Love At First Sight Ended Too Soon...

I fell in love with my Sammy the first night I met him. It was the night of his 28th birthday, 2/28/2010. Fate would literally, have us bump into each other in a nightclub a few minutes after the clock struck midnight. He was this tall, dark, and oh so handsome man with enough charisma to light up the room. Our chemistry was immediate and magnetic - unfortunately, a month and a half after meeting, I found out that he was unavailable, so we parted ways and I moved on.

On 1/26/2011, I received a friend request from him and "politely" gave him a piece of my mind, skeptically asking why he was contacting me. He explained that he needed to apologize to me, and that for the 8 months we did not speak, I always remained a constant in his mind. I believe it was by God's grace that I accepted his reaching out, because the feisty girl in me wouldn't have given him the time of day. That day, my life with him started and I was forever changed.

Our 19 months together was not without its tests; but I got to experience a love that was tried and true. I received love from a man that loved me, even when I was unlovable, self-sabotaging the relationship, and at my worse. I supported him through his painful past and constant disappointment and stress while trying to overcome personal obstacles. I find so much comfort in knowing that at the end of the day, no matter how bad things got, he had my back and I had his; and neither of us gave up on the relationship; there was a commitment to make it work "for better or for worse."

Sammy planned on marrying me, making me the mother of his children (he had names picked out for the little girls he wanted because he had dreams of them) and had no issue telling any and everyone that fact. I believe he was waiting for my upcoming birthday this month to buy me a ring and propose. On Friday, 8/24/2012, we sat out in the front of our home and had talked of marriage, babies, the growth of our relationship and how strong we were together; a "power couple." He reiterated how much he loved me and how he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with me. He called while I was at happy hour with girlfriends to sing Happy Birthday to one and again texted and called to say he loved me. I got home that night at 1:00am and sent a text to tell him I was home - by 1:30am, I was being called to the hospital.

On Saturday, 8/25/2012, 12:49am, Sammy was killed in a nightclub less than 5 blocks from our home. He had gone out with a friend to celebrate the friend's "come up" - new job, new car, new beginning. Sammy always was happy for others' successes, even if he was down or stressed about his own obstacles - you'd never know what he was going through because he was always laughing, smiling and full of so much life. He was an amazaing dancer - we used to go out and shut many a club down with our moves together... That night, while Sammy was on the dance floor as expected, a senseless person, unprovoked, hit my Sammy in the head with a champagne bottle - he was killed on impact. At the hospital, I feel like my life stopped, the earth broke open and I wish that it had swallowed me into it. The pain I feel everyday is unbearable, and I don't know how I'm going to make it through. I have lost the love of my life, my soulmate, my best friend, my future husband and father of my children. I was his right hand; he was my left - the hole in my chest is so huge; I have panic attacks daily and will soon be prescribed medication from my counselor. I have started grinding my teeth in my sleep due to the stress. I know that it is only by God's mercy and the prayers of family and friends that I haven't completely said **** it, and given up completely.

I'm glad that I found this site because I have been feeling very alone in my feelings and thoughts and it's comforting in its own way to know that there's a place to share, hurt, and cry with others who have experienced the same. My prayers and thoughts are with each of you through your grief and pain.
SPD3sBooBa4Ever SPD3sBooBa4Ever
26-30, F
3 Responses Sep 13, 2012

If you ever need someone we can always keep in touch. Because this is really hard to go through alone. My Kingsley was killed on 1/5/13. We was also a power couple. Just like most young couples we went through alot. We was so perfect at first. When living was all about us and loving each other everything was great. But when we or pregnant with are daughter and had to take on real responsibilities things got a lil crazy. We started saying and doing things we really didnt mean. I use to say I hope he would die. And I know God say the tongue is the the power of life or death. Sometimes I feel as worst as the guy who killed him. And the others who were involved. We just had are jr on 12/22/12 and are princess 2/3/12. Kingsley S. was only 20 years old. He was truly all I had besides God and are kids. It's so hard being 21 and having to take on all this responsibility alone. I given up my life to create my own family with Kingsley. And I regret it now. B/c I have 2 kids who have to grow up without their dad. And I don't trust any other man to come in our lives. And plus no one could ever take Kingsley place. I would always think of him. I'm seriously empty alone. I feel like this is a cruel punishment. Idk I'm so hurt. I would rather fight for my own life than him have his taken.! And I'm truly sorry Bout your lost. This Is the hardest thing anyone would have to go through. I just can't believe this is apart of life.

I completely understand what your going thru and more....I just lost the love of my life over the weekend he was also the father of my children...we been together since highschool ....we were highschool sweethearts, we grew up together and he was my bestfriend he was only 25 years old and was killed....its still unreal but i know its real becuz i woke up to many times now.....but I must go on with the memories and for our children...please pray for me and i will do the same for you.....just had to get that out.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss - my heart breaks for you and your family. I know that this Thanksgiving was a difficult one, as it was for me and our family. Know that you and your children are in my thoughts and prayers. You're never alone in your grief and he will always be with you.

I have no words except... just pray god, and remember life goes every moment so try to live on present as much as you can... your being happiness will bring smile on his face so try to be happy in which ever way is possible...

Thank you for the message - I definitely try to live each day to the fullest for the both of us.