I Miss My Daughters

I separated with my ex again, but this time I told her it was good and that I wanted to seek custody of our daughter. The next week I was served with a protection order alleging that I had threatened to kill my ex. Something I would never do. She also listed my daughter on the protection order. A dirty trick to hamper my child custody litigation.

Because of her claims of domestic violence I have not seen my daughter for over two months now. I saw my daughter almost everyday even when me and my ex would separate and get back together. The court process is taking forever and I feel like I have lost my civil rights.

I am not violent, and have never abused my ex or my child. My ex is the abusive one. She has threatened to kill me, the kids and herself in the past. She already had a daughter when I met her and I raised that daughter as her father since the year of 1. Recently before our final breakup, the child's father was trying to re-enter her life after 7 years of absence, but she still calls me her dad. I havent seen her either for almost as long.

I miss my kids. I realize that what happened between my ex and I, was best for both of us. But now she is punishing me for not marrying her and subjecting to her demands. I told her, give me one year without fighting and breaking up, lets go to counseling, but she kept demanding NOW.

I have PTSD from various head injuries and trauma throughout my life. After my daughters were yanked out of my life I feel like I am mourning the loss of my daughters. I have had to take down their pictures because they trigger bad feelings and usually end up with me on the floor sobbing uncontrollably. I have been sinking deeper and deeper into depression as I wait to be reunited with my daughter. I wish I could just shut down and die, but I don't want to kill myself because my daughters will need me. I have been writing letters to them and drawing and painting for them to help me deal with their loss. This is so painful, I just can't stop crying and focus on any aspect of my life. My work is especially suffering.

How does this father get justice?
saadaziz saadaziz
May 18, 2012