6 Years 8 Months ..

Well I'm new too this .. So I don't know where too start. I'm most likely going to be judged for my story but i dont really care.. it stil hurts me. well anyways I was seeing this guy for about five months before he was arrested... We knew eachother for awhile before we actually started talking. He was my softball coach... While I was in 7th grade. My sophomore year which was last year I started coaching baseball with him & his dad for community service project. We started getting really close, texting all the time. Hanging out. It was very secret due to the 8 year age difference... He was my travel softball coach during the summer. That's when we started getting really really close. Started going on dates & I would go to his house to "hit" but we'd just hang out. His ex girlfriend was on the travel softball team too, I have a feeling she found out about us & she told... But I'm still not sure. But anyways. On the 16th it will be 7 months since he was put away... I have good & bad days. He was the front of the news paper because I live in a small town & the crime he did was pretty big in my town. I can't talk to him until I'm 18 which is next year. I miss him all the time. Memories are always running through my head, I have dreams. I feel like I was the reason he was put away... I always feel guilty... He was sentenced to 6 years with 75% of the time in prison. I wish I could talk to him.... everynight I pray for him. I write letters I'm going to send once the court order restraining order is taken off when I turn 18.... the thought that I may never talk to him again kills me. I don't know if we'll ever talk again. I don't know if he wants to, there's the guilt again. I feel like he hate me because I think he thinks I told ... I just miss him so much. it's been only 7 months .... I'm sorry guys, I'm just venting /: I just don't know what to do, how to keep it off my mind. It's so hard playing my favorite sport because he had such a huge impact on softball in my life. Taught me a lot, showed me a lot.
micckk07 micckk07
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 9, 2013

Stay strong. <3 You're young! I learned early that love is more complicated than it should be. At the end of the day, the only one you can count on is yourself. 6 years is a long time to wait for him to come out, and until then you have another year before you can even be in contact with him. Do you! If it's meant to be, you and him will reconnect when the time comes. But don't let him being gone hold you back from living your teenage life. Here for support if you need it! No judgement here. :)