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Just Right

I can still feel that low hum or deep ohm of the motor harmonizing with the dim yellow, vibrating dash lights. I remember laying over on my left side with my head in my mothers lap as she drove us home. I often staired up through the windshield and watched the trees and telephone poles flicker by as my eyes stayed focused on the still white moon. The bumps in the road always put me to sleep and then woke me back up again. The radio played in the background barely audible as we wound our way home on those long country roads. My mind was empty of all the frustrations and disappointments of the now forgotten day. There was only the warm air from the heater vents moving over the contours of my face. I was at peace in that car on those nights and now part of me can't help but regret that we never crashed and died on one of those late night drives, when everything was just right.

CopperCoil CopperCoil 36-40, M 6 Responses May 26, 2008

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i'll pm you with my reply :)

Well, you said, "I was at peace in that car on those nights and now part of me can't help but regret that we never crashed and died on one of those late night drives, when everything was just right." and "for me having died yesterday, or to die today or even tomorrow makes little difference. for the way i see things, death itself is only symbolic, though the suffering that can leads to it, or the fear that often preceeds it is all too real."<br />
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I don't believe that suffering and fear are "real"... I see them as like inner weather patterns that our minds generate, like clouds that pass thru the sky, or hurricanes. Same for memories, regrets. These are thought patterns our minds generate... Perhaps we don't disagree, cause its not that they are unreal so much as they flow by, without substance.<br />
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Reality, for me, is more like what you described in your camping story. The rocks and mountains, ocean, sky, forests, birds flying overhead, sand between your toes. Levels of reality though, is probably more accurate. There is the inner reality of our experiences, and then the outer reality of this entire Universe. I just tend to look at the outer reality as primary, so that in a sense things are just *perfect* at every moment, "out there," and its just our inner world, our thoughts and feelings, that may prevent us from seeing that.<br />
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I may not have answered your question, and you are right, we may not disagree.<br />
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:^)

where are we in disagreement? what have i said specifically that you disagree with?

yeah. i kinda agree, about death. its about living where we seem to disagree. i dunno. as you know, i'm kinda "Zen" about this life we live. The ego is an illusion, what Buddhists and Hindus call the "false-I"... and from that view it is the way that the false-I thinks, that causes all our suffering. "All life is suffering" was the first thing the Buddha taught, its called the First Noble truth, but then he went past that to show we can find peace in this world, if we say goodbye to the false-I and all its head trips. You may disagree completely, and I dont wanna go into a full Buddhist sales pitch here... Just wanted to make the point that this is what Buddha recognized as well, its what sent him out the door, leaving his kingdom and family behind, to try and figure out. It was a starting point of realization, for him, but only the beginning...

for me having died yesterday, or to die today or even tomorrow makes little difference. for the way i see things, death itself is only symbolic, though the suffering that can leads to it, or the fear that often preceeds it is all too real. however, death itself is just a concept, a mask of the unknown.

I was riding along with ya buddy, right up till that last sentence. I dunno. To me its a miracle that all of us are here on this planet now. Its deeply beautiful at times, sometimes there is lonliness and sadness, but we are here. What a trip! One day you will die, I will die, everyone dies, but up until then there are so many opportunities to help make this world a better place...