Should I Write to Him?

My x-boyfriend violated probation a few times and chose to go to jail rather than keep paying all the fines, etc.  Anyway, he broke up with me a week before he turned himself in--saying he had too much to sort out and wanted to make it easier on me.  He said he was considering turning himself in rather than stick out all the probation hoops and lack of money since he lost his lisence and could barely pay his bills much less all the court costs, drug and alcohol tests, etc.

Before he broke up with me I was driving him around, taking him to his PBT's, going to his court dates and did all of this because I love him as I love myself.  But he seemed to feel like he depended on me too much.  We talked about moving in, getting married, kids.  Then "poof" he suddenly wanted to break up and then I find out he did decided to choose jail over probation.

He didn't even tell me before he turned himself in.  I had to find out from his friends.  I am devestated.  I just don't know if he stopped loving me or if he broke up with me to make his going to jail easier on me.  He said he knew that I would not stay by him if he went to jail (that was so hurtful to hear) and so he needed space/alone time to make the decision.  I told him I never said I would leave him if he chose jail but that it would be very hard for me to survive without him.  He is my light.  He ended our last conversation saying he was "in the dark" about how he felt about me--implying he didn't know if he loved me anymore.

so, now he is in jail and will be there for at least 5 months (it's susposed to be a year but they may let him out early for good behavior).

Should I forget him?  Should I mail him letters, packages, photos of us?  Should I not forget him but just leave him alone to do his time and have his "space".  Please help.

bansidhe bansidhe
1 Response Feb 11, 2009

I would say no don't write him. He became a leach didn't rally care for you and was greatful for your help and support. Move on he couldn't follow simple rules he want to be locked away. He didn't even tell you that he was going to jail go ahead move on. Leave him to the wolves. It might hurt bur in the long run it will be worth it.