I Lost My Cat... Feline Leukemia... But An Incompetant Vet.


My cat, my life, my baby died a week ago........ I hated cats before, but one of my friends made me take the citten as for the mommy abandoned her... when I took her... we discovered she was only 3 weeks old... I gave her bottle... she became my 'special child"... she drank bottle (just for fun) up to 8 months old... she came to work with me every day... she loved driving in my car and would jump in as soon as i opened my door... she ate with me, she slept with me, played, drove, went on holiday............everywhere i was, there was she....

 

Well about 3 weeks ago she started looking sick.. i took her to the vet.... the blood test came back...She was diagnosed with Feline Leukemia.....she was only 2,5 years old... so I gues she got it from her stray mommy.... 

 

I got antibiotics etc... cause they needed to do a second test to confirm the Leukemia in two weeks time.... but 2 days after i took her home.... she pulled stiff and cried of pain.... my heart just broke.... I could'nt bare to see her suffer like this....

 

 

It was time for her to go.... We went to the vet... obviously my decision was to hold her until she peacefully died... I held her, the vet stuck the needle in her front leg... she missed... she tried again... she missed... I left the room... my cat was crying and screaming.... the vet came out and explained that the only other way is to stick the needle directly into her heart... I asked if I could say goodbye... when i saw her... she was full of blood... they poked at her chest, legs.. tummy...she looked at me, she cried... she swallowed heavily cause of being stressed....

I left........



Reading up on this... this method is banned in most countries in the world.....And if it is allowed.. the animal must be heavily sedated....

My BABY died.. stressed... jabbed with a needle in her heart while 100% conscious.....



I CAN'T TELL YOU GUYS THE EXTREME SADDNESS I FEEL!!!! I LOST MY COMPANION, MY FRIEND, MY BABY, ... EVERY BIT OF LOVE AND CARE I HAD IN ME I GAVE TO HER.

 

every where i go, at work inmy car my bed.... she is gone, i feel so so so empty!!!

 

but the worst of all is.... i feel that it was my fault.....like i have MURDERED HER.....

 

when the  vet so brutally euthenized her... i should have took her... but i cried so much and i was so stressed and confused....

 

the point is... she was really sick... and it needed to be done.....i could have kept her alive for me.... BUT she would have suffered....

 

 

i miss her so much, and i feel so guilty for the way she had to leave the earth.... i will never get over this.....
TUNEP TUNEP
31-35, F
3 Responses Feb 15, 2010

What a precious baby She is. I know your pain. You sound like you have a lot of love to give. When your heart mends I pray that you adopt another little someone to love. I see your date of 2010. I pray there is another little someone in your life. God Bless you sweet girl. We lost our guy this morning. I am sure the pain will intensify over time as we come to miss sweet Danny. Danny was a tuxedo cat and quite precious too.

My kitty past away today from feline leukemia, he was 1 year old. He was so beautiful, so full of life and so happy and playful! He was with me all the time, he was my life, my baby and my eveything! Less than a week ago he started acting sad, so I took him to the vet, he was diagnosed with feline leukemia and had a terrible anemia, I took my baby home with me and he looked like he was in pain, he couldn't fall asleep, he wouldn't eat or use the litter box anymore, I kept him one more night with me, and today I took him to the vet and I stayed with him hugging him, kissing him and letting him know that I loved him! And that I was sorry for letting him down, I am hurting so bad right now, idk if I can go through this without him, I wanna ask you how u did it?? Bc honestly it feels so unreal that my baby is gone and I can't accept it still, and I feel like I let him down bc I feel it was my fault he got sick, I got to be with him until the end, but now my life without him seems impossible

I am shattering for you. I KNOW how you feel. I do. And nothing I say will actually comfort you for a long time. But I can try. First, you didn't hurt her. You feel you betrayed her, didn't protect her. I know. And I know it haunts you. I am enraged at the vet on behalf of both of you. Be sure to demand the clinical records and DO report her. You must protect others. And that will help you. Do it in your baby's name. Second, I learned the hard way that cats being euthanized cry out. It cuts to your heart. But our vet is incredibly accomplished and wonderfully compassionate. He explained to me, point by point, why they do, and normally it isn't from pain your situation was different, horrifying. But, hon, she is beyond that now and may already be choosing her next life. I do believe cats come around again; I actually have an experience that validates my belief. Ask me sometime. But if you feel you let her down (even though you didn't; the "vet" did), then there is a karmic debt between you. She'll come back to you and you, with greater wisdom from hard experience, will balance things. Your beloved cat is not suffering now and is not tortured by your "betrayal". She isn't. YOU are. And I can't ease that at all. But by all that is sacred, I can empathize and I can be here for you. It will ease. But do be proactive about that vet; report her to the AVA and maybe even the local newspaper. It isn't slander or libel if it's true. You may not be the first she has harmed. It's in your power to honor your beloved cat by protecting others. Now you have time to think and to act and react without the horror and confusion and inexperience crippling your actions. Turn your grief and torment into power. Blessed be