Missing My Husband Who Is In Prison!!

my name is sarah and my husband is in prison. we have a six month old baby girl named rowan. right now he is about 5 hours away in goldsboro. he will be gone a totoal of almost nine months, maybe longer. (possibly two years.) i miss him so much!! i never thought that i would be in this position. we had a child to raise together, not for me to raise her by myself. he will miss the most important things in her life right now. he will miss her first teeth, first time crawling, first steps...all the firsts you can think of. even though i have a lot of people who care about us, it feels like we are all alone. if any of you can give me some advice..or tell me how you make it through the day. i would really appreciate it..have a great day!! 

sarahthomas2721 sarahthomas2721
46 Responses Nov 11, 2008

I'm so sorry and am currently experiencing the same thing but I'm sorry you have to go though this it's a traumatic and hard thing it's not just the inmate that does time so does the family

Add a response...

It lucky my husband got 9years it cud be worse girl


I totally feel the pain. My husband got 30 months in prison. He has been there for 17 months. We have a 18 month old daughter. It sucks him not being here for all her firsts. I'm just really losing my mind lately. I miss him all crazy.I just want to wake up n this is all a bad dream. Feels good to know that I'm not alone.

I feel your pain my boyfriends in jail n we have a son who will be two on April 24 and our daughter turns one next Wednesday April 2 and its hard not having them there he missed our sons first steps last year n mothers day when he was in jail n he was the one teaching our son to walk. I think its so much harder when you have a kid with your man n he's in jail ecpecally when ur kids are so little like ours n their missing everything

Add a response...

I understand how you feel. Just pray and ask God for strength to get you through it. Most of all just take it one day at a time. This is your time to be the best mother you can be. Your baby needs you. Use this time to see who you are and get a closer relationship with the lord. When its time for your husband to come home. Yall will be together again. God bless.

I just try to keep busy and not think of it too much.. but the outcome of that is usualy me becoming numb and emotionless then out of no where I'm a crying mess..its hard. And I def know how u feel about missing all the important first. My man wasn't even home to see our son born and idk when he will be home yet..I'm praying for the best. Good luck and god bless you and yours.

That's how am emotionless n than a crying mess or very depressed the next min at night and in the morning are the worst for me

im alone to i have 4 kids and i have stay alone with them my husband is in prison i think he is going to make time and i feel so sad because i have a 8 month baby ah 4year girl and 2year babyboy and a 11year boy he is going to do 13 yrs in prison and i feel sooo sad because he burly got there he has 5 months there thats to little but what i say to my husband that im going to wait for him no matter what but i love him with all my heart im 29 yrs old and who can give me an advise what to do because sometimes i think alot and feel so sad thanx for hearing me

I thought i was the only one that was old going through this, im 33 my man is still in jail but da wants to give him three years i know thats nothing compared to yours but it sucks not having your best friend around.

please help keep in prayer my boyfriend his name is alejandro ferrer he had court on december of this year 2012 it starts on the 5th and i pray he gets released we really care for each other and well i would like to see his mom with a huge smile because its her only son

Hi my name is arielle, I've been with my best friend / boyfriend for two years.. he had did prison time before I had met him and he recently got locked up over the summer.. its been 3 months now and I'm lonely everyday.. I'm trying to be a good significant other, because his last girlfriend won't shi* the last time he was locked up. I have other friends that are going through the same thing... however our situations are still kind of different. THeir boyfriends either constantly beat on them or cheated on them or both. Mines has never laid his fist on me and he hasn't cheated on me.. I have a real smooth relationship with him.. when he was out we did everything together. My "friends" keep saying do you mingle a little but I have no reason too... I mean yes he is paying the consequences for what he has done but just because he is in jail I shouldn't have too have sex with other guys to have fun. Anyways we went to court on Friday of last week and D.A. still hasn't gotten all the statements so were waiting and waiting to see what he will be sentence.. I do know that this was his 2nd time violating his probation but he has a good lawyer and praying that he will only do 12 months well 9 months with time served.. I'm just tired. And I'm trying not to be like the girls I hang with. I love my man but with his situation they can still give him longer than 9 months even years. He had two years left on probation I'm scared they are going to ****** them two years from him. I'm tired of no sleep at night because he is not in the bed. SO since I don't sleep till about 5 in the morning I'm sleep the next day.. all day depression is kicking my ***.. I feel so sorry for you girls who have kids and your husbands/boyfriend is doing serious time.. Atleast you have those blessings from them to keep you busy... Me on the other end we don't have kids.. not yet and I wish I had a little piece of him to chase around.. but when we do have kids I pray that he gets on the right path so he won't have to miss the importance of them growing up... Ladies keep your head up and I'll try to do the same. :'(

I understand about not sleeping just last night,well just about every other night I don't any,sleep just like last night I went to sleep at 4 and just now getting up

sometimes i feel like that that i dont have my husband next to me on bed and i cry alone when me kids are asleep but i feel so bad of him not being with me

MY husband went to the county jail on july 18th the same day i found out i was pregnant this is his first child, he's out of state in the county and i live in another state, when he first went to jail i drove 14 hrs to see him, i stayed for almost 2 weeks and now im home i havent seen my husband for 3mos do not know how long he has but what we do know is that its going to take 6-18 months before he even gets his court date, im lost, im depressed at times i cry at times, i have his pictures in every room of the house, i moved out of our house because it didnt feel right anymore without him there, so i moved to an apartment to start fresh, so when he comes home this will be all new and we would be able to make a new start....all i know this is the first time for me to go thru anything like this and it hurts like heck, i love him so much and i miss him just as much...i mean we talk and i write him everyday and i mail the letter or letters everyday!!! so he can get mail from me everyday....only becasue it takes 3 days for the mail to reach him so if i write a letter everyday he will get a letter from me everyday....

My husband is in prison oh it's killin me can't eat sleep it's been three months now gets harder out four kids miss him do much too my heart breaks for them so much I just constantly tell him I'm with him but god I need him so bad it's awful feeling oh my god it's so awful and to you women who think they have a perfect life let me tell you in a spilt second your whole life can be turne upside down I'm so sad for him

I truly understand, i feel the same way about my husband and when he went to jail thats when i found out i was pregnant and this is his first child...im so lost without him but i do know that i will never leave him....


Im so sorry for your loss, i would fall apart if my man was doing that much time, your a. Strong woman.

My Husband is in prison and as soon as he went in i had our third child. Although I am blessed to have my third son , my husbands' parents don't think I can handle it and now have temporary custody and because yes I'm struggling to find a job they now have temporary custody. Times are hard and don't even wish this upon my worst enemy.

my husband is also in prison. he will be there 6 more months with 2 completed already. we have a 15 month old son together. it hurts so much some days. I get very angry at the selfish choice he made to put him where he is at,as well as to put his son in the position of missing daddy so much. I understand the anger is normal and will come and go, I try not to ignore it but at the same time I need to not focus on it in order to be the best mom I can. I have made the choice to stick with my husband through this trial we are faced with. along with that choice comes forgivness and letting go of resentment. it is a day by day struggle to get through this period of time,a period which a lot of people say will "fly by". I think they are wrong. I think these will be long months for us but I also know we have the best distractions in the world! enjoy your little distraction.....they keep us going when we don't want to and they give us strenght we didn't know we had.

Well my men is locked up I miss him so much I miss his kisses I miss his touch its crazy he should not be there at all to all of yoi that got a men in jail keep your head up<br />

Hello all my man is getting sentenced tomorrow to 9 yrs. Trying to find support on what to do to make this time easier. with good behaivor and time served he will be home in 6 1/2 im trying to stay positive! We have been together for 8 years we started out young and we hade just decided to get married and this happend. so i will RIDE WITH HIM! any suggestions on how to make the time pass

My mate has been gone for only three weeks. He was rearrested in April for disobeying a no Contact order which resulted from a loud argument that annoyed our downstairs neighbor. I miss him like crazy and all I want is to have him home. We've been together for 6+ years. His next court date is in about a week and hopefully he'll be released. But I don't trust the court system so that remains to be seen.<br />
Thank you for letting be get this off my chest. Today has been a very bad day.

Stand beside him and let him know you arent going anywhere. None of us expect to be in this postion yet here we are. Its not easy and people will talk but hold your head high and dont let it get to you. WHen he gets home dont take a second for granite! I am going through the same thing. I know it is so hard, I cry myseld to sleep each night after getting kids to bed but ive been down this road before and will get through it again just like you will too!!! Keep your head up.

I wish I did know how to tell you how to make it through times like these. Right now my husband is in the county jail and his trial is on my birthday of all days in just 2 short days. Anyhow he will not be coming home to me, he is looking at possibly a 5 to 10 is what the DA said they wanted from him. But if the Feds would have taken the case he could of gotten 25 years easy. So its only by the grace of God that the state took the case. Anyway I too have a small baby with my husband. She just turned 1 on the 8th of March and her Birthday party he missed too :( Ya know for me this is so hard. I feel like my life is in a downward spiral and that I am allowing myself to be imprisoned with him and I know its no good. The ONLY thing that keeps me going is my babies. But still it hurts and I wish I knew a way to make the pain go away. I see my husband every week and talk to him daily, sometimes it seems like it makes it hurt worse. But I know I cannot live without him and being forced to is like torture, I miss my best friend. And how am I gonna make it all that time with him gone. I know I will survive but I am just sooooo sad and depressed I dont know what to do. I have isolated so badly. I keep praying things will get easier and lighter on us, just acceptance and all. But I definatly feel your pain everyday!

I was 8months pregnant when My Man was arrested & a week before My Baby Shower... & 3days before His bday & on My bday when He got took... it was devastating to Me! The 1st year was so hard but I stayed busy with a newborn... then came trial 5yrs & a day! so no parole(all over stealing $400 what BS!)... I cried & cried & then made the decision to stick it out. I am very strong willed, I can do this... My health has slowly gotten worse & now I have been diagnosed with MS.. We are almost 4yrs in & I wish more than ever that He was home to take care of Us. My 3yr old can be a bit much for Me in My condition & I have no help. it's weird that this last year has been the toughest & the other 4 have flown by, I want to count down the days but that's too many I live month to month. I can't even imagine waiting longer than that... if He is your mate, etc... don't move on completely stand by him, but do U too.. We only live 1ce & We are entitled to happiness & companionship! I have not strayed, but I can barely offer My kid what lil energy I have, I just don't have it for another Man... if I can't give to My child what She deserves then no1 gets anything! She didn't choose this life & I refuse to let it affect her more than it already has.. She craves male attention badly.. when We visit its great & it's contact so that helps. we don't write anymore now that we call & visit weekly.. I was in the beginning writing 24/7...mostly hate mail lol... I was so mad at him! how dare He put Us in this position?! But ladies it's not that He don't Love yous, He is just caught up in a mess & He has to be the 1 to get out of it... So I hope for Me & every1 else who Loves their Man that it all works out for the better. We make Mistakes, we're only HUMAN! but if people continually let U down & hurt U on purpose it's time to let them go... We all know when We need to walk away & when We need to stay! & for all those that talk **** to yous.. Still hold your head up high, I do, & I say hey at the end of the day I stood by My word & what others do is of no concern to Me.

My goodness :( I don't know what to say. Reading these stories brings tears to my eyes, to know how many strong beautiful women there are in this world, going through the devastation of their loved one being in prison... & that I'm not alone. It's so very hard dealing with this kind of situation. I could never imagine my fiance being away for 10 years. One year has been hard enough. I'm from Canada, and judging by the stories I have read, it sounds like alot of you live in the US. Off topic- but I think their correctional system is so unfair! (for the most part)... My love went to prison February of 2011, and will be coming home this January of 2012. In the first few weeks of serving his sentence, I cried every day. Couldn't pick myself up out of bed. At one point I had to make the decision of either waiting for him, or not. I knew either way I had to be happy. So I waited, and yes it's been a tough long road, but it was worth the wait. Of course I had no support because unless you know someone that has been through the EXACT same thing, people will just never understand. I can't give anyone advice on weather on not to wait for their boyfriends, husbands ect. All I can say is follow your heart and you can not put your life on complete hold for someone else. Always take care of you first. Its not easy waiting that long period of time, but I can only imagine the day my fiance comes home, will be the most rewarding day of my life :) Good luck ladies xo

I was locked up for 13 months. I'm here to tell you that being in prison does not rehabilitate a person. When I was in county for 8 months it was a revolving door. I saw men come in more than once and because of being habitual then they were shipped off to state prison. I heard them tell their women they were a changed person and when they get out they would do better. Then I saw them come back and I was ashamed for them. I'm older now more wise. Drinking and taking drugs is the reason 98% of all the men are in jail. If a man does not stop drinking or taking drugs when he is on the street he will be put back in. I would suggest moving on. You may not want to hear this but it's the hard reality. Find someone else that will take care of you and your needs. Don't waste your life waiting.

I feel kinda of bad posting because my fiance only has to serve 90 days but im in pa and hes serving time in ohio... it cost 10 dollars everytime he calls and i can't really afford that and all the bills on top of that i just found out im 2 months pregnant this is my first and im only 20 so im scared. I have the support of both my family and his but this phone call and letter stuff is really starting to kill me... when i have cravings i can't call him and ask him to bring something home and i can't write to him telling him i need something i feel soo alone even tho i have family and i know some of u are saying 90days wow but the thing is ive spent everyday with him for the past 3 years never leaving each others side except for to go to work we've shared a bed and he's done everything for me.... now i go to work everyday counting down the days till he comes home the first week was hard but now im getting thru it little things make me cry every now and then but some of that is hormones! 84 more days till he gets out but he's gonna miss thanksgiving christmas and his birthday i can't wait for him to get out and who knows when i will be able to see him

i know how it feels :'( im 7 monthes pregnant and my boyfriend is in jail i dont even know whats going to happen to him, he went to jail about 4 weeks ago & he was the only one there for me when i first got pregnant, hes my bestfriend and its not even his fault why he is in jail, we write eachother sometimes and we barely talk on the phone like every other week, it sucks and i just want him out, i miss him soo much it hurts and im scared hes going to miss our babys most important years and i know hes very upset about that. im so scared he could get years i dont know what im going to do.

Hey my husand got 2 1/2 years and got arrested when our son was only 1 month old so I know just how you feel. Thank God he is getting out on parole in nov. just short of our sons first birthday and he has missed the first everything. I just focus on our son like playing with him and doing things together. Thats how I get through all this we have been together for over 5 years and its very hard. If you need to talk look me up on facebook I know that its hard and does help when you talk to someone else that really knows how it feels,. My name is stacie wall cutts ..... hope this helps and feel free to look me up.

Hey my husand got 2 1/2 years and got arrested when our son was only 1 month old so I know just how you feel. Thank God he is getting out on parole in nov. just short of our sons first birthday and he has missed the first everything. I just focus on our son like playing with him and doing things together. Thats how I get through all this we have been together for over 5 years and its very hard. If you need to talk look me up on facebook I know that its hard and does help when you talk to someone else that really knows how it feels,. My name is stacie wall cutts ..... hope this helps and feel free to look me up.

my fiance has 5 years in state prison. it is very hard if ur startn off am telln u is gonna get harder but one thing always tell them 2 stay strong never give up. he is n a level 3 prison. its scary 4 me b/c they walk around with shanks all time time. if u can tell ur love one 2 stay charge free for 1 hole year then write the judge tht put them in there for a reconsideration letter. if may help it may not but never give up. i been doing this for 18 months. i have call doc wrote the gov. eveything i can. i had 2 find out how 2 do the phones 2 make it cheaper on both of us.this is a everyday struggle but am making it. thax for listening. take care and be strong!!

My name is Amy! My husband has been down four years now and has 6 more to do. We have two children together they were 7 and 4 when he got locked up. We have had to deal with a lot by ourselves and like you said, I should not have had to do this alone. My anger for him gets the best of me sometimes because he made the choices he made and thought nothing of the consequences. We are making it though, the kids and I and him. We are all still a family and a strong unit. I believe this is because like others have commented: We keep in contact very frequently. We write everyday and mail letters Monday, Wednesday and Friday. This way we are getting mail constantly. We don't miss much that way. I send pictures on schedule too. Of course the obvious birthdays, holidays special occassions but also just of normal everyday life. We make cakes and special dinners on fathers day and his birthday and take pictures of us holding up signs like... We love you Daddy! Or stuff like that. It lets him know that we are thinking of him always and that he is still very much a part of our lives. He shows them off inside and brags. He should he's very lucky to still have us in his life. He is very thankful for that. Just remember the pain and lonliness you feel is double for him. He only has time to think about everything he has done and nothing to keep him busy really. Dont keep anything from him. Whether you think your protecting his feelings or not. He will find out at some point and that will ruin everything and you will have waited in vein. My husband was only three hours from me and I visited every other weekend. I carpooled to save money. See if you can hook up with someone like that. He was moved too Ironwood which is 13 hours from here and now to Michigan which is over 2000 miles from here. So I'm glad i visited as much as I did when I had the chance. Because I won't see him for 6 more years, it will cost too much to go see him now and I won't take that money from the kids. They have a right to be comfortable and I won't tighten things up on them again they had to go without a lot of things for the first 3 years he was down while I tried to square the bills away that I was left with....We went from 65 thousand a year to 25 thousands. So needless to say I had to do some huge budget cutting. I was very humbling. He was very strong for us though and he kept my head straight and we got through it. Keep your head up and take this time to learn more about each other. I wish you guys the best!!!

My husband will be in prison for the next 10 years. I admit I am a wreck. We are 34 with 4 children. I will always remain a strong woman for my children no doubt. I feel free to express here I'm a mess but remain open and honest with our kids! I Love my Husand and I would never put the word "but" infront of that! Those who judge people in love with conscenting adults must have issues of thier own. I will never underestimate the love we have by simply listening to those types of people. We are stronger than that. ~Through Thick and Thin

if any of you ladies would like to chat... please feel free to contact me. I'm currently in this position and yes by choice. I'm not here to judge anyone regardless of the situation... talk to you soon. -J

If we are so stupid why you checking out our comments??? why are you leaving comments for pathetic people? Who the hell are you to judge? Keep you dumb opinions to yourself. If you don't like what you see then keep it moving. It's ok to disagree, but it's messed up you would talk down to someone because of what they chose to do in life. No one's perfect and i sure bet you aren't either.

@ unicorn59 well said!!

Well said tcrad1.. If you can't do the time, then DON'T do the the crime!

Its amazing to me that anyone would come on here and say how "pathetic" these ladies are. PATHETIC is the fact that you took the time to write that. You have no idea what this life entails. You dont know these ladies or their husbands/boyfriends. Not everyone in prison is a bad person. **** happens. You need to wake up, take a good look inside yourself and keep your nasty comments to your damn self. I have a 2 year old son and a husband who is serving 5 years. This is not a joke, I love him regardless of the mistake he has made. My son will love regardless of his mistakes. YOU are not God you cant judge anyone.

hi im in same position my partner is in jail, we have a daughter who is 3 months old and i have a son from a previous relationship, he was locked up 2 days before our daughter was born, she was 4 weeks premature only because i stressed so much when he was taken and that brought her on. he has missed out on xmas, valentines day, his 21st, our 2 year anniversary, my bday, my sons 3rd bday.. i feel so lonely without him but he calls every day and writes letters and i send photos and letters aswell. 2 weekends ago when me and our daughter went to see him, she smiled for the nfirst time, and at him. it was so beautiful. hopefully only 3 more months to go. anyone who wants to talk please do id love to talk to abyone in same position.

seriously get a phukin life and find someone who isnt a loser and a criminal..geez these people are so pathetic!

I am in the same position. I met my husband at a church picnic and he had just got out of jail and he told me everything about why he was in there to begin with and he said he turned his life around so I gave him a chance everyone needs a second chance. Well I fell in love with him and married him. We were married then I found out that he never stopped drinking and that is what got him in trouble the first time. After two months he got his parole officer to send him to a half way house to help him get cleaned up and start over and I stuck by him. Four months after that he was drinking again and he took off in my car and he got arrested and put back into prision and now he will be in there for the next 6 years. I have already been away from him since May 2009 and he wont get out till 2017. His family has nothing to do with him. Now he is making me promises that he will never put another drop to his lips but I dont know if I can believe him or not. Sure he can say that now because he has no way of getting it. I am starting to have doubts about staying with him or not. I live with my mother now and no job and I cant find one. I have no idea how to deal with all of this. I am 52 and I should be thinking about how I am going to live my retirement but instead I am dealing with all of this.

I am sorry to hear your stories. I came online looking for support. My man of 1 year was arrested in June 2010 and yesterday was his status conference where he was supposed to plead guilty. We were expecting him to be out by the new year. Instead of pleading guilty yesterday, his lawyers set for trial because the Feds are indicting him now. How scary they say his minimum sentence is 5 years. I am like whoa!! I am not going anywhere but it is so lonely there is nothing you can say to make your loved one feel better and nothing you can do but daydream of what it was like, which often makes things feel worse. Lets all just keep supporting each other b/c the outside world can be extremely judgemental and dont get that people make mistakes. And alotta time when someone makes the mistake that gets them incarcerated those judgemental people could be in that situation. Not everyone who goes to jail is bad, and if you have a good man stick by him.

ughh i know it is sooo hard. my fiance and i have a daughter who will be 7 months old in 3 days. he has been in there since feb. 28 and went 2 court apr 5. we were absolutely 100% convinced that he was coming home. everyone was. instead they gave him 36 months. and its federal so he will probably do all of it. we are both devastated. but the way i look at it, 3 years is nothing compared to the lifetime i plan on spending with him. yeah he is missing out on the most important things in her life but i wake up with her every morning and look at it as another day closer he is to coming home. and on a daily basis i read the bible verse 1 corinthians 13:7 and it helps me a whole lot. good luck to all of you

Sorry to hear,<br />
Me n my husband been together for 3 yrs......, my husband has been in county jail for 6 months still in the process of court gets sentencing on april 1st... Have three kids four ,two,and nine month old baby was only 4 months when he was arrested they are trying to give him 3 years could be punishable by life with his charges and this is whats killing me is him missin out on the kids bdays xmas hollween , easter , 1st bday of baby if it was just me n him it wouldnt hurt so much but everything happens for a reason and GOD must have done these things for reasons u know u cant always look at it in bad way unless the person deserves it but if not then thier life was probably heading in wrong direction and GOD let this happen for an eye opener because our relationship was about to end before this happened but now we r stronger n just wanna be more with each other then ever but i just wanna tell u keep lookin up n beilive in GOD but u cant pray for someone taht person needs to do it for them selves god bless you and ur baby,, good luck i wish u and ur family the best!!!.

My fiance got in trouble as well and our relationship was on the rocks but ever since it happened I realized how much I loved him. Our children are now 18 months and 6 months he has been gone for 2 1/2 months now and will hopefully be home by the end of the year...

hi i know exactly how you are feeling... my boyfriend of 5 years in june has just gone to prison,on remans at moment,its only been 9 weeks but feels like a lifetime already, I have 2 sons by him, one is 3 and other 9 months, i know hes gona be there for a long time. I miss him so very much that it hurts, i look at our sons and hurt and cry for them. Its so lonely. I dont realy know what kinda advice to give as im new to this and first time ive ever been through this but i feel for you as i know how i feel and if you wana talk please do, i find it hard to talk to my friends as they arent in the situation so they dont realy know how im feeling and think im being soppy, i hated xmas just gone, hope to hear form you, take care of yourself xx

Hi, I am in the same situation. My fiance is in prison 2 hours away from our home for 8 1/2 years, he has served 10 months of it already. We have a 6 month old daughter also. She was 6 months old the 16th of Jan. 2010. He was in county jail when I had her. He's missed everything and he will continue to miss important things until she is almost 9. I am so devistated. I understand how your feeling exactly. I miss him so much it hurts sometimes and I feel so bad for both him, and our daughter. I can't wait to have him back in our lives. We will have to wait a while but it will be worth the wait. I write him and visit him but it still hurts so bad. I get sooooo lonely sometimes. But as time goes by it gets a lil easier but not much. This past xmas was really hard. I cried the whole month of December. If you ever want to talk, contact me. Courtney

Write him lots of letters. As a man, when you are locked up, you thrive on any contact from the outside. So, keep him posted via letter, pictures etc. Get other family members to write to him as well. Put money on his books if you can, that way he can buy things inside too. If you love him, be there for him and don't bail on him. Be his rock until he can get out and be yours. =) Good luck.

Well I know parts of how you are feeling, my boyfriend of 2 years had to go to prison for a year (he'll be getting out next month) we don't have any kids but I understand how it can be hard.<br />
Hopefully you are able to visit him and send him pictures of ya'lls daughter as often as possible because knowing what it's like in prison - it gets extrememly lonely, especially when you know you're missing out on important things...<br />
<br />
I do know someone pretty close to me who is the dad in prison in that situation, and he's missed most his daughters early life and now he found out he has another one on the way, he'll be gone for 3 years so he is missing ALOT and I know the only thing that keeps him going everyday is letters and calls and pictures and visits.. it's all you can do.. and keep yourself busy.. sounds like nothing but it's hard.. just know that soon enough day will come and there he'll be.. Good luck and keep your head up - if you can't be strong don't expect anyone else to be!! And write to me if you ever want someone to talk to!