He Lives Through Me...

I had met him when I was 3 years of age. He is the son of my mothers childhood friend. When we were younger, my mother would have to keep her eye on the both of us as we would run off together in a separate room :) We had become inseparable and it felt amazing. We were on and off again and again as we stumbled upon adulthood. As I reached the age of 22, Drew and I had established a label. It was official...we were deeply in love with one another and always had been. We were officially an "item" and I was the happiest I had ever been. Drew and I had dated for 3 1/2 years before he passed. We had planned on getting married within the next few months, ahead.

January 19, 2012 is officially labeled as the worst day of my life. Drew and I had woken up on a beautiful day and we were excited about our festivities for that day. He left in his sister's car to get us some donuts for breakfast. He left our home and said, "I will be back soon". If I would have known what was in store, I would have grabbed him at that instant and never let him go. How was I to know?

As I'm getting ready for our day together, I suddenly begin to hear his sister screaming my name. I walked in the living room...I will never forget the look on her face at that moment. She asked me to look out the window and to tell her that the car wrapped around the pole, right across the street, was not hers. We were both in such shock. We ran out of the door and ran across the street. Sure enough, it was Drew. He had been speeding and lost control of the car, when it was wrapped around the pole. He must have been traveling at an extremely high speed because it was a horrible accident. It took 2 hours for them to cut and remove him from the car.

I miss him so badly and I almost feel guilty for not riding with him the day it happened. Sometimes I wish I would have been there with him so he wasn't alone. There are days in which I do not know what to do with myself. I have great days, low days and suicidal days. I never know what I will feel the next day and it is a scary feeling. All I want is to be with him, to hold him, to kiss him and to tell him over and over, just how much I love him and always will. There is not one single soul on this earth that could ever replace my Drew Bear. He will always be my everything and will live through me...

dunner996 dunner996
4 Responses Apr 12, 2012

My first love passed away in a car accident nearly two years ago. I can still remember the day, the pain that I went through.. I go through... We had just reconnected, and we were working things out. I love him with all of my heart, and I don't think I'll ever be able to move on. I know that he'd want me to, but I can't even bare the thought of being with someone else... I miss him more than I could ever begin to express in words.<br />
I hope that you are doing well. I am so very sorry for your loss.

i am very sorry for your loss as well. it is nice to know there are others who can relate to how i am feeling. it is difficult to speak with those who have never experienced such pain. how are you feeling? i have to say, i feel worse now than i did when it first happened. i was in shock when it first happened and i barely cried at all because i felt that it wasn't real, eventhough i saw him in the car. it seems like it gets worse for me as time goes on. i miss him more and more everyday.

i too lost my boyfriend last month.so sorry for your loss.

All the love he gave to you will be carried on for the rest of your life.