My dad past away years ago. He use to take care of my mom and I. Since he's gone, I have to take care of my mother. Not physically, she is not sick and takes care of herself very well but acts. .. well... like a teenager. She turns to me to help her take every décision, sometimes she takes my advice, other times she does her own way then asks me to fix the situation.

I know I'm the only family she has. I like being close to her. I wish I had someone to turn too when I need help, advice or someone to listen. I tried. Many times. She changes subjects and does not want to see that I have struggles and problèmes too.

Sometimes, like now, I feel selfish and sad. I do not like it being all about me, but gees. .. I need my mom too...
Blanche08 Blanche08
36-40, F
1 Response Aug 18, 2014

Oh blanche .... This story coupe have so easily been written by my own hands....
i am in an almost similar situation....
my father passed a couple of years back ... And for 45 years he did everything for mother....the garden...the diy...the shopping...handling all the financial matters.


everything....
whilst he was ill... I kind of stepped in to help them both out....

fathers carers were useless...
if he wanted the red washing bowl...and the red flannels...the carers would bring the blue (washing up) bowl...and the dishcloth...
they spilt bleach all through the house, from his room to the bathroom...they broke the shower head...and cracked the shower basin...
they stole money...
the list goes on and on.....

when father passed...mother swore that she would never ever have anyone else in the house ..

ever again......

now... She just kind of ... Sits there... And expects me to do everything as father did....
she does not go out ..ever
..
she doesn't do the simplest of tasks...like empty the indoor garbage bin...or the washing up...
i do her laundry...her grocery shopping...walk her dog...everything.... Every day...
as well as run a business...and work an evening job....
and don't forget... IM married...so my family needs me too....
i am constantly tired...
never get enough sleep...
and always dread the telephone ringing ... Just in case its mother ... With another of her demands....

i know exactly what you are going through...

ive tried to get her to do things...
to understand how i feel...
but nothing...she is fixed in her ways...and nothing seems to deter her from her way of life...

if i don't go round one day...there is twice as much to do the next day....

hmmm... !!!

Can i also add.
mother is not ill .. Or old....
she only 71...
and quite fit...
yes ...she has aches


some pains...
but she is quite capable of doing most of what i do for her....
its a case of 'old dog...new tricks"...

Well Mark are situations are quite the same.

My mother does take care of herself though and she is 67.

I love her to pieces.

She got a boyfriend a few years ago. Spent hours on the phone with him each night as they were quite a distance from each other for a few months. Then moved in together in spite of my advice. She sold her house because he told her to. She took care of him, mowed the lawn, washed his clothe, tend to his garden, chicken and rabbits. She seemed to be happy but did not recognized her, always dirty when she is so feminine and loves to be clean with make-up, nails done and everything. He kept her from coming to my place. She always needed to be with him everywhere he went. I warned her about what I saw. She said she was happy so I let it go. It's her life after all. Their not together any more.

She was crushed, kept trying to get him back, making him jealous and so on. She acts so childish at times... well most of the time...

With the 4 kids, it's hard to handle for me. She lashes out at everyone, including me and it hurts. Sometimes I think she does it on purpose to get me to fight with her, but I don't I simply go on with my way. Ah the drama... I don't like drama...

What is there left for us to do dear Mark...?

Blanche xx

All we can do, i suspect...is carry on regardless....do what we can...when we can....and keep on doing those little things that make them smile !!!!