I Just Wanna Talk To Him One More Time!

 I lost my brother on 1-30-2008, and it has turned my world upside down. Over and Over in my head that day at the hospital replays, and I have nightmares about it all the time. This month Aug 16th he would have turned 29 years old; he has two little boys that now have to grow up without their father, my parents without their son and my sisters and I without our brother.
He got sick when he was 22 with congested heart failure (his heart didnt beat the way it should, and he needed a new one) November 4th, 2007 he walked into the hospital to get a system that would help pump his heart called the I-vad. He was told by his team of doctors that it would make him better until he could get his new heart. He never made it out of the hospital, he got worse from day one of being in there he was better off before he went into the hospital. He might not of had a life out of the house but he was still alive and now I always wonder if he never went to get the I-vad would he still be here? Could he still be here with his family, could his boys still have their father? Things that I will never know and I just dont feel that fair to any of us!!!! I miss him more and more everyday, just wish he could still be here with all of us!!!! I just wish I could have told him I love him more, I wish I could have done a lot more with him!!!!!!
stoutgirl23 stoutgirl23
22-25, F
Aug 7, 2010