Broken HeartToday is the one year anniversary of his death. My dad was very special to me. I was his princess.
The story took over a year of my life.
The beginning started on a Friday morning when my dad had woke me up earlier than I normally got up for work. He said didn't feel good & thought he might have had a heart attack. So I jumped out bed & got dressed in a hurry like a crazy person, while he went & got my mom up.
Next I called my job to let them know that I was not coming in for the half day I was working, because I had made plans to finish signing up for my master's degree program. (This was in December 2010.) Then drove to the emergency room to get my dad checked out.
I left my parents at the hospital & went to my appointment. I got all the paperwork done & was set to start at the end of January. Well when I got back to he was still in the ER but they were admitting him for more test to be done.
The next morning the phone rang & it was my dad telling me he had cancer. I know had to tell my mom before the doctor called. I had her sit down at the kitchen table & told dad just called & the doctor would be calling. I told her it was cancer & I thought she was going to pass out on me. We talked a couple minutes & then the doctor called. Told her what it was & more tests were needed. The doctor also said my dad would be there at least 5 days. Next mom & I got dressed & packed a bag for dad. It turns out he was in the hospital for 10 days & missed Christmas with the family. He was upset about that.
The diagnosis came to be stage 4 Lung Cancer with 2 extra lesion. OMG my mom was freaked & me too. I went looking online as soon as I got home. I found out most people live an average of 6 to 8 months. OMG I was shocked, but after talking with the doctor & reading the paperwork that was filled out for me for work, my dad would lucky to make June 2011. Well I now was in school full-time &working full-time & running from doctor to doctor for my dad.
This went on for months and soon it was June & he was still with us. He has beaten the odds already. Now time for new paperwork for me for work & things just kept rolling. Until my mom's birthday at the end of November. We went out to dinner & my dad was really off & not right.
Now it's mid December on Thursday the 22nd & my uncle Bill takes dad to breakfast. The 2 of them would go all the time. The 2 brothers out for their morning adventure at about 6am. This was the last time they ever went to breakfast again. Now on Friday we went to the doctor appointment & it was decided that it was time for hospice to come in. My mom decided that they should come after Christmas because dad wanted the holiday with the family. So we had family & friends over. I cooked the food for dinner & we got dad up to the table but he didn't eat anything. But he sat with us.
The hospice company came in on Monday morning & I had to sign all of papers because I had the power of attorney. I felt horrible but knew it was the best thing for him. The hospice nurse came on Wednesday mid day & told my mom he was in transition & would be in less than a week. I was at work but came home when my mom called. My mom never called me home unless it was a extreme emergency. So work said go, I grabbed my stuff & left.
Now I was up late so that I could work on my homework because of class. I would send my mom to bed early so she would get up with him in the morning & I would do the late night shift. It was fine because I was always working on homework. My dad was awake when I gave him his 10pm meds on Wednesday night & I talked to him & told him I loved him. I decided to go to bed early because I needed some sleep and the next med time was 2am.
My mom was already awake, it was about 5 minutes to 2am. The alarm had not gone of yet. She had a look on her face that told me something was wrong. My instincts were right. Mom said he was gone. I lost it. I completely freaked out because he was fine less than 4 hours ago. I was the last person to be with him. My mom knew in her heart he was gone & she didn't want me to find him.
Well that was one year ago today, December 29, 2011. Well I miss him so much but I am comforted by the fact that he is not suffering. My dad made all of his goals except for one, and that was watching me finish my degree in June 2012. Yes I did graduate and did it with honors too.
I know he is always with as my guardian angel, but I still miss him so much. I loved him. I know he is in my heart forever and will continue to be very proud of me everyday.
I love him & will never forget him.