The Love Of My Life

My Husband passed away Oct 29 2012, I am completely lost, I feel empty , broken, I go through the motions of the day but it's not the same, I have 2 daughters 11, 18 and too see their hearts broken hurts me deeply. My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer sept 14 2009, 2 months after we buried his father from the same disease. I was with my husband for just about 15 yrs, married for 10 , we had just celebrated our 10th anniversary and my 40th bday in sept of this yr, and then a month later he's gone. How do you wrap your brain around that . I did everything with him , now I have so much time on my hands that I don't know what to do with myself. You don't realize how someone impacts your life until their no longer there.The kids seem to be doing better now that they are back in their routines. I am going back to work tomorrow so I hope that helps. I miss him so much. I did buy a journal and I write to him everyday about my day , about the kids, about our dog and the silly things she does. It helps but Its not the same it will never be the same. I should of had more time with him . I just isnt fair. Cancer is an evil disease. I am so glad I found this website I really hope it helps. talk soon thanks for reading.
lee94 lee94
36-40, F
10 Responses Dec 2, 2012

So sorry for your pain, I too have lost my hubby, like you say you don't realise how much a big part of your life they are until they're not there. He used to say to me " what will you do when I'm gone" and I'd say "I can manage perfectly well thank you". Not true I'm hopeless without him, alone and bereft. There is no cure to grief, nothing we can do or say makes it better. Treasure you daughters and remember he too lives in them. Hope they can hear our hearts from heaven,
God bless. Dorothy

I lost my husband six months ago from cancer as well. We too had ten married years and 13 years of bliss together. I do understand. I lost my past, present and future and getting through each day is so hard. Everytime I am alone I cry and talk to him and just want our perfect life back again. If it were not for my children, I wanted to leave to be with him. I too hate cancer and don't understand how my life will ever be back to anything that feels worthwhile. I just had to write back because your words touched me as I sit her looking for answers, I should try to write like you do, maybe it will help. I am at a point where I will try just about anything. I keep hearing the" time makes it better" crap, but it is just more time without him. I have no answers, just sadness for all of us who are left behind. I want a dream, a sign, anything to know if there is really something after we leave this planet/ our body. Wishing we all had our loves back in our life. Be well.

I don't know your belief in God, but from my standpoint and going thru my own loss with my husband and still needing to be there for our 4 children. I know it's so painful, try picking up the bible and just open it. God can and will help. If you let him. I'm not pushing religion, just a way to help.

I lost my Husband Feb.17th 2011, He was laid off from work and made me breakfast in the morning, I left for work and i worked later hours on thursdays, talked to him at 2.08 he called me said he wasnt feeling well he thought he was getting the flu back!!!! and i said o.k. honey get some rest see ya tonite, LUV YA, and he said the same, And when i got home it was about 8.35, i got changed laid on my love seat and Mike was asleep on the couch, WELL THATS WHAT I THOUGHT!!!!! I laid next to him for about 40. minutes on my love seat and he was already gone, and I had no Idea!!!!!THE COMERCIAL ON THE T.V. GOT REALLY BRITE AND WHEN I LOOKED OVER AT HIM, HE JUST DIDNT LOOK RIGHT!!!!! AND THAT WAS THE BEGINNING OF MY END!!!! Sorry everybody tells me time heals and I sayh bull to that, all the people who say that have never been threw this and for me its almost two years, and i feel worse, cause i just miss him so bad, AND I DO NOT BELIEVE I WILL EVER BE ALRIGHT WITHOUT MY BEST FRIEND!!!! AND WONDERFUL HUSBAND, NOW HOW DO YOU EVER GET OVER THIS KIND OF NITEMARE, I KEEP THINKING IM GONNA WAKE UP FROM THIS REALLY REALLY BAD DREAM!!!!!

I lost mine Sept 7, 2012 to a bad car accident and they didnt find him for 3 days. It has been just awful. Im praying for you. Hugs.

I lost mine November 24, 2012. It has been 35 days and I miss him so much. I want to die most of the time. I cannot believe it. He was diagnosed with lung cancer October 7, 2012 and died so quick. He was my best friend, my love, my partner, my songwriter, and half of my soul. I am so devastated. How do I cope with this loss? My kids are grown and I live in an isolated community with no friends. Help me please.

Skyler I am so sorry for your loss of yur husband , it truly is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through, just know this site is here and hopefully will bring some comfort , god bless your in my prayers

Thank you. I made it through Christmas which was a big thing for me.

Hope, I came back to work this week which was really hard , but I need to keep busy , my husband was diagnosed in 2009, it was a long road but he was way too young 44 just doesnt seem fair, I wish you all the best,finding this site hopefully will help , God bless I'll be praying for you too

I, too, lost my husband just 2 days after, Nov. 1. I felt so numb the first few weeks and now am back at work. I have my "moments", but never know when they are going to hit me. He had lung cancer and only lived 5 1/2 months after being diagnosed. We were so not prepared.
He was a tough guy and tried to endure the pain the best he could. My children are grown and they were like his own. I can't imagine what I am to do now. I do rely on God to help me through this and know that he will. I will be praying for you.

My husband died 10/28/12 leaving me with 3 children and a lot of unanswered questions. The police are not telling me anything other than they know what happened and they are trying to put a case together. I have many of the same feelings you have. Everyone says you are strong. I don't want to be. I have always had to hold it together but this time I can't. Life is not the same without him.

Skyler, I am so sorry for your loss, for me its not the same neither, i feel like a big part of me died with him , IT IS THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER HAD TO ENDURE!!! I still cannot believe he is gone,take care I will pray for you, I pray to god everyday asking him please to help me get a little stronger everyday!!!!! GOD BLESS YOU!!!!