So Deployment Finally Has Reached An End!

I don't know how to even describe the whole coming home process! Stressful? Trying to get everything together. Not knowing EXACTLY when they come in so not being able to plan it out down to the minute. Waiting by your phone for the next update! Hearing bad news, that his coming home is delayed or good news that he's a few hours earlier than he expected. Excitement as you pick out the PERFECT outfit... something sexy but able to be worn around his parents without thinking you're a hoe! lol The first time you're alone together and his hands are going everywhere and you get to experience the romance for the first time in a long time. Being close to someone like you haven't been in so long. Waiting two weeks before he can actually come home home after all the classes and tests they have to take to make sure they've come back with some piece of mind. Having to share him with his friends and family after he returns, because they missed him too!

*But I swear nobody missed him like us, the girlfriends, fiances, wives! We're the ones that spend all our time and energy thinking about htem while they are gone.... so why do we have to be patient any more... selfish ... yes! But Do I care... not really just want him fully and entirely so that we can go about our lives like a normal couple before he has to leave again.*

Unfortunately it doesn't always work like our imaginations store up. The coming home after this point is difficult because whether we like to believe it they have went through so many difficult things in the last 12 months or whatever yours may have been. They are not wanting to be controlled or pushed..even in the slightest. They don't want to be told what to do or have any other person in the deciding factor besides themselves. They've been controlled by the army 24/7 for the last year or so. They freak sometimes when having to do so. It's rough having to let them go and do their own thing, but it is ever so important to do that. You must trust your man and have faith in him, and go with the saying, "If you let it go, and it comes back it's yours," because you literally have to let them go for a while until they find themselves. If they continue to be depressed then you have to be supportive and encourage them to seek help... which is hard when all men think they can do it on their own. You have to start the whole dating process all over again because after a year you are still in love with them as a person but not IN LOVE with who they are yet... it's all different feelings. You have to fall in love all over again.

My boyfriend and I new we had to start all over again when he came home, because we had heard this.had to recreate our relationship ...  WE knew this but still ended up taking things like they were which was quite the mistake. We got in a fight and  we took a couple days apart where he went out and partied with his friends. (WENT TO BARS... with hot girls! Yesssssss made me upset and jealous but I had to hold it in because he can leave you if you make too much pull back and you can never take your words back) Fortunately I we were right for each other, and I knew this... I went on with my life for the full week we were apart. I set up dates pretended to move on even though in my heart I was still only his. But in this week he started to realize what I have been living through the last year. Friends ditching you after you've been around a while... Girls taking advantage of you and being jerks and realizing that you're in the dating scene all over again and having to search for that girl... but wait... :)  While doing this you have to work on maintaining your jealousy! You can't try and make him jealous by dancing with guys while he's around and being all over them because this will only make them upset and dislike you more. You have to show them that you are only into them and that you're not ready to move on. I danced with only girls and looked at only girls. I informed him that I had to try and move on with my life and that I was going out on dates easily because I had been asked out on dates while he was gone but had declined them before. This is a point to be honest and open because you only have one true chance at this!

After all this patience he did come back. He gave me a chance for a date. We were planning on going out for dancing but as we were both running late we were going to make it late for the lesson and decided upon doing something else. WE went out for a snowcone and then decided to go bowling... like old times. :) We had a blast and after that we decided to hit up the town and go to different bars. We drank and talked non stop, we danced and flirted and had a blast! It was literally like starting ALL over again. And we both remembered why we were together. We are still not back to where we were when he left... that'll take time and we're trying to take things slower. I didn't give into sex because I felt we needed more bonding before we reached that point. It's important to talk and learn each other all over again.

He's finally on a point where he's falling for me all over again. He is sweet. He does sweet things for me. And I in return try to do the same. I'm in love though, and i've been in love with this guy and anything is worth it just to maintain that relationship because finding someone that you click so well with is difficult to do!

I think that this deployment is slowly ending and things are getting better for now.  I wish the best of luck for all of you who are expecting deployment, going through it currently, or anticipating their arrival soon. I hope that after all the stories you've heard about guys breaking off the relationships and going crazy, that my story can give you a glimpse of hope! I am always here if you need to talk, I understand what it's like and I am sorry that you too have to go through it. :)

littlemissindecisive littlemissindecisive
Aug 12, 2010