I Miss Him So Much

My boyfriend/fiance passed away august 12, 2009 of an asthma attack, i was with him when it happened. We are both 19 years old. We would have had our 3year anniversary october 4th, we had been friends since the 8th grade though. He was not only my boyfriend but my bestfriend, we lived together for the past 2 years, everything reminds me of him. I cant imagine ever being with someone else. No one can compare to him, he was an amazing person. Im so lost now, we were always together, day and night other than if one of us had to go to work. We had our future all planned out and were looking for a house to buy right before it happened. I feel so alone now.

aaronwalker aaronwalker
18-21, F
4 Responses Aug 25, 2009

I am so sorry, my fiancé passed September of last yr. it was very unexpected & completely changed my life. For a longtime nothing felt real & at times it still doesn't, you aren't alone sweetheart, I lost my world, I just knew him & I would be together all our lives cause I had never felt the way I did ever in my life when I was with him, his smile was my happiness, he was not only my soulmate but my best friend & now he is my angel as is your bf/fiancé is yours, I pray that life will get better for you & believe me I know it doesn't feel possible at all but it will get somewhat better & no it won't change how you miss him cause I'll always miss my fiancé but you will come to realize how precious life is & the love you & your bf/fiancé shared will always be alive & that's what's kept me going.

I'm sorry for your lost. I'm in the same boat kind of. Except I got to little kids. We just had are jr who he and I was excited about. Even once he got here are 11 month old was also in love with her lil brother. Are son was born 12/22/12 and he was shot and killed 1/5/13. First homicide of 2013. It's a horror movie it seems like. My life is miserable af. I can't do anything without him. I don't even care about hanging out with friends, or partying. Nothing feels right without Kingsley in the world, he was are world. Yea I have a support system and my family is showing how much they care which I really appreciate. However I still miss Kingsley. Are family was so perfect. Yea we had ton of fights and arguments but we never let that stop us from making it work. I look at it as the devil just wanted to ruin something perfect. At the same time I feel like God doesn't love me to allow this happen. I feel so cursed. Because it doesn't seem like this would happen to normal people that God care about. I'm dying. If you do move on Godbless u because my life is over. I'm keeping in for our kids, because my baby loved his kids as well I. However it's so hard sometimes. I'm so empty and alone. Kingsley was truly all I had. All I wanted was God Kingsley and my kids. Of course I prayed for my other family too but at the end of the day me and Kingsley worked so hard for are family - and truth be told nothing paid off. I miss him so much. To even think ill never be with him breaks me down 6 feet under. It hurts so bad I just want to end my life sometimes, but of course ill be a lost soul for sure. But if what else to do.! Smoking or drinking ain't working. Sometimes even prayer seems pointless ( even though I know it's not) but this is so hard. This has hurts me more than knowing the fact my father was also killed. My life is really messed up. Yea part of it I blame myself because we all make are own choices, but to lose Kingsley is so heart breaking.

hey im in a very simular situation my boyfriend passed away july 24, 2009 at 19 years old and we had been dating for two years but ive know him forever, he lived down the street from me aand we grew up together ...he was my bestfriend in the entire world. luckily i didnt lose touch with all my girlfriends but .. its not the same ...i dont have my best bud who was always there whenever ....we hung out like non<x>stop and i was like nevr home when he was alive ...things are soo different now ...i hate it ....i think about him all the time and i literally cry everyday still even though its been practically 6 months ...i feel like im never gonna get over him and i dont even know how i would be in a relationship with someone else....ill alwasys have dreams of him coming back which breaks my heart cause i know im never gonna see him again(at least in this world)....i never even saw him after he died ...i think this might be why i have the dreams.....i was out of town when he died and his family had him cremated before i even got home. but i think it would been worse to see him dead.....im so sorry you had to see that happen to your bf ......i hope your doing somewhat better these days....its hard but hopefully someday we can continue livving our lives ...but we'll always hold on to the memory of our boys.

omg im so sorry that is so sad..