I've Never Felt So Alone

People make bad decisions and always have consequences to pay, in one way or another. You look at people who do bad things as stupid and quite often find yourself asking 'why would someone do that' ... but when it's someone who you love and care about, you hope they don't have to suffer the consequences and tend to ignore the dumb choice they made. I fell in love almost a year and a half ago. My boyfriend had made some bad choices and I never really thought the day would come where I would be sitting where i'm at, writing what i'm writing about. The love of my life is sitting in a cold prison almost eight hours away from me. After sitting in county for six months I hoped and prayed he would come up on probabtion and not have any extra time besides the time already served. WRONG. My baby got four years. Of course, with most of the peoples sentences, they only do half of the time. He comes up for parole in May 2013... on the day of my birthday. Yes, that would be the best gift ... but that's a year and a half of me being without the only person in my life who has my heart. The only person who I want to be with emotionally and physically ... and he has been taken away from me. I can't be with the person I love and it's not even by choice. I know a lot of you reading this can relate ... doesn't it just make you sick? It does me, to my stomache. I've cried so much, I'm dried out, but I stay strong for him, for us. Men in jail need support because time drags for them... it flys for us. Well, in a way. I keep my head up for him, because I was there before he went ... I was in love with him before he went in there. Hold your men down ... yes, they put theirselves there but at the end of the day... they say through thick and thin right? I'll be here for mines through all of this, I'll never leave his side. This is the hardest thing i've been through in my life but we're both going through it. Don't let anyone tell you you're stupid for sticking by his side, it's your life and if that's what your heart is saying ... don't let anyone tell you any different. Don't stop living but remember the love you have for that person. Look at it as being a bump in the road. Real love can conquor anything. You may have to see them through a glass and only hear their voice every now and then ... but there are ways to keep the spark alive. Intimate letters and appropriate sexy pictures help me and mines do this. It isn't the real thing but you have to make do. Just keep your head up and stand by him ... if it's real it's real .... you'll get through it.

moeemoee moeemoee
18-21, F
5 Responses Jan 3, 2012

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I feel you on everything i'm going through it right now... its been 9months without him now and he wont be here with me until December 28th 2014, unless he gets bail in 2013 August but i'm just staying strong.. I've never felt so lonely before.. and i'm not leaving

my fiance was caught last night.. i'm fighting each and every pain i'm in.. i have no more tears to shed just hope things will not be too hard on him/us.. i love him so much. :'(((((

Your so right hun, if you love your man enough yous can get throught anything together. its takes alot of work and the pain will never get easier but its about being strong. its such a rollercoaster some good & bad days, but i am determined 2 do this, i will beat this and i will be there the whole time ready and waiting for the day he will b back in my arms! i still have ten and a half months 2 get through i kno it won't b easy but i do have the faith 2 beileve and make this work. time can't hold us seperate forever and ur day will come same as mine! so keep strong chick, keep that head held high :)

My bf went to jail 3 weeks ago. He is waiting to be sentenced but he keeps getting remanded. We have no idea what kind of time he is looking at :( he is up on 3 assault charges, 2 forcible confinement charges and a bunch of breaches so I think he is going to be locked up for a long time :( we just had a baby 5 weeks ago and he is missing so much of her life :'( I love him and I plan on waiting for him for as long as I have to but its killing me to not have him at home. I feel so broken without him <3. I honestly don't know how to get through this and stay strong for him when everything is falling apart :(

I understand how you feel, but i'm not going to sit here and tell you how much time he might get. It all depends on how serious the crimes were and his criminal history... the DA and judge play a huge role too. Does he call? write? That helps alot. I know with children you can probably get contact visitation with him having a kid... it all depends on where he's at. This is the thoughest part to get through... once he gets sentenced, it's a little easier because you have a date to look forward to. I'm sure he'll get credit for time served. &amp; most sentences they do half in and half out. Just do a lot of praying... &amp; it's okay to write intimate letters, that's all we as females can do for them... &amp; pictures. When you love someone in jail... you have to sometimes be strong for them, and your relationship. They tend to be mean and mines has made me cry a couple of times but you just have to remember their in the looking at the same four walls everyday... the same MEN everyday... that **** gets old. Yeah, they put theirselves there... but as a 'down *****' you have to stick this out with your man... no matter how hard it gets. Just prepare yourself girl... but just remember everything happens for a reason... &amp; yall will get through it.