Trying To Reunite With My Daughter13 years ago, my wife took my daughter and step-son away from me. I wanted a divorce and she did not. She overheard me talking with a divorce attorney about rights as a step-father after divorce and called the police claiming I was going to take the kids away. We separated for a weekend to calm things down. Upon my return to work, I was served with a restraining order and was not allowed back to the house so I stayed with my mother until the court date. My, then wife, never showed up and the TRO was dismissed. When I finally returned to he house, it was emptied of everything except a the children's beds, toys and some of their cloths; she took the kids and everything of value in the house.
About a month later I recieved another restraining order claiming that I was a threat to my wife and children and was accused of molesting my dautghter, all false charges and allegations. I only wanted a divorce and was blind-sided by what was now happening.
I fought for over a year and half, paying 10s of thousands of dollars in attorneys fees and losing my job in the process. In the end, the TRO was dismissed, no charges were filed and my incompetent attorney only got me 1 hour of supervised visitation contingent on 1 month notice per visit. I have to add that I live 300 miles (5 hours 1 way) away from my daughter and was now broke, jobless and severely depressed. I was never able to make those visits due to only being able to go on weekdays (almost impossible to find a counselor that works on a weekend). Any counselor I would suggest was denied by my ex-wife; she had final say. It was aU no win situation.
By this time, I was living my mother and began working for her small business to try to make ends meet. I was behind in child support even after getting it lowered due to lack of income. I raised it again when I was able to find work. During all of this, I meet a wonderful women with 3 children. We have been together for over a decade and I have helped raise her children, they know no life without me. I've somewhat gotten my life back together and over years have reached out via the Internet to my daughter.
I have feared what lies my ex-wife had told her and that she would not want anything to do with me because of those lies. I regret that I was never able to visit with my daughter all theses years. This past January, I reconnected with my daughter via the Internet. To make a long story short, she wanted to to see me and never gave up on reuniting. I was happier that I could have ever thought possible. May tears where shed. We communicated secretly for almost a month. It was amazing. Half way through, we started to video chat.. I was able to finally see my little girl and how much she had grown up. :'). I told her that her mother would need to know soon, because she might consider it to be against the final orders of the court.
The secret communication didn't last; her mother found out. A new TRO was issued claiming fear I physical harm to my daughter and my ex-wife. I was able to secure an attorney, finally a good one. I am preparing to go back to court again in 2 days (already went once). I feel very, very, confident that this new TRO will be dismissed and a new final orders for parenting time will be in place. I need to add that I have now had 7 supervised in-person visits with my daughter and know for fact that she wants me in her life; we have both missed out for 13 years.
I look forward to having my child back and being apart of her life. She is angry with me for not trying harder. I wish I would have, but I feared her mother so much because of what she had accused me of doing; I no longer have the fear. I am older and wiser and much more confident in myself as well as having a wonder family supporting me every step of the way (mother, siblings, spouse, step-children).
My daughter is excited to one day meet the rest of her family and begin a new relationship with me. There is only one more roadblock to get past and hopefully it will be smooth sailing into the future. I only hope that her mother doesn't pull anymore crap that she did so many years ago; if she does, I am ready for it this time.
I am sure I left out minor details in the story. This is the first time I have every, publicly told my story.
I'm thankful to have an outlet. I've held this inside for to long.
dbardi 36-40, M 0 Jun 17, 2012