Breakdown

me and my dad were so close, everyone always said we are alike. But he had this horrible depression because of some plans that fell through for him, and he was severely depressed for a good 2 years. So about 3 months ago he committed suicide, and nobody but my family knows that he did it. it's the hardest thing in the world to get over something like this, because only when the person is gone do you realize all the warning signs you missed. I keep pretending that i'm okay and it doesn't bother me, but every time i'm alone i just break down and cry like no other, because now i have so many regrets when it comes to him. But anyway, yeah, i miss my dad. a lot.
snickersbar snickersbar
18-21, F
1 Response Apr 3, 2007

I'm not going to say I know how I feel, because everyone's experiences are different. But my Dad passed in October. He didn't commit suicide, but he was an alcoholic, and abused himself in that way so much that he did become depressed, he suffered from gout and avoided the Doctor's. Then he died from a pulmonary embolism. I still think 'what could I have done?'. You think about whether you should've talked more, whether you should've lived near him, gone to see him more, then maybe you could've persuaded him to go to the hospital? But those things are just guilt, there's nothing to say you could have done anything. They were their own people, and as close as you are to someone, they will still make their own decisions. So please don't blame yourself, or have lots of regrets, I'm sure he wouldn't have wanted that.