I Miss My Daddy So Much

  I miss my Daddy sooooo much. I lost him in May 2004. It's been 3 years 3 months. I just cant seem to get over his death. It wasn't expected. I mean we knew he had problems with his heart he had problems for many years and had, had open heart surgery many years ago but seemed in really good health other then at the time of his death he had been to the hospital a few days earlier and they had told him he had pnemoina. The Dr. in the ER had given him meds and sent him home. He seemed to be doing ok until that fateful morning he said he felt worse so I told him let me make you an appointment at your regular dr. He agreed and I did. Had I known he wasn't breathing good I would have gone to him sooner. His dr. appointment was at 1pm and on my way to get him I picked my mom up from her job and when we got to him we found him sitting in the floor next to the couch he was breathing very hard but he was co herent and knew what was going on. He could talk and everything seemed fine other then his breathing was off. He never said he was having any chest pains are anything like that. We called the ambulance and they came and got my Daddy, My Mom rode in the ambulance with him to the hospital. I drove and I had to stop for gas. I was maybe at the most 5 minutes behind the ambulance at getting to the hospital. YES I was rolling. But.... I never thought that day I would loose my Daddy. I thought like we all thought that we would take him to the hospital they would admit him and he would be there a few days, get better and come home. That didn't happen. When I got to the hospital I noticed my mother in the emergency room which was not the norm they usually let her stay in the back with him but they sent her out. I started into the hospital to see why she wasn't in the back with my Daddy when she came out the doors of the emergency room. Still none of us had no idea, my mom, my brother or myself that was gonna be the last time we would see my Daddy alive. My brother saw him when he got outta the back of the ambulance and he was still living and my brother said he was still not breathing right but other then that he was seemingly fine. I asked my mom why she was not in the back with him she said they sent her out to fill out papers to admit him I knew that wasn't right as they never had done that before. I started again for the 2ed time to go into the hospital to find out why my mom wasn't allowed back there with my Daddy and to try to get us back there with him. When out of the doors this pastor came and called for my Daddy's family. He said they were doing all they could for him. I just went off told him I wanted to see my Daddy and I wanted to see him now. He said he would go back in and see what he could do. I had not been at the hospital 10 minutes at that point. That pastor couldn't have done anything more then walk from the parking lot just outside the emergency room doors back into the hospital into the very back of the emergency room when he reappeared and said he was sorry they did all they could MY DADDY WAS GONE!!!! I went blistic. I told that pastor he was a lier it wasn't my Daddy, He had the wrong man, my Daddy was fine when he went in, I wanted to see him now and he flew into the back and never came out till he came out with a Dr. I was standing right at the doors to go back into the emergency room and if the door had flung open before the dr. had come out I was gonna go in and find my Daddy.  The Dr. confirmed it was my Daddy and they did all they could. Apperently he didn't have pnemonia he had congestive heart failure and that is what happened. I lost my Daddy and since that day nothing has ever been the same. I have learned to live on. I don't cry every day anymore... I do however have spells where I will cry every day for weeks and then I am ok for awhile. I think of my Daddy every single day. My Daddy was my Hero, my Bestest Friend in the whole wide world. Nothing has been the same with out him. I dont think anything ever will be the same again. I was and still am a Daddy's Girl. I went with my Daddy every where when I was a kid. After I got married the first time I would call my Daddy and my mom daily and I only lived a half hour from them and I saw them once a week. After my first marriage split up I moved back in with my Parents with my kids I lived with them for a year and then got my own place just up the street in walking distance from them. On weekends I would go over to their house and wash my car with my Daddy and he would wash and clean his car we spent many father/daughter times together. If I had a problem or was upset my Daddy always knew what to say or what to do to make things seem right. Now my whole world has fallen apart and it seems unfixable. I have days that it feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest because I miss him soooo much and I still cry uncontrolably. When people tell me with time it will get better.... I think they have lost their minds it isn't better I have just learned to live with things better so that its not every day that I cry but.... the pain of the day I lost my daddy is still with me and as real as the very day I lost him. I just don't know what else to do.... I miss him soooo much. There is a song called Homesick that mercy me does it means alot to me and is so true if Home is where the heart is then Im out of place Ive never been more homesick then now.


Radarbap040 Radarbap040
41-45, F
8 Responses Aug 8, 2007

Dad naked

I know how it feel. My lost my dad from heart attack and it right front of me. My dad was my bestfriend and still is. Every night i cry because i really miss him.

I miss my dad so much my mom broke up with him he was awesome! I knew I would like him the first day I saw him then the next weekend he took me to Chuckie cheese 5-10 o'clock at night then they broke up and my mom won't tell me why we even had a sleep over at his house,I hadn't seen him since then when I got ready for school I asked her did he still come in her store and she said you don't have to worry about brad anymore honey we broke up! I am still a daddy's country girl from that day on! He was a country man! He even had a farm we got to plant on!,boy do I wish I could still have my dad with me every Sunday I got to go over there! It was a hour drive into Springfeild! I LOV YOU BRAD! AND I WILL ALWAYS HAVE SOMEWHERE DEEP DOWN IN MY HEART WHERE YOU WERE! 😘😘ily brad<br />

I lost my daddy 4 years ago on may 8 , 2008 only 10 years old. I am currently 14 and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about my daddy. I still love him so much and I would do anything to see him again but I can't. I know that now. But my daddy was my best friend and my first love. I always think about my wedding who will walk me down the isle or who will scare away my boyfriends. But I live with knowing every day that my daddy is in heaven. I still own some of his clothes and they still smell a slight bit like him. That's how I stay sane. But I miss my daddy so much...


Hi...I read your heartbreaking story after I googled "I miss my Daddy". My heart goes out to you. I lost my Daddy 3 years ago, on September 9. He waited, weak and on his ready to go, until the day after my birthday to make his trip home. I know the kind words people choose to make us feel better. I know they even mean well. Please know this, your Daddy knows you miss and need him and I believe he is right there, on the other side of the door from this life to the next. Heaven isn't the sky. God named that "the heavens"...not Heaven. I will share my story with you if it helps, but for now, I just want you to know you are not alone. He loved you in life here on earth and he loves you still.

my daday is my here too.<br />
dont think dat he's apart from u .<br />
he is always there in ur heart

I really miss my Daddy, too. I just lost him on the night of May 4 and it was very sudden. I, too, thought he would be in the hospital for a few hours or a few days and then he'd be home. He went into cardiac arrest and they could not save him. They brought him back three times, but they couldn't do it a fourth.