Bonnie & Clyde. Till The Very End It's Me And My Boyfriend

My story may be a bit too full on for some. But I too have lost my partner. Please do not read my story if you are quick to judge. I am not looking for a response let alone a negative one, This is my story. 

When I first hooked up with James Green I really didn't like him. I thought he was so full of himself. He would always be playing a character. Our big two weeks together we'd always laugh about. I left him.. But I never forgot how he treated me like a princess. It was 2 weeks no biggy! He fell in love. For 18 months he kept a photo of me beside his bed, framed, hoping that one day I'd be his again. For 18 months I lived my life, getting a random message here and there from James, wishing he would just get the hint that I really wasn't interested and he was just my mate. I loved our story :) 

I needed to get out of the life I was living I thought I had hit rock bottom. I was leaving the small town to become a gypsy. I was walking away from my son for who knows how long? Keen and hopeful to stay away from drugs and find the real me. 

( My story about my own life is a whole other story. Please do try not to be quick to judge.)

 My friend James invited me to stay with him for a week or so. We had been texting over the past couple of weeks. He Knew about the **** i had been going through. He was going to show me the city and a visit would be nice anyway. James's was first on the road trip. .... Seeing him was great. He was so tall and handsome. I realized the second i got out of the car from that 6 hour drive and he cuddled me how much i did actually miss him. He handed me a pair of silver hoop earrings he bought me months back when I told him I'd come to visit but was a no show. I put them in that night.  He thought he was such a bad ***! He had a Harley Davidson, that was pretty hot but even after he took me for my first time on the back of a bike and i told him to get rid of it lol he was still just James to me, my 5.8. Best Mate :) we became so close. I never thought I could be in love with him. But he did treat me like a princess.  

James and I both had a big weakness in common. Meth Amphetamines. 

Being friends and thinking I was only going to be around for a week we "hit it hard" and just had fun :) 3 weeks later we were still on our bender... I still hadn't slept with James and would still push as us being friends, but sometimes I would feel myself feeling.. Feelings!! About James Green! I would joke when he would would stand close to me in shops saying people might think he's my boyfriend. He made me so happy, I could be myself 100%,with James . He accepted me. And I accepted him. All I wanted was him to be him. He didn't come out often, always hiding behind a tough face.He'd take me bowling, we'd go to time zone and be big kids, we"d go to display villages and pretend to be a rich young coupe looking at multi million dollar houses, we travelled the coast with James showing me more of the world day by day :)  We stayed in penthouses, a new hotel every couple of days, he would buy me everything, too much! I've never been the type of person to be materialistic, damn right I like to look good but I've toughed it out of home since I was 12. I had my son on my own at 16 by myself. I am paying my mortgage on my first home i bought at 18 and a new car. I don't work. But i pay my bills and i have never asked for help. Nice things were.. Nice. But just having James around and knowing he wanted to do it all, spend every second with me, protect me..To be honest Felt amazing. I was having fun. I was falling in love. I had no intention of going back to my town so I stuck around. This was my time. 

When James and I were friends, I knew how much of a protective person he was. I mentioned before the joke about him standing too close to me at shops. Well half the reason it was funny is because of how he used to stand and his complete swagger when he was out with me. No man could look half sideways at me or James would have looked like he would kill them right then and there... So no man did lol. I knew that if my friend was ever to be my boyfriend, this could be a problem. But I stayed. 

Meanwhile all this traveling and new experiences going on. There was drugs. We were already hooked on the **** when we weren't in each others lives. Put two addicts together... We just kept on going. We'd stay awake 4-5 days then get a nice hotel to just sleep and eat for a night or two then start all over again. We would have our massive scattered fights too, but I could never leave. 

James Green, the one boy I honestly thought I would never be interested in, my best mate... He had finally made the girl in the picture beside his bed fall for him. After being around 4-5 weeks I asked James to be my boyfriend one night we went out. I can still remember the look on his little face when I asked him "if he wanted to be like BF,GF with me?" it was blaring music and people everywhere. :) it was an inside joke between us. His little face froze, he couldn't believe I'd asked him to be my BF. He just grabbed my hand, kissed me on the cheek and didn't let me go for the entire night. He looked hot as with his neck tat in his long, blue ,buttoned up, collared shirt. His dark blue jeans and white volleys.  I felt pretty but felt like a queen with the way James was, well I felt.. Showing me off. We were so awesome that night. So Awesome. 

James and I weren't friends anymore. This had gotten real now. The next morning at first it was a little awkward, but it didn't last long. We just got straight back on it and kept doing what we did. We stayed in our fancy hotels one week and were scraping up for a 2 dollar cheeseburger the next. Life was crazy at times. We knew we had to stop eventually. James was affiliated with what I would call not so great people when I came along. I pretty much gave him an ultimatum when we got together its me and family life or them. I wasn't living that life and he wanted to be his own man anyway. He was scared sometimes. But when something is all you know in life, it is very hard to never go back to them ways. He had such a strong personality too. Everywhere he went he would make him self noticed somehow. The two of us having such strong personalities was hard enough let alone needing drugs every day or it felt like the end of the world. One night on one of our big scat d&m talks he called us extremists! I couldn't believe it because it was so ******* true! It made sense and helped explain so much of my life's stories. We were extremists. I found myself falling for James even more as the days went by.I was so in love. James had made me feel feelings that I never knew existed. I knew It was love though . I know. 

We booked this penthouse 2 bedroom apartment pretty much on the sand for 2 weeks while we had some money. Stability for a couple of weeks was going to be great!  James was the greatest concreter there was and he was going to look for work which meant it was the perfect timing to get Zane, my son. After nearly 2 months away from him I was wanting to be mum again. The one thing I saw I had done right in life. He has always had and still does have everything money can buy and that his little heart could ask for and the kid has manners. He is the most kind hearted and soft natured Child. I have always maintained his innocence. My son has never been close to or in any area that drugs have ever been used or being stored. Ever. Like I said the one thing I've done right and I said again, my story is a whole other one. 

James and I left early to pick Zane up from my mums. James was always so pushy into getting Zane back. He wanted Zaney to be with us and be a family just as much as I did. We were so good when we were off the **** and now that Zane was coming back with us meant we had to pull up...     

Having Zane and being mummy again AND being in love. I had it all. I had a Family. I had found the one thing most people search and hope for their entire lives. True Love. I was Happy. We were all so happy. We would get on it sometimes but priorities came first now that we had Zane. 

4 weeks later. Zane was back with my mum. She was on holidays from work and asked if Zane could go to Sydney with her to see the rest of the family. We were straight back on a bender, we went too hard. Things occurred during this time that really ****** us up. James and I were at a big low. Mum refused to let me pick up Zane because we didn't have a stable home. So we did what we did best. Drugs. And living life looking our best and we pulled off the "perfect looking couple" :) if only walls could talk aye? Money was really short. The two of us, raging habits, no gear, no money, no house, living out of the car. Things got pretty crazy sometimes. But somehow they were forgotten about..i had hope. 

After getting Zane back and then mum taking him again. We kind of gave up for a while. And like I said before just kept on going. Things had to change. We had to do something to change our lives. This crazy life had to stop. We had nothing. There was no way of getting money unless james lived his old life. I was so depressed and this really put a toll on us. I made the decision to go to rehab with James supporting me the whole way. He was so afraid of being alone though, without me. He was afraid of his old life because he knew that it wasn't good. James asked his one true mate if for somewhere for us to sleep for a couple of weeks. Get our selves sorted you know. We wanted to get better, get straight. Get jobs and work every day. Have our home and Zane right there with us. We were so ready! 

James and I detoxed ourselves together. For 7 days we laid in his friends spare bedroom. Waking up, cuddling, cooking each other feeds, going halves in every smoke, talking... Planning the future. Then we had a fight. I planned to leave that day for my mums and get ready for rehab. James conned me in for one more night. I was so cold, distant. I hate how I was. But I wanted to go home, wanted to see my baby, wanted to get better. James had to do the same. That's how I felt. 

The next day I left. I left him. I drove away from him watching him in my rear view mirror. Crying. I was crying because I honestly didn't know deep down whether I was going to see him again. I knew I had to be clean and I wanted too and I loved James. But I knew if I left rehab and went straight back to him when he hadn't changed then what was the point? We didn't want that life. I needed my son. I didn't know if I could ever be with him again.  I had hope. 

I stayed at my mums for a week before I went to rehab and didn't touch any amphetamines before I went in. I rang James 2 nights before I left. I missed him, just wanted to hear his voice. But I made out like I was only ringing to see if he could pay my mum back the money he owed her. I was a *****. I wanted James to realize how serious I was about the both of us getting straight. And if he didn't pull up, then I was gone. I thought I was teaching him a lesson. I was mean. His voice.. He was so excited to hear from me. I am thankful every day I let James know I loved him when we said our goodbyes. 

Rehab. 

Day 6. The best I had felt. I was Happy, motivated and pissed off that James hadn't rung to talk or even tried to ring my sister. Usually he would text and ring constantly which would cause more arguments, but he just missed me. I never panicked once about him running off with another girl, he loved me way too much too be with another girl. I only worried he would get himself into trouble. Day 6. I was able to go for my first walk outside of the doors I walked in 6 days ago... To the beach :) it was amazing. I had no idea I was even near the beach when I caught multiple buses and trains to get there!! 

One of the girls yelled my name after she answered the phone!!  "YAY :)" I yelled. The phone was finally for me, I had a phone call. Hopefully it's James or mum ringing with Zane... My thoughts. Mum was a bit quiet, I started off having a go at her for not ringing me, I wasn't asking much. Just a little love you know. Mum interrupted. " okay soph have you got any councilors or someone around you can talk to? Something's happened Soph. "... What the **** are you talking about mum stop your **** and just tell me i was saying. I just needed to hear it NOW! " Sophie, what is James fathers name? Or his mothers darling? Is there a number you have to ring to get in contact with James Soph. " ... "He's had an accident lovey it's all over Facebook. I don't know what has happened yet okay. I'll ring you back in 5 minutes "..

I walked outside. Shaking. A few of the girls noticed something was up. I started blubbering about his accident and how I knew nothing. I was thinking a million thoughts! What if he's on life support? ICU? Maybe, hopefully nothing serious at all the girls kept on trying to reassure me. 

5 minutes later the phone rang. Fast paced I walked to the phone. A couple of the girls behind me. My support.  Hello...    "I'm sorry baby he's passed away",

For 5 weeks I have now lived without my best mate. This story is Our Story. The James Green and Sophie Evans story. I know my James would want the world to know about the love we shared. He told Our Story to so many people along the way and named it, "The Girl In The Picture". James was really an amazing person. One Of A Kind. Our story might have a sad ending but my love for James will never die. I am only 21 years old, I'm still a baby. But I can tell you that I met my soul mate and he has now passed on. 

James Brian Green 
10-8-87   -   29-10-12
SofeX SofeX
18-21, F
2 Responses Dec 11, 2012

so sad

I'm sorry for your loss Sophie.

I'm glad that you told all of us your story of love for James.I bet he would want the best for you and the baby.