I Miss My Dog Soooo Much!!!!

oh god, i can't stop crying, my dog passed away in my arms in my home 2 days ago, she was 9 yrs old.

My dog was a female rottweiller, and she was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I remember when my husband, son and I first saw her, there was only 2 puppies left, one of them was active, jumpy and so hyper, and we thought yes thats the one we want, until it started getting a little too aggresive and started to nip at our feet, well here came roxy who was quite the opposite of her sister, she was so fat and lazy looking, but she came right over to us and just sat on her sister, we all giggled and thought "ok we gotta have her, shes so cute"

Roxy was the nicest dog ever, we took her everywhere we went, she was always ready to play and so full of life, and she was one of those water dogs, who just could not stay out of the water!  the beach was one of her favourite places. Roxy new us so well and i know its crazy but often when we spoke with her it felt as though she could understand everything we were saying. Roxy never bit anyone, she never hurt anyone, she could be approached by a little child, and i never worried because i knew she would never do anything to hurt anyone.

My family and i went through some terrible times, we had some really hard and bad times, but no matter what roxy would get us smiling again.

She never complained and never cried, i don't know how we would have ever gotten through any of our problems without her.

I don't know what happened, but one day, just like that roxy stopped eating. At first we thought it could be worms, so we bought her worm medication, but it didn't help, and problem got worse.

We took her to the vet, who said its probably her food, so try switching it, and we did. Still she wasn't eating.

Three weeks went by and roxy became weaker and weaker, all you could see was her bones, finally the vet took a blood test and discovered she had a problem with her liver and that its cancer.

She told us to that we would have to prepare ourselves for the worst. and instead of letting her go through any more pain we should put her down. God that hit us so hard, I mean how can anyone prepare themselves? After crying for hours, we decided that we couldn't let her suffer. Our appointment was for the next day, so we decided to take her to her favourite place one more time, the beach.  You should have seen her, she was so happy, we let her go and she walked towards the water, but couldn't make it, she was too weak, you could see how much she wanted to go in, but couldn't, she tried but collapsed.  We sat with her awhile, and took some last pictures of her by the water as she sat there, just watching the waves. It was just so sad. We took her home and tried to prepare ourselves for the next day, and roxy's last night with us. About one o'clock in the morning roxy began to breathe so heavy, we came to her and saw her tongue at the side of her mouth, and eyes rolling at the back of her head, she was dying! and you could see how much pain she was in, we couldn't do anything but hold her, we new this was the end. Roxy was fighting for her life, and we saw her pain, my husband held her tight and as we saw her take her last breath, roxy's life slipped away, and just like that she was gone!

She died right in front of our door, she went through so much pain, and it wasn't supposed to be like that. After bringing us so much happiness, and so much love, we had to witness her pain, and couldn't do anything about it to help her. Oh god it hurts so much, i can't sleep, i can't eat, and everywhere i look i see her.

I went out and bought flowers, and i lit a candle and put them in front of the door  along with her water bowl and her favourite treats, where she took her last breath. Everytime i pass the door i see her and remember her pain, and it just kills me.

We will always remember you Roxy, we love you so much, and prey that god has you, and as i close my eyes i picture you at the beach, swimming, playing and digging for rocks.

I miss you so much.

mindynroxy mindynroxy
36-40, F
2 Responses Sep 18, 2009

I share your pain. The same thing happen to My Shaq after bringing him from from the vet (he spent 2 days) I thought he was going to make it (kidney failure) but the vet said he was doing better and I was hoping for the best. I was very excited because when he got home he seem happy to be back in his bed. The next day he was eating and drinking water and it made me so happy but the following morning he woke up gasping for air and I was going to rush him to the vet but thought I had some time. Little did I know that it was his last moments. By the time me and my husband got him in the car he died in my lap...telling him how much I loved him. He was also such a great dog and the guilt of seeing him suffering like that broke my heart in little pieces. Why if he was such a great dog. I have been blaming myself and I also blamed my vet for not telling me that he was almost impossible that he would make it...instead of giving us hope and letting suffer like that. He looked sooo horrible by the time we got to the vet and my pain was so intense that I thought I was going to go crazy. All I could think at night was the vision of seeing dying the way he did. How could his mom do that to him? I decided to cremate him and it did me good because I requested a viewing before they creamated him and he looked soooo beautiful...just like if he were slepping. I kissed him and hugged him and I had a chance to see him the way he was...my most beautiful black lab! It has been 5 days and I still cry every 15 minutes or so and the nights seem the hardest. Now I have him home with me, I know his soul is with God but just having his ashes make me feel still close to him until we see each other again and play with the ball and go swimming together just like we used to.

Oh how your story touched me! It made feel like I was losing my friend all over again! I know the pain you're in & it does get better but it takes time. Could you possibly plant a tree or flower in her honor? <br />
I lost a horse I'd had for 13 or so years. It's been 20 yrs but I still mourn the loss of the best friend I've ever had. I too had to witness her pain & that hurts me so much. I wish I could have taken her pain for her. In memory of her, I had a Tattoo of the symbol of her name put over my heart. <br />
You will get over the pain, give it some time. Where she's at now she's no longer in pain. She's happy, playing etc. You will see her again. Watch for her to visit you in your dreams, to let you know she's ok now. Good luck & I hope things get better for you!