I Just Want Too Give Up.

Some nights I just want to give up, I always considered him my boyfriend for the 6 months we "dated". We spent time together everyday. Things got intimate. we would FaceTime & talk on the phone for HOURSS. he would call me his girlfriend. but we never made it public because There was an eight year age gap & also he was my softball coach. He was arrested on July 16,2012. The day we were supposed to leave to Vegas for a softball tournament. The police came & asked questions about me & him the morning before he was arrested. I denied everything. He didn't. The court gave me a restraining order so I couldn't even call to say goodbye. I had too testify against him in court, the HARDEST thing of my life... he was charged with two counts... which gave him 6 years & 8 months with 80% of the time. I miss him so much, it hurts. But some days I just want to give up. Why still try when I can't talk to him or write him for two years of his time. I got so attached to him it was rediculous.... I would sneak out too see him at night, we would FaceTime from night too morning. We would go to eat, he would pick me up at lunch. We did a lot together... I didn't even get too say goodbye. I have the guilt of him thinking I was the one that told.. Which I didn't, I didn't even tell anyone about us. I have a feeling it was his ex girlfriend.... it also hurts so much because I was so close to his family. His dad was like my Bestfriend, another father figure. I still don't know who told or got him into trouble. A part of me just wants to give up, but the other part wants to wait for him. But waiting for a 25 year old in prison for 6 years is really hard for a 17 year old girl still in highschool. I need someone that knows what I'm going through to talk to... I talk to my therapist but she doesn't understand as much as someone that has gone through it ... I miss my lame *** so much /: So please comment or message me?...
micckk07 micckk07
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 9, 2013

There's no possible way to write him? Even under somebody elses name?

Rideordie0806 the thing is I don't wan too get him into trouble.. Get him more time.. But yeah I've thought about that... But because he's considered a "child predator" it has too be someone over 18 ...

I messaged you hunni, but don't give up. Stay strong and hold your head high, you can always message me or anything if you need someone to talk too!