Missing My Everything, More Than Anything

I'm not going to write a huge blog here but let me get you into the basics. I've been with my boyfriend for about 4years, He's been everything to me ...when people say "their my other half" personally he's my whole. My boyfriend and I were inseparable yes we argued a lot at times but If you truly love someone you'll fight believe me, but we didn't have your first fight until about 2years into our relationship. Anyways fast forward my boyfriend was incarcerated April 2012 because of a crime his friend committed(who looks very much like him, so i was told I personally don't see it) anyways now he's doing the time, Not looking at release until Dec 28th 2014 unless he makes bail in Aug 2013.

It's been 9months without him and i've been supporting him 100% in everything, if he needed money for canteen i said "how much?", He needed his Box done(clothing, shoes, tv, ect.) i said " i'll have it sent out by next week". I did it all and i've been strong this long but now i'm feeling the loneliness, they're night I can't sleep and just stay up writing to him until I can't write no more. You can say i'm young (20) but if you seen our life together the people trying to ruin our relationship, people we shut out you would call us the married couple like everyone else does. I'm just here to ask ladies what do you when your lonely?, I don't resort to talking to males like some women do, I'm too scared that if I do the guilt will eat me alive and i rather not have anything hidden from him... SO LADIES WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR feeling Lonely? who do you talk to?, we all have those friends who are tired of listening so what do you do!!??
SailingSouls SailingSouls
18-21, F
5 Responses Dec 14, 2012

I keep myself busy with friends n family as much as I can!My job consumes a lot of my time though so I really only am lonely when I get home at night but by then I'm too tired n I pass out quick lol! Umm I also spend time painting n drawing! Its one of my favorite hobbies n I find that it helps me release a lot of stress n makes ´╗┐the hours fly by! If I have a big art/canvas project I'm working on sometimes it takes days to complete, so it helps because I keep my focus on that n it distracts me from the lonely/sad thoughts. If you have any hobbies/ crafts that you r into maybe look into it! Best of luck:)

Right now I'm okay because I just got approved for weekend visits and I have my first one in about 3weeks that should make time fly :)

Weekend visits = they give you like a townhouse for you and your boyfriend to stay in alone for 3days.

Wow OMG that's awesome!! Where is this at??

In Canada .

thats wassup they def got a different set of laws there! Wish we did:)

It takes a lot of work to get those visit though. You have to be common law and have prove of your relationship and living together before enprisonment, also you have to do a number of visits behind the glass and the touching visits under watch. So it took me 1yr.

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Honestly, what i've learned is sometimes you just need to let it out.
Give yourself some alone time, and just cry. Watch sappy movies, cuddle with a stuffed animal, and miss him.
But always remember, the day he finally gets out. And you guys are reunited,
It'll be worth it.
That first touch, after so long, will be speechless.

Allll of our relationships, if we make it till their release date, will be so much stronger since you've stayed by their side.
put in as much effort to stay strong, as you do love him.
That's how you're going to get through this.

Wow I understand what you are going threw sometimes I feel like I'm the only one in this world going threw this because No one understand why I just start crying because I don't have No one here to me when something goes wrong and say babes it will be okay n we will get threw it or just have him n the bed or can't call him like babes come home I miss him so bad that sometimes I feel my heart is so broke n it hurts.... I need him right now but I can't let him deep down right now I'm weak because I have him to think I'm strong but honestly I'm not

Sorry for the late reply, but i've been busy with my hubby's Family and Christmas. I understand how you feel 100% but you have to be strong. He's trying to be strong for you, also show he's strong himself while other inmate fill his head with negative thoughts, for examples "your girlfriend his hanging around some dude named "John Doe" . Just try and stay strong and think positive for him and talk about all the future plans y'all have together. but keep me update okay hunn. xoxo ;;

This is my first time using this kind of site which I've resorted to in hopes to find some comfort in talking to others with similar situations. I have no idea how to cope with my situation and you're pretty much in the same ! Your partner has been away for 9 months how have you coped ?! Mine has only been gone five weeks and I'm going crazy I don't know how I can handle another 17 months. Ugh

I keep busy and stay positive, I don't put myself in situation that I might end up cheating. uhmm personally I just make my main focus on keeping him happy while hes in Jail because it's not us inside of that Cold hearted place. So imagine how he feels, and yes it's my first time on this site today i made my account a few hours ago.

I'm here to motivate other women and for them to just listen to me when I have no one to speak too lool, but mostly look at it like this.... be happy for 17 months i'd DIEEEE for that time period.

Thankyou for replying ! Legit just seeing other people going through this and knowing I'm not alone means so much ! Tho i don't wish anyone to be in this kind of situation. Personally I know I will/could not ever ever ever cheat on him that hasn't even crossed my mind ! So far I've kept myself busy with doing things for him like printing photos and getting our home phone connected, I am just trying to think it would be so much harder for him ! But I can't stop crying everyday I just want to not cry I want to accept it and move forward and just be there for him.

well I haven't cried since the 1st day... no i'm lying lool i've cried But honestly if we can stick through this than we can't get through anything the way I see it. Us women are the stronger breed and we all need to stick together on this site.

I think having support and people to talk to will make it so much better thankyou !

No problem, I also think that Be positive and you'll see the months fly that how me and hub feel

I'm trying to think positive I guess that's all we can do ! Being miserable will get us no where !

know where at all, Just think about how jealous they other females will be once your beau is home and loving you like the queen you are!!. Just stay by his side and stay supportive through everything and it WILL be worth it in the end. but keep me posted ;; xoxo

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I was in this situation not too long ago. Personally I think "correctional centres" need a better support network. In the mean time I can share with you how I got through it.
Like you I wrote letters. We both did. They were long and mostly filled with rambling about the past, present and future. I spent a lot of time dreaming about the future too. About moving, about having kids. Anything that made me happy and I'd share it with him.
I made a count down chart. At times the number of days left made it depressing but I cut it down into halves, quarters, important dates like anniversaries and visit days. Then I'd focus on when the next "event" was and I'd ignore the rest.
I got creative. I drew him pictures, wove him a bracelet, learnt how to play part of a song from his favourite band on the piano. If I couldn't distract myself well enough to not think of him I'd do something for him.
When I could, I distracted myself. Read books, watched movies, spent the night at a friend's house eating junk food and watching stupid cartoons. It was rarely 100% effective but it helped.

You've probably tried most of these yourself and you've been in and have a lot longer to go than I did. Personally I say you're a very strong woman for getting as far as you have. Good luck and I hope it all goes well for you.

Thanks, and yes i've done it all spent nights with the girls just rambling about our boo's, daiquiri nights for just us I did the whole 9. I just recently hit the whole stage of actually feeling lonely i've been okay the past 9 months, I guess its because i'm off in university and i left home and all I have is Me, Him, Letters, Phone calls and a 10 hour drive distance between us.

But thanks you truly help me lift my night a bit, Now I'm just put my loneliness into Working out and doing times to keep him smiling in his worst times.