How Do I Get Through This Deployment?

First off, I feel like I have to get this off of my chest. My boyfriend is deployed in Afghanistan. This is his second deployment but the first one for me. I couldn't imagine before he left how hard this was going to be for both of us. Like others on this website, we fell for each other hard and fast. I told myself that I didn't want to fall for a guy I barely knew who lived out of state, and who I knew would be leaving for another deployment. But as you can see... I couldn't help myself.... he was very persistent. haha.

He introduced himself as my future husband when we met. I honestly thought... who is this guy?! What kind of a line is that? hahaha. But now I'm totally imagining a life with this man. I love him so much! It actually physically hurts when I can't talk to him. I've actually been counting the days. Currently there are about 200 days left which will hopefully put him back here in the middle of August. My sister believes that I should count moon cycles instead because 200 days sounds like a lifetime. lol

I've never wanted something so much but I know I can be strong and get through this because he's worth it and what other choice do I have? It's crazy when a song comes on and it never bothered you before and you just can't help the tears from falling. I totally feel like a dork for saving things from the time we had together before he left but now I find them comforting. He made a cheesy shirt for me with his name on it that means more to me than just about anything else I own. : ) 

So I wanted to ask you guys... how do you get through the first month and the last month with your sanity? John tells me those are the worst and I'm agreeing so far. I want to be as positive about this as I can and I know this will bring us closer than we ever believed. I still laugh about one pick up line that has ended up changing my life.

Also... is it just me or is it hard to find people at home who know what you're going through? They try to comfort you but really don't have a clue which is why I'm here now.

If anyone wants to share anything or give me some advice, that would be great. Also, I'm thinking about all of you and praying for your men/women too! : )

Melio Melio
22-25, F
5 Responses Jan 29, 2009

I know exactly what your going through and don't have much support, even my best of friends don't understand...... Sometimes I have good weeks where I tell myself I can get through this but these last few days have been so rough. I try to stay busy but that's easier said than done. I would love to connect with others whom experience these same feelings/emotions. Thank u for sharing, knowing I'm not alone is a blessing and unlike many others me and my soldier aren't married cause I do know there are many support services for families and spouses...which catorgry I don't fall under. <br />
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Thanks for letting me share!

I met my man at the start of December and he went to Afghanistan after Christmas.<br />
I am totally new to the army way of life and shell shocked by our separation.<br />
I too, fell for him hard and fast and feel sick to my stomach every day that dawns and I know I won't see him again till June/July. <br />
I have taken advice and have got stuff to do in that time but I just want to physically be able to touch him. He's an old hand at deployments and this is his second Afghan but I don't know how i'm going to cope with limited contact.<br />
I cry a lot of the time, re-read his last texts to me and constantly mope over his pictures.<br />
I don't know 100% how he feels about me and what he wants from our relationship but I know I love him and I feel lke the uncertainty of the next 6 months is going to drive me crazy :-(

i am going threw my last month or so waiting for him to return home from iraq freedom.I think it is easier waiting for the last part then it is saying good bye at first. I know i felt lost when my hubby left and i didnt know what to do with myself. I am a mother and a working mom doing it all by myself but i just keep the both of us as busy as can be..

There are some amazing women in this group going through this insanely difficult experience. There's no handbook or guide to make any of it easier. And trust me we are ALL doing the same things you are to cope, have the same feelings, & asking the same questions... that's why we're all on here, for the kind of support we can't seem to find with friends & family. Try as they might to help, they just don't understand. If you ever need anything just message me. Remember we all have your back & will help you through this complete mind screw, emotional rollercoaster called deployment!

Prayer,prayer and more Prayer. Keep your head held high and stay strong. By staying as busy as you can. Join a club take up lessons do anything and everything to keep yourself as busy as you can and keep yourself from situations you wouldn't want to put yourself in. I will keep you in my prayers.x