Missing My Big Brother!

My brother passed away suddenly when he was only 27. He would be turning 32 this December. People say you will get over it, but I don't think thats true. He left behind 3 children and will miss out on them growing up. I think about my brother every day. He was my best friend, and I was his! I miss him dearly and with the holidays around and his birthday coming, it's always harder not having him there. A piece of me was left behind the day he died. There's a hole in my heart that will never be replaced by anyone or anything. A good analogy I think about is a giant hole that suddenly and inexplicably appears in my living room floor. I couldn't prevent it from happening, and for the rest of my life I will wish it weren't there' that my living room was like it used to be, like everyone elses. At first, I fell into the big hole constantly, because it was new and unavoidable. But, as I live with it longer, it doesn't get any smaller; I just sort of get used to it being there. Sometimes I fall into it, but generally not as often, and each time it gets easier to get back out. And sometimes I choose to climb down in the hole for awhile, because I need to, and then I will climb back out again when I'm ready. But if I try to deny the hole is there, or believe that it will somehow go away, I'll hurt even more. Day by day, we learn to cope, thats all we can do!
GodsGal30 GodsGal30
3 Responses Dec 7, 2012

That is a really good analogy. My older brother passed away last Saturday and we laid him to rest yesterday. I have felt like there is this huge gaping hole inside of me, I feel like you described it perfectly.

My husband snores beside me as silently the tears fall, I know this black hole too well. Love & strength xxx

awww that sad sorry for your loss and his kids loss, keep ur chin up. if not for yourself then for his kids. im sure hed want u all to be strong x