Paw Prints On The Heart......

  I miss you terribly my sweet baby.  Yes you with the funky fur!   You were never my pet and you always knew that.  You were my furry child and my best friend.  I miss playing ball with you, even if you didn't ever want to stop.  We got through your severe ball fixation just fine, you and I.  I miss all your silly little quirks.  The paw checks, and chewing off all the fur on your paws.  The snapping at invisable flies.  The way your lip curled just like Elvis when I scratched your back!  Oh and the grunting!  Who could ever forget the special grunts of pleasure you gave to all that would scratch you?
   I miss the way you would put your back to me while I was eating.  Your brother was forever begging, but not you.  No sir.  You worked your magic through guilt.  You were always the clever one!  Always knew just how to work it to your advantage.  You knew I was wrapped around your pinky paw toe!
   I miss your funny attitude about barking and protecting.  It always seemed as if you were saying, I'll bark from here, YOU go look and see who it is.  That made me laugh more times than you could imagine.  When you did get up though, LOOK OUT!  If you were getting up, someone was gonna get it! 
   Toward the end though, you didn't play as much and you were slowing down.  I still didn't want to believe what was happening.  The seizures had started.  Just one here and there at first.  Then they started coming closer together, until they were daily. The biggest one came on a Sunday.  You came out of it but had lost the use of your back legs.  YOU!  The great ball chaser of all time!  It was just breaking my heart to see you this way.  I called the vet and took you in the next morning.  She said you were 16, it was in the brain, and I had given you the best life anybody could have.  No!  I was not prepared for this.  I did not have it in me to do this   No way, no how!  Please don't make me do this.  Then you just looked at me, over your shoulder with your big, black and soulful eyes as if to let me know that you knew, and you turned into my arms.
   The vet left the room for a bit to give us some time.  She knew what we had all been through together.  She knew just how special you were to me.  So I just held you and told you over and over again how much I loved you.  I did not want to let you go.
   When she came back into the room, she told me how it would be for you.  Like falling asleep.  No pain.  My grip on you tightened a bit.  I think you knew too.  I looked into your eyes and it happened.  Another big seizure.  Your body stiffened and your eyes rolled back.  She said it was best to do it now, while you were unaware of it happening.  I held you in my arms the whole time.  I felt you relax and slip away from me.  You were gone forever.  
   A few days after your passing the vet called to say your ashes were ready.  I went to pick them up and they were in a small bag with a card and 1 other envelope.  I took your ashes back home and opened the card and put it on the mantle next to your picture.  Then I opened the other envelope.  The vet had taken your paw prints and put them on a piece of card stock and wrote the saying, "Paw prints on the heart remain forever" and she had it matted and framed.  She really did know how very special you were to me.  That was the best gift anyone could have given me.    
   I still miss you each and every day.  I am left with sadness and guilt although in my head I know it was probably for the best.  You would not have liked not being able to use your legs and it very well would have gotten worse.  I am also very grateful for the time we did have together.  You were my furry child and my best friend and you always knew it, didn't you?
                        
weekender1 weekender1
51-55, F
17 Responses Apr 9, 2012

It is Dec 2014 and I just read this. It tore at my heart. Even though it is late, I am sorry for your loss.

My dogs have always been family members, not just dogs. I felt the loss of each one of them as I read your story.

Thanks for your story and Bless you.

What kind of Dog was she (He??) I' ve done this too. Very sad. I cried. (Ever see a Macho Construction Guy Cry??) Took me 5 yrs. before I got Miss. *Sophie*....She is my Friend!!

Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your loss.. They truly are our best friend. Friend of mine brought to my attention, you spell Dog backwards it's GOD...

So sorry for your loss. It is so heart wrenching to have to put a beloved pet down. I had a sweet cat. I loved her very dearly. She got breast cancer. We had the surgery. The vet said he got it all. She lived for 1 1/2 years when the cancer returned. We didn't know until the seizures began. I thought she was yawning. The "yawns" came more frequently and lasted a long time. Eventually I realized it as seizures. They became so hard and frequent I knew it was time to do something. I had a talk with my sweet girl. She knew I loved her and she was ready to be released from this torture and pain. It was the hardest thing to do but it was the right thing to do. She has been gone years now but she lives on in my heart and memories. It still hurts to remember. Guess for those of us who love our furry childern, it always will. I am so very sorry for your very real loss. Bless you. mini

I'm sorry for yours as well. Even with time...it still stays with you.

Wow::: this story ripped me up. I cried my eyes out with every word-. I have had to put 2 of my cats down so it really hit me- even though it was a dog- doesn't matter.
This story truly touched me. Thanks so much for sharing this.

Thank you for reading it. Anybody who has ever had to put a beloved pet down knows what a heart wrenching experience it truly is. Can't imagine having to go through it twice.

Let me tell you a little bit about my self . I am ASIA by nationality, but had most of basic education here in the state,because i was raised here .. I am an independent man who is okay being single but knows how much better life can be when it's shared with someone special. I am lovely-sincere, fun to be around,passionate/sensual and uninhibited with the right woman. I have been told my best qualities are my compassion, sense of humor (find it everywhere and quick to laugh), and warm personality. I am an open-minded person who tries not to judge others by my standards....the kind of person you can count on,dependable, true to my word and a loyal friend to those I love. And, I tend to be "young at heart" appreciating and enjoying life's simple pleasures that come our way everyday. For whatever reason, people seem to be comfortable and quickly at ease in my company. Maybe it's because I'm unpretentious, sensitive to others who I treat with respect and dignity, and down-to-earth with a good sense of humility. I believe in romance, honesty and looking for the best qualities in anyone I get to know, understanding that nobody is perfect...especially me. I've made more than my share of mistakes but I've always tried to learn from them and I constantly strive to be a better person. I've had serious relationship that unfortunately didn't work out but still feel hopeful that someone special will again come into my life. I'm attracted to good man who are well-groomed, in good shape, relatively intelligent and mature, with a sense of humor and a good heart. Someone who chooses to experience life rather than rush through it. I tend to like women who are shorter than i am don't know why, it just feels right,,and I'm [ 6ft2 ] . I consider myself lucky to be in good health, to have a nice home and to be in a career that I enjoy. I have a good life and I'm grateful. Now all I can ask is to hopefully find a great woman to share it with,guess i have nothing to say for now,will tell you more only if you care to ask. 3 0 5 2 9 0 2 8 4 5

This story brought tears to my eyes. Especially your vets kindness.<br />
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My gorgeous old collie was put to sleep last year. I have canvas prints of him everywhere and another rescue dog that, although can never take his place, is very loved and I show him all the places my old dog loved so much. His legacy is the memories and happiness he gave me but also a happy life for my new dog :)

Sorry I seemed to have missed this one somehow...but yes, my vet was a very special lady, and she knew how much this little guy was loved....and he was a resued pet as well. I haven't been able to get another one yet....but I hope someday that I can. I'm very glad for both of us that those memories we have will keep them in our hearts always....and I'm sure your other dog helps you a lot, and has a very good life with you. :)

Thank You for listening to my story, I would also like to mention she was the most special dog in myl life, there was 3 main coincidences that brought us together 1. the right dog & the right time in my life. 2. where I was living at that time. 3.& un-conditional love & staying power.

I had a paw pall for 5 years when I was living in lodgeings in Harrogate England, I miss her so mutch as she was my one and only true love, she was called Freeway irronicaly named as she was abandoned as a puppy by yhe side of the roadside fortunately she found a good home afterwerds, she was everything I ever wanted in a freind(Loyal,Kind,Soft,Addorable,Protective,Freindly,Loveing,&Forgiving, Carering). I miss her so mutch she unfortunately had to be put to sleep 8 years ago as she was 13 & a half years of age and she had cronic Athritis in bouth sets of legs but a least she is not in pain anymore as I broke my heart to see her in soo mutch destress towards the end of her life I still cry at night when I think about her as it's still like there is a emmotinal hole left in my heart, a lot of unsympethetic people would just say move on man why are you still threting about somthing that happend years ago. To them I have only one awnser to say if you have ever experianced loosing some one so close to you you can't move on as life will never be the same again, And they should mind there own busines before judgeing me, I would say that pollitely as I don't like beying worked up about it as I just break down in tears at was too tramatic for me to see her in her last days & although she was not my dog she was a dearly beloved member of my family & I miss her for that I knew her from when she was 7 years old right to the end & although I only got to know her in her final years I still feel like I knew her all my life I use-to cuddle her & kiss her as to me she felt almost human the bond we made was unbreakable & life-long, she use-to wait for me to come home after work she had a game we would play where she would bark & snarl I would point to the portch/consevatory at the front door & say Freeway I'ts me several times she would run to that spot & always Be rolled over on the door mat by the time I got there she would then smile & nudge her self towards me and hint that she wan'ted a good rub down to whitch I could never refuse. I also took her on long walks to the park & back when ever I could or the cornerconveniance store/ Tesco express that was only a block away from where I lived she use to love me soo mutch & she only ever got mad with me once, But that was because I was play fighting with her & maybe took it too far I appolgised & made it up to her afterwerds as I am not a creuel person I did however get a good halloween photo of her in that mood before we made up it's the nearest I would like to come to a hell dog, although she was more like a angel bound for heven if there is realy sutch a place would like to think so as I felt she knew her time on earth was coming to an end & she wanted more then anyting to have some one who cared for her before then she got that & more from myself & her addoptive family by the end she was sorounded by people who loved her & only had her very best intersts at heart. James

I had 2 dogs, Aja & China, mother & daughter. China passed away very suddenly at 9 yrs in May of '11 (infection went septic). Aja passed away from cancer in April of this year, at 14 1/2 yrs. I have their ashes with me in a special place. For almost a year, I had Aja with me, & that helped fill China's void a bit... but I've been so very lonely, & missing them terribly. I'm not married, & don't have children yet, so we were 24/7 companions. The loss feels huge, & I know when I'm ready, not too far off, I will get another dog, from a shelter or rescue group. I miss everything about them - like fur everywhere, & canoodling in bed with them, even having no poop to pick up is saddening. They were amazing, soulful, intelligent girls with a sense of humor to boot ! I met Aja when she was ~7 wks, & the 3 of us together had many wonderful adventures, all manner of ups & downs through the years. I remember meeting people 2 yrs ago, who had just lost a pet, or knew one was dying; what I said to myself inside was 'it's not you or your girls just yet, so don't fear it so... it's not their/my girls' time'. How very surreal to be at this point in such a short period of time. I go from weeping to songs while driving, & getting emotional during movies, or even some commercials, to moments when I sort of feel happy or more balanced, but I know there's something amiss. I've been journalling for a very long time, so that's helping, some. I have plans to write a memoir in their honor, & also get a memorial dog~paw tattoo. My heart goes out to anyone dealing with a pet's death, or the aftermath of the event. Grieving just takes time.

As I read your beautiful eulogy, tears welled up in my eyes. To lose a beloved dog is more painful than I sometimes think I can bare. I too lost my sweet little Gusgus November 8, 2011. He was so special to me and I still cry often because he was such an important part of my life. I know I will never get over my loss, and my heart aches when I think of living the rest of my life without him. If I didn't believe in heaven, I don't know how I could go on. But I know someday we will meet again. I have Gussy's ashes, his paw print on a plaster ornament and on card stock, as well as some locks of his fur. My next endeavor is to get his paw print tattooed on my foot, maybe with a heart in or around it. I'd like to have some of his ashes placed in the tattoo ink too. I hope and pray your heart heals. Your sweet little angel was lucky to have you. God bless you and thanks for sharing your experience.

This story has touched me personally. Back in January, I had to put down one of my dogs, who I had since I was a little girl. She was a really good dog, and was so lovingly. We would always call her a "mammoth" because she was so big and had so much hair on her; she was part husky and was practically shedding all the time! But that wasn't the best part. <br />
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The best was growing up with her for so long. She, along with another dog I had lost about three to four years ago, was always by my side, even during my depression and when I had left a behavioral health center for my depression. She was the best. But she had gotten sick, and it turned into cancer. It was my first time being in a room with one of my pets during the procedure. I held her head and kept her calm while they did it. It broke my heart when she gave one last gasp and slipped away; I nearly let it destroy me, too. But what can I say? When you love a dog, you gotta love 'em.

What an eloquent and tearful story. When my parents' beloved lab mix, Abby, passed away 3 years ago, I fr<x>amed a picture of her and decorated the outside of the fr<x>ame with the caption, "You left pawprints on our heart"

I must say, now that I'm not all boo hooing....your story captured all the love, all the ALL...<br />
You are so dear.....

Thank You! I tried to. He was a very special little guy. I loved all my dogs dearly, but this little guy was just somehow different. A little more "human", or something. ( The vet called him neurotic )

This is so sad and so loving at the same time. They do become a child, the looks they give, their personality, loyalty and all of the love and laughter..who else is always happy to see u, to protect u, to cause mischief that they know they will be in trouble for...yet looking back its funny. I'm glad u had such a wonderful friend, and I can tell that u were an amazing doggie mommy! :)

Thanks! I hope I made a good Mommy. I'd like to think so. I might have gone overboard a bit at times. Who else buys chicken nuggets at the drive-thru for the furry one in the back?! :)

Haha...my uncle used to always buy his german shepard, dillon, an ice cream cone. I remember this as a kid. I thought it was so funny and so cool! That's love!

Very touching story

Thank you very much.

Teardrops on the computer....dang

*Hands you a tissue* I balled the whole time I was writing this. Almost didn't finish.