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To My Darling Little Slice Of Heaven

Hello my beautiful.  You and your sister will always be daddy's favourite girls.  Daddy misses you so much.  You are so beautiful and clever and funny and warm hearted.  You remind daddy of the sweet innocent person he used to be and it is a nice reminder.  You are a perfect girl beautiful inside and out.

Daddy is hurting like crazy but he will be strong so he can be here for you when you need him.  I am so sorry that things worked out this way.  Daddy coped with things untill he was almost emotionally crippled, because he did not want this for you.  Please know that daddy would have loved to have you here. I miss the way you were always so delighted to see me and watching your face light up just coz you were back with me, whether it be from a holiday, trip out in the car or a nights sleep.  I feel that same way about you sweetheart.   I hope we can work something out where i can see you, with you being so far away.  Otherwise I will always give you my love and support in phone calls if thats all i can do.

I know your too young to read,  I am going to keep a copy of this dated webpage.  That way if theres ever any doubt I can show you how i felt at this time in my life, which is 3 weeks after you are gone.  You are at the time of this letter 2 &3/4 yrs of age.

Ill always love you and sissy darling
Daddy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
badbinary badbinary 36-40, M 8 Responses Feb 25, 2011

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I'm crying....why are you not my dad..0_0

Because it would just be more pain having you taken away. Im glad you saw this though and please don't cry. It was a while ago now and I still always tell her I love her. :)

:( I'm crying cause my "Dad" ran away when I was born, I thought I was a mistake and now I'm messed up as hell. You sound like a great father, something I've been longing for 17 years of my life. Stay amazing :) your heart is beautiful.

You are not a mistake. Please dont ever think that. Im so sorry for what you have been deprived. You bear your burden gracefully and perhaps I could learn something from you. Bless you :D

Lol hahaha aww thank you so much, and I think men need to learn from you ALOT lol bless you too <3

Maybe we both learnt something. Its nice to have understanding. I read you so wrong and I get you a lot better now. <3 I wish you all the best dear child.

You're so nice lol lots of hugs and bunnies and unicorns and cupcakes and puppies <3 :3

Youre a lovely young lady too. I love unicorns. Thank you so much *hugs*

You love unicorns? You need a noble peace price award like RIGHT NOW 0_0

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What a touching letter to your girls...i hope things have changed for the better

The situation is the same but I think we've all adjusted at least. Thank you kindly.

That's great..I pm'd you..must be a busy man on here..

lol not at all. Ive been absent for most of the last two years =)

Where have you been hiding?

bad stuff happened after this. I needed some alone time.

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May You be in Peace with or without the sweet Slice/s of Yours.
Prayers.

awwww darling tender heart you are an amazing daddy and a great role model hugs and kisses she misses you lots

Thank you so much my sweetheart. You are so sweet and supportive and have appeased my pain greatly. I'm very lucky to have you. I miss her too... *kisses and hugs* Thank you darling.

Reading this story has been very hard for me. You see, I am the mother that has the children 100%. A very different story to urs i'm sure. My children's dad has never had his children for a night, a weekend nor even a day in 11yrs now. I have never stopped him seeing them, as I think its important that they know who he is but he has let them down so many times now that they no longer even want to see him. It breaks my heart. I would take them every weekend to visit and he would either cancel as we were on our way or had been drinking and by the time we got there would be drunk. He then took the road of drugs and went completely off the rails. Seeing him was no longer safe for my kids and they would never want to go and visit. I know he loves them he just cant do it right for them and once you see it affecting the children, it has to stop. My children were toddlers and babies when he left and they are now teens. He would go months even years without phoning them because he was too wrapped up in his own dramas. He's never contributed financially for them and I often see the hurt when we cant afford something because its always only me paying. The biggest hurt though is to hear my 15yr old son say that his father is a loser and he hates him or that he wishes he had a dad that wasn't him. I have never put their father down,{although I have been accused of brainwashing them] he has done this on his own. Kids see and know more than we think they do and they make their own minds up. My advise to you is to keep on calling, don't ever let a week go by where you don't. Stay a part of your daughters life. Send her letters and little tokens so she knows that you care. Don't wait till she's older and try and walk back in because the hurt of not knowing you will already be there. Regular contact even if its by phone will keep the relationship open and when she's old enough she could probably spend holidays with you but only if she knows you and trusts you. Good luck with it all and always be her daddy. Try to never let her down as this is the biggest hurt. You sound like a wonderful dad and you'll always be her dad.Children always only ever have one dad and one mum. Make her proud to have a dad like you.

thank you so much rtfn76. i do speak to her on the phone often but I do wonder sometimes if that is just extending the pain for both of us... I would take custody tomorrow solo if it was offered and the mother knows that. I will always feel guilty about what has happened and in fact I did give the mother another chance about 6 months after this story. I figured that after me standing strong for 6 months she would know I was no longer willing to be her doormat... I was wrong and once again my daughter is gone! So your timing is kind of funny, although she has been gone for nearly 4 months now. She is so excited when I call and its like im santa claus. That really troubles me and makes me wonder if Im just drawing out the pain even longer but I think you are right.. Im also well due for a call to be honest as its been a couple of weeks at least. I'm not giving any more chances to mum. She really took her chance promised it would all be different and crapped on me even harder. She only got the extra chance coz of my daughter and guilt associated with it although I really did try my best to make it work.... I felt so guilty for first couple of months but really I was very passive in the whole situation this time and ive stopped beating myself up over it now. I do still miss my lil angel though. Thank you so much for your lovely and compassionate comment and Im sorry whats happened with your children. Its really so sad for them more than anyone. Thats why I feel guilty I think. The most helpless ones are the biggest victims... Appreciate your kind thoughts. Thank you so much again =)

hey thank you springbok44 - J for your kind supportive words. :) Im so sorry to hear your missing your special little girl :'( Especially after a 3 yr court battle. I would imagine that was a very draining experience both fiscally and emotionally. Not happy with winning they ran you out of town, typical. :(<br />
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I understand your tears mate, this article took a long time to write because the screen kept on going misty while I wrote it and i was unable to discern the words in front of me. I agree that realizing it is a long temporary helps and i hope that day comes sooner, rather than later for you my friend. :(<br />
I keep on going over my daughter telling me to get in the car. Not asking, telling me. Hard to not feel you've let them down....<br />
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I think the previous poster was trying to be helpful in their own way, but i was too hurt to hear it at the time. It was still too fresh. The fact that I read another story in this group where the father was suicidal and the community was quite harsh on him, didnt help either. I guess I was preparing for a war that never came. I added this poor guy as a friend, but he's disappeared off EP. Makes you wonder when he talks of suicide in his story.... :( I very much hope that he's just wandered off EP considering them a bunch of insensitive clods. His story was months old before I joined and found it.<br />
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Fathers do get a raw deal, I totally agree. I respectfully suggest that you do something like the letter above. The reason I did it is because the mother so often poisons the child with their 100% access and turns the father into some uncaring monster. I have saved an offline copy, but whether here or offline, it shows exactly when the letter was written and how you did feel at that time. Makes mums lies dissolve very quickly, was my thought. Not being there for a daughter, is hard for a daughter to forgive. I hope that this will help show it wasnt what I wanted and also that I didnt really get a choice. If I had a choice she'd be here with me. I think if she had a choice she would too. She is so excited when on the phone. She sounds more excited than if im santa claus and that shows me just how much she misses me. Its really bittersweet, coz listening to her frantic joy I know how bad this hurts her to. I am lucky in that the ex is trying to bring her down to me, although really thats just to take more out the house, with seeing my daughter being a nice side effect. :) At times I even think of trying to heal our very bad relationship just so I can have my little girl. Unfortunately I dont think thats going to be possible either.... Sometimes its such a tempting option despite how bad it really would be for me.<br />
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You seem like a very nice emotionally aware man and it breaks my heart that your daughter is missing out on that :( However as you say one day we will all be re-united. You and your girl and me and mine. Im going to add you to my circle and I hope you will add me.<br />
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Much love and respect to you and your little girl. It is not easy for a man to admit hes been moved to tears, but here we both are lol :) I shed a few thinking of your little girl and being reminded of mine. I indeed do empathise with your situation also, I wouldnt wish this on anyone.<br />
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Take care my doting father friend :) Your plight is very much in my thoughts.<br />
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CF.<br />
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To my darling little girl:<br />
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Daddy still misses you like crazy, he always will. You light up my days and the world feels very dark without you. Love you always, my little precious.... xxxx Daddy

its sad for all involved really i guess. my daughter tells me constantly she wants to come home but im sure she means with mum when she says it. (she is only 3) I really wish we could have worked out something better for her. i did another try after this story. things didnt work out so good. I do maintain phone contact and her mum is very helpful in that regard. =) thanks lovetoad. i do always try to let her know shes loved and her mum loves her too. i believe mum does much the same so at least we do that well.

HEy mate,<br />
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I think what you wrote is beautiful, the other comment is utterly useless and I can't for the life of me understand why they even posted it.<br />
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I recently lost my daughter, long story nasty three year Court battle, my ex had a brief, I couldn't afford one. So ended up losing. Ex and the ex father in law made my life hell and run me out of town.<br />
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I/we walk away from these situations with our heads held high knowing we tried as hard as we could. Remember that mate, we tried and we unfortunately don't live in this idealistic world where everything works out, so we have to dust ourselves off and make beat of what we can.<br />
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I don't say these words to try belittle the pain your going thru, maybe just as a way to ease it slightly.<br />
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I read what you put and tears ran down my face, it touched me so much coz it is exactly how I feel, people who have never been here have absolutely no idea of how hard it is.<br />
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I just have to hope that when my daughter is a young adult I will be able to get in touch with my likkle princess and get to know her from then on out. Believe me I play over in my mind countless times what that encounter will be like, and the only way I have kept myself sane is to tell myself I will only be out of my childs life for a relatively short period of her life.<br />
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Fathers get such a raw deal, but more importantly the kids these situations affect get a rawer deal. I hope in years to come you get that chance to recommence your relationship with your child be it ten fifteen twenty years.<br />
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Much respect to you mate from someone who can truly empathize.<br />
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Much love<br />
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J

well 2000KM is along drive destiney24 :) I do understand what you mean though. I wasnt coping with things well for a long time. I held up as well as i could. As I said above i coped for as long as i could. <br />
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It is easy for a female to say things like "no parent that loves there child would allow them to be apart for so long." Women call all the shots on children. Try being a male and saying it and see how far it gets you ;)<br />
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And all the religious "high and mightiers" please dont bother. I was way purer than my old christian girlfriend, The cross around her neck said she could cheat on me and still be a better person than me coz she had faith. The unicorn around my neck says im the pure one and she was rubbish. your mumbo jumbo doesnt cut it with me or my daughter. I respect your right to believe in a pink mystical bolivian gerbil if thats what you want but dont impose it on me. (Also religious peeps who dont go imposing it on others my apologies, I know there are good ones out there who are nice non judgemental people. you guys i actually do respect) I just dont need that crud atm.<br />
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This is a sweet letter to my daughter please dont taint it :) Thanks so much. If you dont want to be a supportive in whats a very difficult time for me. I aint got time for you, its that simple :)