My brother was murdered last month. And I don't know how to go on with my life. I can sleep and I cry every night. I'm on Xanax to help me stay sane. I wonder to myself if this feeling is ever going to go away. Everyone tells me it's going to get better but they don't know. I really just want him back. I think that one day he's going to walk in the door. Easter is on Sunday and I don't want to celebrate it nor any holiday. I feel lost, stressed, confused, alone. I can't even go in his room. I don't know what I'm going to do with everything in there. I miss him. I wish I could just hug him one last time. I wish he would come to me in my dreams. I haven't dreamed of him yet. I pray for him to come to me.