Feeling Lost

My boyfriend has been in jail for 10 months now and is waiting to go to prison. Last month he was sentenced to 35 years. This whole situation has made me stick to him more even though it is an extreme emotional rollercoaster. I feel emotionally (& sometimes physically) helpless, exhausted and spiritually drained. Some days I'm mad at him, at the system, the world and even myself. Then other days are different. From day one we have always been there for each other. Right now there is nothing I can do to help him and it really hurts. I can see him alot right now because he is close to where I live. I know that this will all change very soon. I knew that when I met him my life would be different and I was ok with that. Well I guess that I was right I just never thought it would be like this & neither did he. At this moment it feels like we are dying. I can honestly say that my life has changed forever. I don't know what to do or where to go with this. So I just go on everyday pretending to be "normal". It' really hard.

munecadechilo munecadechilo
36-40
2 Responses Feb 19, 2009

35 years is a long long lifetime. How can you really hold on to something that will become so invisable and not real

i know its rough pretending to be "normal" its just really hard, it's not something you can just bring up in a convo because its so personal and there are a lot of judgemental people around. keep your head up!