I Miss My Boyfriend, He Passed Away 7/1/10

My boyfriend of 6 months passed away on 7/1/10. He had been battling severe depression for several years and had lost his twin brother in 2008.. I am having an extremely hard time dealing with this because I fell madly in love with this boy. Him and I decided to get matching tattoos on eachother, that's how much I loved him..I had never gone that far with anyone. He was the first person I lost my viriginity to. He would have been 22 in December.

I have days where I feel that I am in acceptance and other days that it hits me so hard that it hurts, I feel as though he's on a mini vacation and he'll be back and when reality hits it hurts so badly. I would have never thought this could happen to me. We were so happy together, we had plans, we wanted to get married someday, we had names for future kids.

I don't know what to do. I can't escape all of the surroundings that contain our memories together. I have the need to change schools.
Advice from anyone? I feel as though I can never find love again, not the same love that I had with him...I feel as though any future encounters with guys
will be horrible due to my strong missing of him and wanting to be with him...the need to go to his grave and wake him.

Liz710 Liz710
18-21, F
4 Responses Jul 13, 2010

Your story touched me sooo much ! Wow...I saw your picture with him of your matching tattoos, I never seen a love so beautiful like you two. It must be really hard for you , I'm sorry for your lost. Pray to God for peace in your heart, its the best thing you can do.

Wow I feel like we are sharing the same stories. My boyfriend passed away Oct. 25 2009 and he had been battling depression and the loss of his sister and he couldnt bare the pain anymore and took his own life. I know exactly what you are going thru. Im so sorry for your loss. Its crazy how much I am feeling the same way you are.... I wish he would come back. I hope you find strength to move on one day....

I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS! MY FIANCE PASSED AWAY 2/3/10 I WAS 8MO PREGNANT WITH HIS 1 AND ONLY CHILD. IT HAS BEEN A LITTLE OVER 6MO SINCE HE PASSED AND ITS GETTING WORSE AND WORSE I THOUGHT IT WOUOLD GET BETTER BUT ITS NOT I MISS HIM SO MUCH HE WAS MY LIFE MY EVERYTHING AND I DONT Y THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPEN!!

I hear the first number of months are always the worst. I know it's impossible to believe right now, but time does heal all wounds.