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Wounds Which Cannot Be Healed.

Hello everyone,

It's a year and a half since my father passed away.He was 59. It is just hard to believe that someone who you cared about so much, someone who you thought is going to be with you always just leaves you like that stranded in the crowd.

I still remember that night when my dad had a heart attack. My mother and myself managed to get him to hospital on time. We were so worried and scared and began fervently praying to god to protect him. The doctors shifted him into the emergency and told us that they are not in a position to say whether he will be fine or not.

I contacted my sister who works as an architect about the situation and spent the entire night in the hospital. My hands are still trembling in fear as I type this. I still remember mother trying not to burst into tears so that I wont start crying. It was really hard for me to see mother in such a state and impossible to see my father in this condition. I was so confused and scared. I did not expect such turn of events so soon.

Next day morning he was shifted into another hospital since it has all the required facilities for angioplasty. All were in waiting room for like a hour and a half. When the surgeon came out of OT all of us huddled around him and he told us that he is out of danger for now. Finally we began to see a ray of hope and i was happy that dad will be fine. Myself and my sister stayed in hospital and my mom will be at home with her elder brother(my uncle). Two days later my uncle decided to take my turn so that i can go home and be with mom.

On the same day at 5 am, I got call from my sister she was saying come to the hospital. I asked why but she did not give a satisfactory answer. I began to get a bad feeling about this rushed to hospital along with mother. My father passed away at 4:30 am due to a cardiac arrest. Cold chills ran down my spine. I could not move at all. It felt like my whole world came crashing upon me. How could he leave just like that? such questions came up in my mind and i have no answers for them till date. When i saw my father's body i felt like i am going to pass out. Never in my life i felt a pain in my heart that made me so weak that i could barely think straight.

How could this happen all of a sudden? When i saw his body, all the sweet memories we had flashed through my head like photos. Never in my life i felt how it is to lose someone who is your world. Now the world itself shattered. The person who was with us all these years now is just a memory. Everybody said time can heal anything, but it's not that easy. I still feel the sadness inside my heart as i felt that day. It is one such pain that cannot be healed because the wounds keep opening every time you think about the person or see the things he loved and used in his lifetime.I still feel the sadness flowing through me as i type.

Sorry for my grammar
Thanks.
innerdelirium innerdelirium 22-25, M Mar 4, 2012

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