My Hero

I was 8 years old when my brother married, I don't remember to much about the wedding.  Shortly after that is when I spent most of my time with him and his wife.  They basically raised me because my mother was just not able to handle me or didn't want to, I don't really know.  The one thing I do know is if it weren't for them I would have never had a real family and home.  Everything I know and everything I am is because of them. 

I lost my brother a year ago to a nasty illness called Lou Gherrick's disease.  We watched helplessly while my brother slipped away from us.  It was so painful to see him suffer and not have a clue on what to do.  The last week of his life my husband and I went to stay with my sister in law to help in any way we could even if only to take the dog out for a walk, or cook dinner, or wash the dishes, We just had to be there and do something, anything.  On Sunday he seemed to be doing better so we decided to go home and go back to work. After all we where only a 3 hr. drive away and would be back if she needed us.  On Tuesday my brother went to heaven.  My husband came to my work to tell me, he knew I wouldn't handle the news well.  When I was called to the front office at first I didn't have a clue till I seen him standing there.  All I remember is yelling NO I must of passed out because the next thing I remember is being in the car going home to pack.  My brother died on the Tuesday of a long weekend so we couldn't do anything till the next Tuesday. 

My last memory of being with my brother is laying next to him and watching TV together that last Sunday we were together.  We got a few giggles over some show.

Big Brother I miss you I know your suffering is over and truly I am glad your not in pain anymore.  But I am selfish and I want you here with us it is so hard with out you.  No one to yell at me, to cut my hair or tease me about  tripping over my own feet.  

raybay53 raybay53
51-55, F
1 Response Jul 7, 2007

Not selfish, im so sorry, you have lovely memories to keep with you always