I Can't Function Without Him....

I have been with my boyfriend for the past 6 years. We recently got engaged in November of 2007. He has been on probation since 2004 for a DUI. Since then he has had 3 probation violations. One for a dirty UA, two he got an MIC, and three he ran from the cops for over a year. On August 4th 2007, he had an accident at work. He worked for a company that set and transported mobile homes. He was underneath the mobile home then the jacks gave out. The house crushed his lower body. Breaking and fracturing his pelvic area in a lot of places. On August 15 2007, I gave birth to our first child. A baby girl. It didn't take him long to start moving around. At first he had to use a wheel chair, then a walker. After awhile he didn't need either. But is still in a lot of pain. He had a bunch of court dates through out November and December. His lawyer some how kept putting them off. In March of 2008, his last court date, didn't go so well. The judge sentenced him to two weeks house arrest, 2 months jail, then 3 1/2 months house arrest. Need I mention that one week of house arrest costs $100 bucks. He had to turn himself in March 31st. They moved him to a jail 3 1/2 hours away from where I live. Since his accident he has been getting work mans comp. But since he is in jail now he doesn't get it. So I am left without my boyfriend, without money, and having to raise my daughter by myself. Yeah its only 2 months, but it feels like an eternity. I've been trying to write him as much as I can. He cant write me as much though. An envelope costs him 2 dollars. And I cant afford to put a whole lot of money on his books every week. I can barely manage to get there every week to see him. Gas prices here are ridiculous $3.49 a gallon. The last time I went to see him it took me a total of 70 dollars to get there an back with gas. And I put 50 dollars on his books. Thats 120 dollars just to see him for an hour! I'm going crazy without him. I have no one to talk to now that hes gone. I dont know how much longer i can deal with this. I cry all the time, I get bad mood swings. I just dont know what to do...I need some one to talk to ...

missashshalee missashshalee
18-21, F
3 Responses Apr 25, 2008

Trust me I know how you how you feel ,My boyfriend of 16 years has been in jail for one year and he doesnt get out untill march31st 2011 SO I have been dying for a hole year without him and I still have one more year to go ,At least for the first 8 months we could talk on the phone everyday but now they changed the phone system in the jails and he cant call canada from the states so i havent talked to him for 2 moths now,I,m serpusly ripping my hair out of my head I have to learn to deal with this ,He is my hole world and hes in there for somthing thaqt he didnt even do and I feel so bad ..The one thing that i am excited for is that on april 24th i get to go see him for the first time ,See its 6 hours from me so I havent been able to have the money to go see him because i send him money every month for his conivecery so that he can eat better then i can, I feel like im doing the time with him ,I moved from New york to toronto when he got locked up just so i could be closer to him cause its was 9 hours from there.I feel so alone soo sad I cry all the time and I know that somepeople might say to me why would you wait 2 years for someone and im like omg hes m,y life my world my everything and its like noone understands me.I just think I really need to talk to people that are going threw the same thing as me because they understand what its like and its really hard to do this somtimes i just want to die!!!!!

I know how you feel, it sucks. Plus you wind up spending all your money becuase you mis them so much. It $25 to $50 just to put money on my cell phone for calls! Just remember that your strong enough to handle whatever life throws at you.

you can always talk to me hun, i have a little boy, my husband is at home, well when not at work obviously, but i would always be more than happy to talk, i dont know if you have msn but if so i can give you my addie. <br />
it may be short but it doesnt make it any easier i couldnt bare to be away from my husband, so i can understand how you feel, just think he will be home soon, and keep busy, at least that way the time will go all the quicker. <br />
well if you want to talk just let me know hunny