Yesterday i lost my boyfriend , and i needed to share my story. Cause if you are so much in hurt and saddness you cant controle youre emotions. I didn’t slept for now 22 hours. I’m just sitting next to him holding his hand and crying. He’s laying on his bed in the livingroom. Im talking about my 19 year old boyfriend Sidney. He and i shared the same best guyfriend and that end upp well. We where together for a long time.Monday something bad happend and he end up in a coma. The docter told us already to say goodbye to him. I never left his side , and i was praying and hoping that he was gonna to make it. Yesterday he finaly got awake , we where crying , laughing and made jokes with eachother.. Now if i think about it , it seems he was saying goodbye to me, if he knewed something bad was going to happen. He was telling me how much he loved me , that he always take care of me, that if he was up in heaven he would protect me.. After that he said 'Dont worry baby, you are going to survive this'.. 2 Hours later he went dizzy , feeling not well and then he past away. I never ever tought this would happend. The only thing i can remember is that i dropped on the floor and couldnt stop crying.. After that his family was called we took Sidney back to his home where he is staying till the funeral.. He where a beautifull suit and he just look already on a Angel. Like he always said “Remember me and smile, for it's better to forget than remember me and cry.” Well baby i will try but its so hard, he promised me that he will would never ever leave me.. Its only been yesterday sinds it happend but i still cant believe it he's gone forever? How can a beautiful 19 year old one been gone forever. Its not fair, life's is unfair. He have a place in my heart and he would never leave me there. I hope he is save now and that the other one's that i lost to Heaven take care off him.. Im litterly at my breaking point and i hope that tonight , tomorrow and saturday is going to be verry long, cause i cant handel it right now , knowing that i have only those days where i can touch him, see him and talk to him.. After sunday he's is only in my mind and heart.. I will miss him soo much , and he would be ever missed. 22-03-2013. <3
May 23, 2013