I Miss My Victor Baby Cat!!!

Hi everyone, I'm new here and I've never grieved so much over a pet in my entire life. I'm distraught because my 8 month old kitty, Victor, got hit by a car yesterday afternoon and died. :( I miss him more than any other pet I've ever lost. It started out like a normal day, my friend Judy came over and visited my mom and I. Later on, my adopted mom and I were barbecuing chicken on the grill. I stayed outside and watched the grill and my mom was inside making the pasta. I try so hard to keep our cats from going outside, but it's impossible when you have several kitties crowding around the door and you try to push them back but at least one or two of them will always find a way to wiggle around your ankles and head out the door. While I was outside turning the food over on the grill, Victor was outside, I got distracted by a car coming with this Bozo bopping up and down to music in his car and didn't realize Victor was crossing the road at the time. The idiot's car swerves over towards the curb where Victor was crossing the road, and he would have made it had the car went straight rather than taking a sudden swerve. Poor Victor got hit and I panicked as I saw Victor tumble over on the grass :( The a$$hole drove off and didn't even care about what had happened. I picked up my sweet Victor and I died on the inside as his body felt limp. I hurried inside to get my mom and she rushed us over to the vet to see if there was anything they could do, but they said he was already gone :'( It was then I just started crying uncontrollably, it felt like the end of the world. The vet got a towel to wrap sweet Victor's body in, and we took him home and buried him in our backyard. I hate myself and still feel the guilt, if I had rushed out to the middle of the road when I had my chance to stop the driver, Victor would still be here now. I feel like I failed Victor, it was my responsibility to protect him as well as the other kitties.  I feel so lost and empty without Victor in my life, he was like a child to me. Even though 8 months isn't a long time to have a pet, I loved and cared for Victor from the time he was born. His mom (one of our other kitties) Allie had given birth to Victor and his sisters in the closet while we were visiting relatives over the weekend. We came home and found Allie and her babies in my closet, and watched them grow from there. I love each and every one of them, but Victor became my special one. I gave them individual love and attention, but bonded with Victor the most and he became my favorite. He would climb down my shoulder while I would be stretching out on the sofa and would snuggle on my chest for almost an hour at times. He would close his eyes and purr contentedly while I would stroke his soft fur. I would snuggle with the other kitties as well, but I had to almost beg them to snuggle with me, whereas with Victor, he would come to me on his own. I don't understand why God had to let him die at such a young age, he was still practically a baby. He had his whole life ahead of him and a family that loved him, including his momma, Allie, and his sisters, Cocoa, Cupcake, and Pumpkin. I don't understand the point of God bringing Victor into our lives, giving us so much love and happiness, and suddenly take him from us after 8 months. It seems way too unfair and I wish God would have put Victor's soul back to his body and gave him another chance to be with us. When I woke up this morning, my grief was at its peak, because I've become so accustomed to waking up to Victor being curled up next to me. Every morning when I'd wake up, he'd always be there, and it didn't seem right waking up and realizing Victor was gone. When I was a child, I lost a black and white kitty I had named Fluffy, after ten years of him being with us to feline leukemia. I grieved and took his death very hard too, but this experience with losing Victor was different because I never saw it coming and expected to have many more years with him. It's so hard to come to terms with the fact I'll never see Victor's sweet face again or snuggle him in my arms again :( I'm glad I have my mom to help me get through this, she's been so patient and comforting me. Home just doesn't seem the same without Victor around. He had the kind of energy about him that could light up an entire room. He had something special and unique about him that made him stand out. He had so much character and vitality, and was also so loyal and affectionate. He was everything I could love in a kitty cat. I feel so hopeless because I know no matter what I do or say, nothing is going to bring him back. :'(
catlover91 catlover91
18-21, F
4 Responses Apr 28, 2012

I know how this feel, my cat got hit by a car the day before yesterday. Still cant believe it, that cat means everything for me. I either heard today that my cats mom, had new kitties on the day my cat past. Now he was a big Brother. Your story feels like its mine, just cant describe the accect things are in it like it happened to me. Just a regular fathersday and than your day is destroyed. You can read my story if you want to. I sometime think; could I have done something against it? But no, i wasnt even there when he passed :'( but I know when I read your story, you couldnt help it, it was just the wrong moment and the wrong place for Victor. Just like with my cat (Dobby <3) I hope you find a way to rest it, and think about what an happy and joyful live he had, whit his mom and you and your other Cats. Only the end was a little less. But I know dobby and Victor are looking down to us.

Dear catlover91, first I would like to thank you for your kind words. I've been a cat person all my life and inevitably many cats have come and gone. I have always cared for all animals ive been responsible for but there have always been a few that distinguised themselves from the others. In all cases the have been kittens that have been rescued from an in any other case inevitable death. The fact that they where motherless is probably one of the main factors in the deep bonds I have had with these animals. What I try to hang on to is the fact that my cat was a happy, well behaved, not a mean bone in her body, playful thing that enjoyed every moment. When sitting at my desk she would jump up onto my keyboard and I would hold her cradled in my arm so that I could work. She would sleep and you could see her dreaming her playful dreams (running - chasing). Basically she would play when awake and play when asleep. That is what I try to remember. It wasn't a long life but it was a good one. Remember, what you got from your cat is in reality what you put into him... Be well...

Thanks, Bubbarice. I'm still grieving over Victor, and trying to learn how to cope with this loss. I just couldn't believe how suddenly I lost him. One minute everything's normal and peachy, the next thing I know, Victor's gone from my life forever :'( My life and my home feel so empty without him around. He was really therapeutic for me, he could sense when I was feeling sick or depressed and would cuddle with me and make me feel better. It's too quiet here at home without him because he was the life of the party when he was here and played with his siblings. I think the hardest for me is coping with the way I lost him and could have saved him had I intervened sooner. I feel like I failed him and his precious little life was taken from him at only 8 months. Just the notion that his body is in the backyard when he should be here at home with his family just tears me apart. I really want Victor back in my life so much, but feel hopeless because I know there's nothing I can do. The only consolation I can hold onto is that he's happy where he is and hopefully knows how much he was loved and cherished in his life. I hope I'll get to see him again when my time comes, but until then I'll go on missing him :(

wow I feel everything you are saying, they mean more to me then humans!!!! everything happens for a reason, obvioulsy he was a angle and they needed him for other work!?! who knows I know I miss my baby boy Bubba to, thank god for people like us who care for these amazing creatures, just know he will be in everyone of his sisters and brothers, and when you pass you two will meet again!!!!!!!