the waiting is hard, it's like you can't live life anymore. Watching couples on the street...damn. Just remember everything does happen for a reason, god has a plan. No matter how ****** up it is, we will get our man back. Once he comes back we wont let him go. I know i wont...this sucks so much. Im always thinking "why us?" but it just happened. Stay strong, after reading all of your experiences, makes me feel better. We are not alone, I'll try to remember that everyday.

Hi I'm new here. Why can you talk to him.

Because when they arrested him they found cocaine and ****, a week later they charged me with it because i wouldnt talk to an investigator. wasnt even mine such bullshit. but apparently it would look bad if im still involved and all that, what my lawyer told me. but idc anymore i visit, talk and write to him constantly now.

I can truly relate. Sigh. Its really hard. We were planning on starting our family, getting married we were so happy and one day everything was ripped from my hands. He got 5 yrs 2.5 uk time. But we live in different countries and i cant even visit. Its killing me. Its a month now and i haven't heard a single word from him. Dont knw wat to do. Depressed

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If he's worth it the time apart with him will just make it insane when he's home my boyfriend and I started datin in jail he made me smile when I was In bad shape he gets lock down and sends someone to. Call and say good night ... I worry that maybe he just wanted to split me and my ex up but he's giving me strength hope and happiness I only got to visit once It was the best. 20 mins of my life since I saw him my release date may 16 keep ur chin up if it's meant to be he will be ravishing you when you come home and they can't see the girls in most jails unless it's court lol keep strong girl

My bf is n jail he's been back and forth since we known each other there's days I feel depressed lonely I'll separate myself from my friends I jus don't wanna be bother wit anyone it's hard on us we gotta stay string for them n show them we still love and care for them jus stay strong ma everything gonna be good

Hi, my boyfriend has been in jail before for only about a month and nothing in our relationship changed when he came home. He just got sentenced on Monday, and he has 160 days, which is 5 months. I can't write to him, visit him, or call him while he is there. It's so hard and i don't know what I'm going to do without him. But I don't think that he'd ever lose interest in me because we are so in love. And if you believe that your boyfriend is the one for you, don't give up hope. I honestly don't think that yours would lose any interest in you at all either. Write, call, and visit him as much as you can if you're able to! Keep your head up and just know that you will get through this, because everything passes. His time will be served and will be back home before you know it. Keeping you& anyone else with incarcerated other halves, in my prayers!

Why is it that u cant call etc? My bf have been sentenced 5 yrs. Its a month now since the sentence and i haven't heard a word from him. U have any idea why based on wat ur experiencing now. My bf and i dont live in the same country

My bf not long been out of jail about 8months I Wud say but last night he was took from me again! I went court this morning and found out he's going jail again!! I watched him get put in the big police van and the last thing he said was be there for me!! When he first went to jail I cudnt speak to him see him or get any letters from him! I was a mess when it came to 3days befor he was gonna be let out I get a phone call!! It was the best day of my life!! All I can say is don't give up on r bad boys!! We think the worst but we ain't got a clue how there feeling!! Wish you the best and remember it's not just about how ur feeling and thinking it's them inside to! To the ppl who go see there bf in jail ur so lucky I'm hoping this time we can talk, send letters and I can go see him!! And to all you that don't no you can now email ur lovers in jail!! Go google and type in email a prisoner :) it's amazing take care all and don't give up :)

I know how you feel , it's a really difficult situation for anyone to have to deal with , I've been with my partner for 3 years and he's been in custody for the past 6 nearly 7 months the trial was supposed to start in May and now has been adjourned to January so that's 14 months he will be in prison before the trial starts , I get to see him once a month for an hour as he is on basic, the most difficult part is when you see other people and you tend to remember all the memories you have with your loved one and wish that they were with you , if you love him then stand by him , being in there they need the support they can get and not many people choose or can stand by someone when they're in prison and I'm sure he will appreciate you being by his side, he doesn't get to call often as he's on basic but usually contacts his sister most of the time and I have to rely on her to find out how he is , it's really difficult with the limited amount of communication and I do feel alone and feel like I'm not able to talk to anyone who feels how I'm feeling as when I speak to his sister it comes across as my feelings being disregarded but I don't think people understand how difficult it is when your partner is inside esp when they mean the world to you , I've found that keeping my mind preoccupied helps a lot I try to keep myself as busy as I can to avoid having too much free time because I know if I don't I will be thinking about everything and it will only make it worse

My partner and i hace been together 10 months and in 3 weeks he goes to court for breaching his suspended sentence and he will proberyl go to jail for 14months. we love each other so much and im proberly pregnant bt to scared to take the test knwing i could be losing the love of my life for 14 months. im a very emotional person who grew up surrounded by abuse and has lived on my own since i was 18 but i dont know what i would do with out my boyfriend he has been my rock though out my toughest times and i feel i will lose my head when he goes to jail. He is a great person and is only going to jail for driving with no license. i dont no how to deal with it and feel that when he comes out our lives would have grown so far apart that it wont matter how much we love each other. ive cried my self to sleep for the past week knowing that i only have 3 weeks left, i cant eat cant sleep cant do any. i feel as if ive lost my heart

my fiance has been in jail since april 26th he got 30 days bit i know how you feel depressed not bein able to eat it sucks but its more hard for me cuz we have a son together but how can i make the days go by faster

Hi, my boyfriends been locked up for 2 weeks and his sentencing is in 2 weeks. hes either going to get his year (cuz he was on probation) , get released, and put on more probation, or house arrest...we have no idea, he is saying its 50/50 right now about whether or not he will get out. i guess it depends on the judge and his p.o. Ive been doinng everything i can. writing letters all the time and sending them out at least3 times a week. i put money on his canteen every week. im the only one helping him out with that stuff, but i put enough on so that we can talk at least once, sometimes twice a day for a half hour at a time. I am at every visit, im the only one signed up to visit him, twice a week for 45 minutes ( behind glass cuz he hasn't been sentenced yet) I too am feeling really depressed and trying to do things to get my mind off of it. but nothing seems to make me feel happy like that. we are both really nervous about court in a couple weeks and whatts going to happen Please if anyone has advice or just wants to talk let me know how your dealing

Hi I know this may seem easy to say but you got to look at the other side of the coin which is more positive or look at it with the glass half full caz I'm going through my man been in prison 3 years and has a lot more to do his appeals keep being denied and I dn't know when he will ever be home to me and it's starting to ware him down and break him that I feel like he is slowly drifting away from me caz he is juz seeing the negative around him every time a lil bright light tries to shine through. But pray, read your Bible and talk to the farther above but most of all enjoy the times you all are together ,cherish them and remember them but know that the time apart won't be forever unlike some other people. I feel your pain and know what you are going through.

My man has also been in jail for three weeks. At first it was very hard and I barley ate or slept but then I finally got to hear his voice again. We talk to each other everyday which makes things much easier. I also will get to see him once or twice a month. We have no idea what kind of time he may be looking at but hope to know in two to three weeks. To help me keep my mind off of it I go to any outing with my friends or family that I am invited to. It helps to stay busy.

If you really love him fight for him my boyfriend has been locked up for 3 years and I'm still here for him if you love him fight for you shouldn't care what other people think. Trust me he won't lose interest in you as long as you keep in contact with him through letters and visits. I have no support from my family but still I don't care. Keep yourself occupied go out with friends keep yourself occupied so you're not thinking about it all the time.

I don't care what people have to say I will stick by my bf through this time. I just don't know how I will do it. It has only been 1 week and today I have been a mess. You have done it for 3 years any advice?