*sigh*

So it has been 9 months already...I miss him so much it hurts. We have a beautiful 5 month old son, whose birth he obviously missed. He got to hold him for the first time last Sunday. I still have not been approved to visit him, but we talk almost every day. I'm so lost without him. He was my best friend, my confidant, and my lover. I can't believe this had to happen to us. We never thought that we would not be able to share the experience of our 1st child being born. It feels so unreal. To go from waking up next to him every morning, to now waking up next to his son every morning, but no him. I thank God for our son because he is the only thing that gives me the strength to not break down. I close my eyes and fantasize about him being home. I may drive past certain spots and have a flashback of us together. But I am remaining strong and taking this as a learning and growing experience. Our love is only getting stronger. 15 months left before my life is pure bliss. I can't wait until the day I can wake up and see my son AND his daddy laying in bed next to me :)