Great Person

My dad passed away July 26th, 2009 at the age of 59 years old. I was only 12. I loved him so much and I didn't even realized how important he was in my life until he was gone. He was such a great man but mostly a great father. He always put his children and his family first. He was the most generous person I've ever known. He had diabetes and was obese. He suffered from lungs problems, too. He was so strong. He was fine, in May/June he went to the hospital for a week or two for a check up with his diabetes but the doctors starved him.Then they saw several things were bad and he stayed longer. My siblings went to see him everyday to the hospital but I went once, at the beginning. Then everything got worse, he fell into coma and I had no idea what was going on, my family wanted to protect me from everything they said... I remember the day they came home to announce that he passed away. I had absolutely no idea he was that sick. It was a shock for me and my world completely changed, I had lost my rock, my dad. After 3 years, I'm still that shocked and just thinking of him makes me cry. I'm lost and I can't tell anybody. I know I have to move on but I can't. I'm also very angry at the hospital and the doctors but nobody knows that... I know it's not their fault but I can't help blaming them... He died because he caught a bacteria there...
I never told that to anyone but, 2 years after he died, I had a dream, where he came home after a journey at the hospital, he was in clutches, it was like nothing happened... I hugged him in that dream, like I never did, and it felt so real... I just miss him. I do feel a bit better now that I have written it, finally...