In 2001 I found out I was pregnate again, I was excited but scared, I was working two jobs full  time to take care of my now ex his 2 kids and my 4 kids, I was overwelmed, but I love being pregnate, but right off the bat something didn't feel right, I found a doctor when I wass 4 month along, she stated I couldn't be four months because the baby was too small for that gestation,  they did an ultra sound and told me I was 2 months along I knew better, I found out I was pregnate in oct and it was feb. the doctor was not convinced, they sent me for another ultra sound, a specialist. He stated I had my due dates wrong, and that my baby was well developed, great brain activity, and would probably be mathmatical since one side of her brain was more deveoped. My doctor stated that I had too many responsibilities and was trying to get attention, I didn't feel the baby move like the others and I was losing weight , the doctor stated  that i could lose a few pounds anyway and to let her be the doctor and stop  bugging her. I was low income and she accepted my insurance. I barely showed by the time she said I was almost due. I started having bad pain when I walked or moved, I had to stop working she (the doctor stated they were braxtin hicks and that I was over reacting.) acouple of weeks later I lost 4 pounds in 1 week so they did an emergency c section my daughter weighed 4 pounds my placenta had died from being so far over due, she had six holes in her heart, and she was retarded. due to a genetic mistake, they gave her days to live. she lived 2 and a half months. she died gasping for air and chocking on her own ****.                 her father walked out on me  2 months later stateing I was grieving to hard and told me everything that I love withers and dies because my love is toxic, he took the 2 kids I had been raising away, and I found out he"d been having an affair for the last 6 months, and that she was pregnate. I lost my job my  home I tried to commit suicide, thank god it didn't work, I now am happily married I have 5 grandbabies and five more on the way, I will never stop missing Roselynn, I grieve daily for her still, I put away her pictures, and I moved out of the town we lived in  my hsuband does not understand the grief I still feel, my kid were told by my ex that I killed the baby, because I was tired, and insane, And one of my daughters still beleive him, I'm not allowed to be left alone with her baby,          I didn't kill my baby she died in my arms and I miss her badly.

woodinhouse woodinhouse
41-45, F
6 Responses Mar 22, 2009

My prayers God Bless

Nobody should have to go through something like this... you always expect to outlive your children. I watched my grandson pass away at 9 months old. He was born with a genetic defect that we were unaware of until he was 8 months old. That final month of his life that we learned he was terminal was probably the longest and worse month my daughter ever had to live through. Over 2.5 years later (right now) I am getting teary eyed just thinking about it!<br />
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Anyway....<br />
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{{{ Hugs }}} to you. <br />
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I don't really think there's anything I could say or do that would make it better, although I wish there was!

I feel so humbled by your strength. You have been accused of some horrid things but at least your conscience is clear when your head on the pillow. My mother in law has told many lies about me so now i'm not allowed to see my fiances girls(7 and 10yrs) but i've had to accept i can do nothing about that and just hope somehow the truth comes out.

roselynn,hi<br />
it is always sad to lose a daughter or son.or someone you love very happens to me but dont worry,your daughter is with mine up in the sky looking after us.all the best

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter.<br />
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And doctors are awful people sometimes, especially when we are worried and we know better. Glad to hear you are a survivor.

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