Missing My Dad Every Day

I grew up without my dad and now that I am older we have a great relationship. I've only gotten to see him twice within the last 4 years and it really kills me. I miss him terribly and I am always feeling like something is missing, that I am not complete.  I just thank God that I can speak with him on the phone whenever I want.

SteelCityGirl74 SteelCityGirl74
41-45, F
1 Response Jul 10, 2007

You've no idea how refreshing it is to hear about a loving bond between a child and his/her dad. I'm really happy for you that you've had a chance to connect with your dad. You wouldn't believe how many guys I know that are dads...err...non-custodial parents...in which hardly ever get the chance to be with their flesh and blood...no matter how hard they try...even beyond hitting bottom financially just to see their kids. I'm one of them. However, my prayers were answered fully when it was 5 years ago...I thought i'd never get to see my son again....ever. I missed the first part of my son's life...and not by choice. However, I was still condemned as a non-caring father, and a dead beat...which was so far from the truth. I've ALWAYS been responsible, and paid any child support as an obligator. I've always tried to be there for my son regardless. With the family court/divorce industry, and to my personal experiences...it was impossible to be heard, or taken seriously. I was looked down upon no matter what I did. I found out very quickly that our courts and politics don't care about kids at all...not one bit... but only the all mighty dollar. Today, regardless of any financial hardship, or to be injured and not able to work...A father is desitined for prison. But that is before his driver license is removed to prevent him to further better himself when hit by unfortunate events. But try explaining that to a politician who only wants to see money coughed up without relent. Again, its not about the children at all. In this very process, it is the CHILDREN who suffer. Yes, as that child grows, he/she is deprived of the loving hands and nurture of a dad. I realize that not all dads are pushed out of a child's life post divorce. However, it is the very norm. And we've accpeted it as "thats just the way it is". Not I. I faught a battle and blew the doors off the hinges to be with my son I love so much. I never realized the criticism I'd receive. I was told many of times, as a man, its not my place to be with my own child, and to let it go. Some told me, "well its cuz you faught the battle and now with your son..." My reply to them? "Why must any loving parent battle just to be with their own flesh and blood?" You wouldn't believe how many people stopped dead in their tracks upon my reply. Its time for a change of heart... for our kids, and for everyone.