Bret Butler Born Dec 3 1994-may 23-2012

My big bro Bret Butler was born into a "rich" AR family. Bret had everything, money, friends, looks and any thing Ells u can emagen. His tall 6ft6 200lb frame with brown hair and brown eyes that had that beautifull sparkle that seemed to stare into your soul. with smooth tan skin And the perfect 6 pack would steal any girls heart. Even some of the guys would look at him and say damn. Some times when we would go some where he wouldn't ware a shirt cuz he new the girls loved it and the guys were jealous. Momma allways said he was to sexy for his own good. And he new it and showd it as much as he could. And he had that body and style that girls would go crazy if he lit a cigarette in front of them. All his girl friends thaught he was so sexy when he smoked. Even the non smokers loved it. He was verry tall and he would stand verry close to you so you had no choice but to admire his looks. He was verry active and enjoyd his life. Me and Bret were VERRY close. We did everything together and never had a fight. He was allways in excellent health, untill winter of this year. He went hunting in the rain all day. He ended up with pneumonia but he never went to the Dr. And sense our parents were never around no one ever made him go. I took care of him while he was sick untill some how it just went away, we thaught. He was able to get out of bed and walk and do what ever just about. But he never was the same tho. He was breathing verry fast and he never seemed to really catch his breath. But he also smoked, ALLOT. We both did. He said he was not going to go to the Dr untill one day he tryed to walk to the 3rd floor of our house where his bedroom was. He made it up the first 7 steps. That was it. For about a week he had to sleep in the extra bed room on the 1st floor. And I was sleeping in the bed with him cuz after he quit eating and lost allot of waight and his hair going from dark brown to blond I was scared and wasent sure if he would be here much longer. Then one night I woke up in the bed with him with my hand on his chest. I felt his heart racing and he was breathing verry heavy. I jumped up and turn the light on and he was turning kinda a blue color. I woke him up and he jumped up and took a BIG gasp and finely caught his breath enough he could get his close on. He told me to get dressed and meat him out front. I did. I stood there for just a lill bit then I herd his new Dodge Dielel start up on the other side of the house. He drove to the hospital. Wow. He spent the night in the hospital and the next day he was scheduled for surgery on Monday for something that was caused by the pneumonia. His surgeon was not the best for the job. They damaged his heart bad. He was not expected to make it through the night. Well he did. He could walk and talk but not much Ells. Tuesday night me and Bret went out to have a few smokes. He told me he loved me and he wishes he could stick around. I started to cry so him being the loving big bro he was he held me and said he was sorry cuz in his mind this was his fault. Shortly after we went back in he passed out. So I got in the bed with him and held him in my right arm and layed my head on his chest where I could hear his heart and feel him breath. After around 10 min's his heart started to slow. His breathing slowed to. Then he took one big deep breath then his heart stoped. As the breath left his body I started to cry. He was only 17 with his hole life to live. Only one year older than me. I was the only person that new just how bad he was. I was the only one that took care of him from the time he first got sick untill he passed. And I am lucky because I know how much he loved me and he new how much I loved him. He took care of me when I was sick and when the time came I had to be there when he needed me. He dident want anyone to see him when he was sick other than me. He dident want me to leav his side. Telling Bret's story was something I hoped would help me deal with the pain. In a way it did. Feal free to comment. Some how talking about him helps. It brings back good memories. I miss him so much I started smoking as much as I can in a day cuz I hope my life is cut short because I want to be with god and my big bro. If going to hevin when u die and seeing ur loved ones is true I can't wait to get up there and put my arms around him and tell him I love him and be with him for ever.
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May 27, 2012