I Miss My Husband,my Life Terribly!!!

I lost my husband for almost 3 years 7 weeks ago..the sad part there was we've been together for only 6 months because i worked abroad and my petition papers got approved late last year so I just got here in Florida last February.I thought this year will be a great year for us because we waited for 2yrs and 5 months to be re-united again but this thing happened...He died in his sleep suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 29 and I was with him.I feel guilty inside because I didn't know that it was his last night with me and to find him without life early morning...I will never forget that day when my whole world start crashing...It was a shocked to us all and it felt like a part of me died too the day he left me...Every minute,every hour,everyday i think of him and i couldn't help myself but cry...Everyone is telling me it will get better in time but i don't know...Sometimes I'm just trying to smile even I'm dying inside...I'm just new here and my family and friends were not here with me now...Everyone expects me to just accept what happened and just move on but it's just easy said than done...I felt like nobody understand what I am going through right now...the pain is unbearable... I lost my best friend,my lover and my better half...if i could only give half of my life so we can live the earth together I will but only God know when we will be called home...My life revolve with my husband and now that he's gone i don't know how to live without him by my side...I'm so lost and devastated.I miss him terribly and my world stop and I'm stuck from that moment he left me.
leng78 leng78
26-30, F
Sep 24, 2012