He's Been Mostly Gone For Awhile

My father disappeared slowly and quietly, and it was a gradual process.

I never felt very close to him, but I always wished that we had been closer.

Now he is a shell of who he was, barely present anymore.  Cancer, pain, and painkillers have taken him away from this world for the most part.  There is still a shell of a man left, but he's mostly gone.

Needless to say, I see this as one of the downsides of modern medicine.  It would have been much better for him to have a quicker, easier death.

ag123 ag123
11 Responses Jun 17, 2008

I'm going to see my dad on Sept. 4th-he's in hospital in Fla. in the end stages of COPD-I'm so thankful for what he and I shared --I'm still his little girl, he still calls me sweetheart and tells me every time we talk "remember sweetheart, I love you!" I will treasure that forever!

Yes I always thought it would be good to get old but now I'm not so sure....yet they still get some sort of enjoyment from life, but its such a struggle I wonder.

lostbird -- In certain circumstances, getting old can be extremely cruel.

((HUGS)) from me too. I know what you mean.....I miss my Mum too though she's still alive, dementia has taken its toll, and its also painful seeing my Dad struggle to cope with her.

Thanks MD.

{{{{{BrutMystik}}}}} -- Thanks.

Hi Alan...<br />
<br />
((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))<br />
<br />
Modern medicine has it's pro's and con's, that is for sure...

SFM & JJ -- Thank you.

It isn't over til it's over. Maybe is waiting to hear I love you, so he can leave and know his life had meaning. Maybe is waiting so his son can say I love you, so his son's life will have more meaning than his life. Maybe this is the life lesson he has left to the end.

trailguide -- Thank you. It seems that the mentality of extending life at all costs loses the perspective of what it means to live a good life and have a good death.

The downside of modern medicine is that it can take away what we all wish for ..death with dignity. It's so hard to watch. Just try to remeber the man he really is Alan and not what cancer and treatment turned him into. That's what i do when i think of my dad. <br />