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My Younger Brother.. My Best Friend..

My father passed away when i was 7 and my brother was 3. After that it was just us three.. my mother had a couple of abusive boyfriends.. so my younger brother and I used to hide into our own world.. it felt safer that way.. We grew up the best of friends.. both looking out for the other. We were never apart... then, we went from having no freedom at all to having all the freedom we wanted due to my mother's new boyfriend.. that's when both of us started to experiment with drugs and the depression basically held us hostage.. my brother kept things bottled up inside more than I did.. and started using more drugs.. hanging out with the  wrong crowd. Itried helpinghim so many times.. I tried going over my mother's head to get a court order for him to get help, but my mother wouldn't have it.. she thought I was saying she was a bad mother, and I shouldn't tell my therapist all of this ..blah..blah.. friends of my brother's were having him hide herion in my house.. I didn't knowwhat to do anymore.. it got physical , but I knew it was because of his  mentality and the ongoing drug problem. .. I never gave up on him, though.. I tried so hard toget him psychiactric help and drug treatment, but it always failed... we ended up getting evicted from our home and my brother was facing drug charges. My mother had to move to public housing .. my brother had no where to go.. he couldn't live with my mother, due to public housing not allowing him on the property. He moved in with a friend, and was helping out an elderly man with his home and transportation.. I thought he was really getting things together ... I ended up staying with him for a while, and we still stuck together like glue.. he told me how much he appreciated my persistance on getting him help.. he talk me that he loved me for trying to help him because he does need it.. so we tried .... I got him insurance to see a therapist and to goto outpatient treatment...I wasn't going to let anything happen to my baby bro.. Later ,, I got my own apartment, and lived on my own....he loved it.. He used to come by with his new girlfriend, and we had some great times ... He was doing real good.. then, some people from his past came into his life again and he was trying drugs again.. He was out of it all the time.. he kept telling me.. " I just smoked a joint.. that's alll.."... but I knew my brother.. I knew that he was doing something  so much stronger than pot. .. anyway... he later met a girl. this girl had all the drug connections you could imagine.. so he broke up withhis current girlfriend, and started a " relationship" with thisnew girl.. they werealways messed up.. their eyes were hardly open half the time.. it was so sad and scary.. On May 26 2005, my brother died. .. this is how it started.. my mother, who lived across the way frm this new girl, heard pounding on her door.. there she was... she was all drugged up.. looked likeshe had just done herion, and said that she could not wake my brother up.. my mother ran over to her apartment and started cpr on my brother.. no luck./. she called me while she was doing cpr.. crying.. tellling me ot get over there and help her.. while she was tryingto save him, tghe father told my mother to leave and get my brother's body out of there so they do n't lose their apartment!! it was so sick.. the police , etc, got there and transprted him with no luck.. he passed away frm methadone and antidepressants..there isso much more to this story that I want to share, but I can't right now,.. it's so much trauma.. all i know is that I miss him soooooooooo much.. i want him back.. he didn't have to die.. he was only 20..  i need him .. i need strength.. I feel like I can't live without him..

hmd8980 hmd8980 26-30, F 4 Responses Feb 5, 2008

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My brother died dec 26 2011 he died from methadone as well. I found him the morning of our snowboard trip. This is a senseless drug and senseless death. I will fight back , anything it takes..

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John chapter 16 verse 33, in the Bible, kneel down and pray to Jesus, He will fill up the place in you which was vacated by your brother and will walk by you side by side. Just READ the real story on the following link. God Bless You kid.<br />
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http://www.prayertoweronline.org/archive/messages/1013.html<br />
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After reading the above article you will see a short prayer, you will love to say that to Jesus. God Bless You.

i'm sorry for your loss. i lost my brother Matthew 11/10/04. he was 18. i cant say that we had the same childhood but i do know what you're going through. its hard to lose your best friend

I lost my younger 17-year-old brother 3 months ago, doesn't seem like that long, and i feel just how you do. It feels like it's just me now and I really don't know how to go on without him. So, I guess I don't have any advice but just know that my heart goes out to you. To have gotten through all of those things in your life (that you shouldn't have had to deal with), shows that you must have some amazing inner strength that you may not yet realize.