Why Again

So let me start by saying I'm no angel ether. Chris and I have had an on again off again relationship for years. Ive known him since I was 14. He was my best friend for years, we did everything together, he was by my side through all my relationships. Some where down the line I gave in and fell for him, see he's not the most attractive guy but i love him to death. But I know how bad he is for me. I cant stand the things he does. We both are heroin addicts. I just got out of prison on DEC.15 09..Chris was in the county jail,he posted bail and got his mom to say I could come to her house to live since I lost mine in prison. So ISP approved me to come to her house, I got out of prison, Chris stayed clean for like 2wks then he started using n lying to me cause I'm in recovery and I don't want anything to do with drugs. So he went off the deep end again, started stealing from his mom, robbing cars. He was violent to me and we fought all the time. I was miserable. His mom made him go to a mental hosp. for a week. The day after he came home his G-ma,who bailed him out and he was very close to, she was his second mom,died. Oh I forgot to say he asked me to marry him on Valentines day! He bought the ring with real cash, I made him show me the receipt! So he went off again but he was clean for the funeral and wake. But here's the scummy part. He ******* waited until his GPA went to work 2 days after the funeral, broke in the house stole everything,the second wedding ring(he stole the first one too!) even her death certificate! Then he comes home,: tells me he was out selling weed all day, his GPA came over for dinner; he had the balls to kiss him and tell him he loved him after he just robbed him. He totally played it off with me, acted like nothing was wrong. We went to ISP the next day(last Thursday) came home, his mom was all mad wouldn't tell me why.Chris and I ate dinner. I was doing the dishes when all of a sudden the cops were everywhere.They arrested Chris. That's when I found out what he did.I'm heartbroken.How could he do this after we did so much to be together? He's even got my name tatooed on his arm. How could he do those horrible things? How could I love a person like that and now what am I supposed to do? He is already in trouble facing a ten w a 5. Oh yeah I forgot to tell you his mom n G-ma put up every last penny they had to get him a paid lawyer so hopefully he didn't have to go away for so long(n he robs them,hes never worked all he does is rob his family for a decade now that's all he did,all he knows) So now hes got all these new charges,hes going away for years. It hurts so bad on so many levels. He's my every thing and I don't know how I'm gonna live without him. I miss him so much and am so lonely.He was my world and now I'm all alone with no one to talk to! What should i do? Help!

jfrazer jfrazer
26-30, F
1 Response Mar 9, 2010

Oh my goodness, that's nothing short of a trainwreck...I can't even try to sugar coat your story. I'm so sorry lady. Drugs destroy everything, they really do. My fiance was hooked on tar, but he's 3 years clean and sober now...it's gonna take a lot of work for your man. Prison will either help him turn everything around, or push him down further...I think you should stay faithful to him for at least 6months- 1 year and judge his progress. If he loves you, he'll pull through and be a better man.<br />
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p.s. I'm always looking for other folks on EP that are in recovery, I hate going to meetings ... there's nothing anonymous about NA/AA in Los Angeles :( If you wanna talk I'm here.