I Miss My Laddie

I am usually a cat person. I had about 8 indoor cats and 20 outdoor cats when I started longing for a dog. I am disabled and needed a quiet, calm dog who is well-behaved. I can't train a dog. I've tried, but I can't raise my voice to a dog or smack it on the butt. Dogs look at you with this sad why did you betray me look when they are punished. So i needed a dog that was already trained. I put a lot of time into looking for the right dog. I told the humane society my situation and they said they'd call if the right dog came in. About four months later they called and said they had a dog I might be interested in. I went down there and sitting in a large cage was a sweet, quiet beagle. I entered the cage and squatted down to make eye contact. The dog lifted up his front paws and put them on my shoulders. I spoke gently to him and he hugged me tighter. I fell in love with Laddie at that moment. I adopted him and we became inseparable. He followed me all over the house. He was gentle with the cats and they got used to him, eventually curling up to him next to the kerosene heater. Everyday I took Laddie out to a state park and let him run around wildly. He loved it. Once in the middle of winter he jumped in the lake and sprang right out, shivering. I towelled him off, wrapped him in an army blanket and took him home. A few months later we moved to a house on a mountain outside of town with two acres of fenced in yard. Laddie was in heaven. He ran and ran and when he jumped from one hill to another he looked like he was flying. He had a big smile on his face when he did this. He used to climb under the covers and lick my feet until he fell asleep with his muzzle on my feet. My ex was very unaffectionate, so having Laddie there to cuddle with and snuggle up to at night was very reassuring and therapeutic for me. My depression eased and I grew more confident as a person, having a dog love me so much. That unconditional love is so amazing. He only barked a bit when someone came to the door, but otherwise was very calm and quiet. I love him so much. Things got really bad and I was driven away from my home. My ex was a violent man and when he told me to leave I hit the road. I only stayed because I don't believe in divorce. I was in it for better or worse. But he set me free. I had very little money and had to live in my car. I tried to make arrangements for a decent place to live where I could bring my cats and Laddie, but nothing panned out. It broke my heart, but I had to leave Laddie behind. It's been 7 years now and I still miss that dog terribly. My ex lost the farm and moved out of state. I don't know what became of Laddie. I hope he found a loving home because he deserves the best. He was my buddy. There will never be another Laddie. Now I'm happily engaged and living up in snow country with our three cats. We hope to get a pug one day soon. Thanks for reading.:)
TolstoiFan TolstoiFan
41-45, F
2 Responses Oct 22, 2011

Very sad story. Must have been very hard to give Laddie up, but you were in survival mode and few of us know what that is like. Glad you made it.

Thank you for sharing. It is a very sad story, for Laddie :( Dogs are so different, and they have different personalities, so it will be not possible to find the same. My family had to leave a dog behind, we could not take her with us. After 15 years I have realized - What have we done? I will not have a dog, because I know with unconditional love we get also responsibilities, but sometimes we would not fulfill them. I would not take such risk again.

I understand how you feel. It is too painful risk going through again.