I've Never Felt So Alone
People make bad decisions and always have consequences to pay, in one way or another. You look at people who do bad things as stupid and quite often find yourself asking 'why would someone do that' ... but when it's someone who you love and care about, you hope they don't have to suffer the consequences and tend to ignore the dumb choice they made. I fell in love almost a year and a half ago. My boyfriend had made some bad choices and I never really thought the day would come where I would be sitting where i'm at, writing what i'm writing about. The love of my life is sitting in a cold prison almost eight hours away from me. After sitting in county for six months I hoped and prayed he would come up on probabtion and not have any extra time besides the time already served. WRONG. My baby got four years. Of course, with most of the peoples sentences, they only do half of the time. He comes up for parole in May 2013... on the day of my birthday. Yes, that would be the best gift ... but that's a year and a half of me being without the only person in my life who has my heart. The only person who I want to be with emotionally and physically ... and he has been taken away from me. I can't be with the person I love and it's not even by choice. I know a lot of you reading this can relate ... doesn't it just make you sick? It does me, to my stomache. I've cried so much, I'm dried out, but I stay strong for him, for us. Men in jail need support because time drags for them... it flys for us. Well, in a way. I keep my head up for him, because I was there before he went ... I was in love with him before he went in there. Hold your men down ... yes, they put theirselves there but at the end of the day... they say through thick and thin right? I'll be here for mines through all of this, I'll never leave his side. This is the hardest thing i've been through in my life but we're both going through it. Don't let anyone tell you you're stupid for sticking by his side, it's your life and if that's what your heart is saying ... don't let anyone tell you any different. Don't stop living but remember the love you have for that person. Look at it as being a bump in the road. Real love can conquor anything. You may have to see them through a glass and only hear their voice every now and then ... but there are ways to keep the spark alive. Intimate letters and appropriate sexy pictures help me and mines do this. It isn't the real thing but you have to make do. Just keep your head up and stand by him ... if it's real it's real .... you'll get through it.