Changed

There comes a moment in all our lives that we have to accept we are growing up and will face hardships in our lives. To some it comes when it should, to others it comes late, and there are those few that it comes to early. We all think that we have it worst and i won't deny that i think that sometimes. I'm in those few that had to face hardships early...maybe a little too early. February 14, 2008 was the day that my life took an unexpected turn. I was supposed to go to Florida to spend my winter break. Around 1:30-2:00 pm i get called down to the office because i was getting picked up. I pack up happily and everyone wishes me a safe trip and i'm happy. When I get to the main office, my dad is there with two other guys. I was a little curious on who they were. Anyways, my dad signed papers for me to be released but the men still gave me this looks that told me as if they had seen me before. We get into the care and my dad asks how was my day. I answer him regularly and that is when the two men introduced themselves. We go to my dad's jewelry store and they tell me to wait in the car. My dad kisses me on the forehead says e loves me and that he will be right back. I see two more cars arrive and go into the store as well. By this time i'm very curious 9 year old so i start to snoop around the seats. I don't find anything out of the ordinary. I must've been in there for an hour and a half or so but it felt like 5 hours. Around 3:30-4:00 pm my dad and the two men come to the car. I'm in tears because i am a little who really needed to use the bathroom but couldn't tell anyone because no one was around. He looks at me and it was like he thought i was dying because i was crying. He immediately asked me what had happened and if the men had hurt me. I told him no and calmed him, I just simply had to go to the bathroom. One of the men says to use the one in the grocery next door, but my dad says why if i have a store with a much more sanitized bathroom and it's my daughter. So i go into the store and use the bathroom. I come out and it's like i'm Queen Elizabeth because everyone looked at me instantly. We leave the store and i'm hugging my dad in the car because something inside me told me this wasn't right, plus my mom wasn't there and him and my mother are inseparable so that shook me up a bit. We turn onto Junction Ave and the guys start to talk about which was the best way to take the L.I.E. My dad suggests to take some Roosevelt and Main St way. We take the L.I.E to Manhattan. Then we get on to 10 Ave and stop at this pizza place. They ask me if i would like something to eat and i look at my dad he says yes since i hadn't eaten anything since lunch. They bring me a slice of plain pizza with parmesan cheese and a coca-cola. We continue driving and we get to this really secured place. The driver shows a guard at the entrance at that badge. From that moment i couldn't eat anymore. We arrived at this red-lighted floor and we all get out. My dad helps me out with my school stuff and the guys take my trash. We go into the building and it looks really sophisticated at that moment a lady come to me and starts to talk to me. We go into an elevator and my dad is holding my shoulders. We arrive at the floor and there was this light room ahead of me. Everyone started to talk to my dad so i just kept walking and i guess someone saw me going into the room and everyone yelled at me to stop and my dad yelled at them for yelling at me. My dad pulled me back and told that i needed to trust the young man and that i needed to behave and that he loves me and to take care of my mom. He kisses me on the forehead and hands me to the young man. I walk with him and turn around and see my dad talking to the guys and they go into the bright green room with him. I keep walking with the guy and at the end of the hall on the right side there was a room and when i walked him i ran fast to my mom and i could feel her crying she said that she was ok and to sit down. Being the little kid i was i really still wanted to go to Florida so i told her that if my dad finished his business here we could still make it on time to make it to FL. She looked at me and not wanting to crush my spirit said yes of course with a smile of sad and kindness. At like about 5:00 pm i look out the window and see our car being opened and searched and i tell my mom, she comes over and gives a look of anger and sadness and goes back to sitting down with my little brother was sleeping. Around 8:00 pm, one of the guys that was with my dad and i earlier came in and saw that we could go. I was happy but disappointed to because i got to go home i couldn't go to FL. When we reached city level, I expected my dad to be there too waiting for us. They take us to our car and my dad is no where to be seen. I get into the car and sit down and start to cry, making sure my mom didn't see me. The whole ride home i wanted to know where was my dad and if he was ok. We got home around 9:30 pm and changed into more comfortable clothes and just sat in the living room where the once noise was made by the TV because neither of us had a word to say. We went to bed around 11:00 pm and i went to sleep with my mom because without my dad in the house it felt alone and scary. At exactly 12:10 am of the next day the doorbell rang and my mom went to see who it was at this time. I hear a lot of crying and signs and i get up and go. It was him. My dad had come home. At that moment i realized that i had never been so happy to see him in my life. We hugged and cried and laughed and went to bed. The next morning we discussed the day before during breakfast. My parents kept saying it was a misunderstanding and that it was over but by their facial expressions i knew they were scared and i knew that this was no way in hell the end but just the opposite. Since then its been a constant battle against them. That day a war started and we've been fighting every battle with all our strength. It was until July 25, 2012 that I was fighting strong and proud and certain of who i was. That day, one word changed my life. Guilty. How can one word have that much power on your life? I don't even know but that is a question i will always have. He was accused of things that were no where near him to know but that's life right? Being complicated and confusing.
On July 25, 2012, the day before my birthday was the last day of his trial. That morning before he left was very emotional. He woke up like the way he does my birthday with my mom. Before he left he left my mom and i help him with him suit and tie. When he was ready he turned to me and told that what happened today he loved me and he would be there for me. He said that he believed in me and knew that I could face any obstacle that life put in front me. He reminded me that our family was known for fighting and getting through anything because we are strong and together. He kissed on the forehead and told me that he loved and kissed my mom and my little brother was asleep so he couldn't say goodbye properly but kissed him too. On his way out the door he turned around and said that he will do whatever he could to be here tomorrow and left. I went into my room and listened to music until i stopped crying. We got ready and went to my moms job. We were there for most the day and he called at around 11:30 am to checkin and say it was break. He would always arrive at around 5:30-6:00 pm from his hearings. That day he didn't. Around 6:30 pm my mom runs out of the store and i see my dad's car pull over around the corner. I tell the girls to look after my little brother and i run after her. I get to the corner and the driver's door is open. It wasn't him. My dad wasn't there. It was the lawyers assistant. My heart dropped and i just stood there. My head was dizzy and all i could say was no. I repeated that word several times till i yelled it out loud and they turned saw me. I went inside and shut myself in the room. My mom and dad's assistant ran in after me and tried to calm me down. I didn't want to speak to anyone I just wanted to be alone but she threatened to get my brother and i couldn't let him see me that way so i let in but i pushed her away. She started to get mushy but i backed away and went to the bathroom. My sister was on her way from her house to spend my birthday me. When she got here, we told her and she tried to calm me and tell me that everything was gonna be ok. July 26, 2012 came and i didn't want to do anything. Imagine that? That was my first birthday without my family complete. No one ever knew how hard it had truly affected me. I guess no one will. His sentence date was supposed to be in december but the postponed it and now i dont know when. It feels like this nightmare won't ever end. Ever since July 25 my family has slowly been distancing itself from each other. The unity and the glue was my dad. And i'm afraid that when he comes back our family won't be a family anymore. I talk to few people about my life because anyone who i ever befriended always ended up leaving. Even my own brothers and sisters aren't there for me. They sometimes try to be there but what's years of emotional neglect can't be undone. I have rough relationship with each of my siblings except one of the my older brothers and little brother. My older brother is there but at the same time he's too busy for me to bug him. My little brother is too young to understand anything. Right now, i only have two people who actually know my life, and i'm scared. Because as much as i want to believe that they'll stick around and they've shown it to me multiple times, i've just been used to people always leaving that there are moments i doubt but i come back into sync and realize once again that if they weren't gonna stick they wouldn't listen. I don't wish the pain, sadness, or any feeling that i have on anyone. I don't wish the moments in my life on anyone because as strong and you might say you are, there will always be that one thing that gets you and sometimes you feel caught with no way out. It only takes that one person or people to help you out slowly. My dad is honest man. Whatever they say he did, he didn't do. I know that i'm his daughter and i'm supposed to stick up for him but i was raised by him and he taught me that no matter who was the person being questioned always be on the side of the truth because that is the correct side. I've known him all my life and I know that he will do whatever is in his power to show his innocence and to be with the one important thing that will always remain his number one priority, his family. I love him and i wouldn't ask for a better, tougher, nice, and amazing dad. He has taught me so many things and i'm thankful to be called his daughter. It breaks my heart knowing that my little brother might not be able to cherish and enjoy that father i had but I know that my dad will try at his best to be there. I miss him with all my heart and wish i had him because no one can ever take place or complete a whole that was burned into your heart unless it's that person. He has brought me amazing memories and i plead to God for probably the millionth time to please not let me have to live the next important moments of my life fatherless because all i ever wanted was to have those who care about me and that i love next me and there with me along this journey called life.
djmkt2 djmkt2
13-15, F
Jan 7, 2013