My Dad,

My father passed away in mid October 2012 and it has been really tough on me. My father passed away suddenly one afternoon from a rupture in his aorta. It was obviously a shock when I received the phone call from my mother telling me the news. I was walking up the stairs to put an empty glass in the sink. She asked me if I was sitting down, to which I shrugged off with a bit of confusion. She then told me that my father was in a car accident and that he didn't survive. My body suddenly froze and the only thing I could say is WHAT? Several days later we found out that his passing was caused by a fatal tear in his aorta, not from the impact of his car crashing into a parked tractor trailer, which is where he was found. It just so happened that he was driving at the time.

What has been incredibly bittersweet over the past month and a half is that eight days before my father passed away my first child was born. It was so hard for me to lose my father right after the first week of learning as a parent just how much you love your children. I mean, as kids we all know that our parents love us, but we really have no idea just how much they do love us. Not until we have kids of our own and have that love for them, it is the only way to understand that kind of love. Newly realizing how much my father loved me continues to really hurt and I don't think that I will ever get past it. I love my son and my father always told me that being a grandparent was ten times the joy of being a parent for the first time. This was supposed to be the happiest time in me and my wifes lives. My dad was supposed to cash in on being a grandparent, it was supposed to be the 10X happiest time in his life. I just don't understand it and probably never will.

Now when I come home from work i am always so excited to see my son, but thoughts of my father are always following close behind. Some days are more peaceful than others but some days the unfairness of it all shows more than I would like it to.

I feel like I've been ripped off of having a father, and worse than that I feel like my father got ripped off of his own life. He wasn't supposed to die...ever. He was my dad, and if it's one thing I know it's that dads aren't supposed to die.

My dad wasn't the best communicator, he was a real mans man. He used electrical tape for band-aids. I just hope that he knew and understood how much I love and respect him as a father and a person, and always will. If there is one thing that I can promise its that my son will grow up knowing who his grandfather was. I owe it to my father, to my son and to myself never to forget everything that my father has taught me throughout my life. I miss him so incredibly much.
Marinor Marinor
1 Response Nov 29, 2012

My mom passed away the same way. It's so fast it's unreal.I still doesn't seem real. I feel like she will pop up someday and the nightmare will be over I had a business with her and the insurance company won't cover it since its not in the policy