I Want My Dog Back So Badly

It's hard to read all these sad storys of dogs passing. It's also hard to tell my story, because I actually am the reason my dog is gone. I gave my dog away this August and I have felt horrible beyond words ever since.


Nyla was my beautiful one-year-old white lab mix and I owned her for about 11 months. Although she was a handful from the start (chewing, pulling, jumping, running away, etc.), she was also very loving and 100% heart. I miss her curling up next to me at night. She came into my life at an interesting time. It was the beginning of what was a very rough personal patch in my life. In addition to Nyla, I had a cat and another dog, Pete.

Nyla was given to me by a girl I was in love with, right before she left for Chicago for a six-month school program. She ended up getting pregnant while there and moving in with her new man. Two weeks later my cat fell from a tree and broke his spine, and I was forced to put it to sleep, and it died in my arms at the vet office. A few months later I unjustly lost my job. All these things took a toll on my soul. I was not in my right mind. I decided a move out West for a fresh start was a good idea (which it was). Unfortunately, with Nyla being such a handful, I decided to re-home her before I left. This decision was not made rationally. I know that I gave up on Nyla, and did not give her the chance she deserved. If in my right mind, I WOULD have done anything it took (time, training classes, etc.).

I did find her a good home. I drove eight hours up the road to do so after screening a few other people. She is now in the hands of an older couple, who have some land for her to run around on. The few updates I have received from them tell me she is happy and doing well. It does not help my pain, though, and I wonder how much of it is just "what I want to hear."

I can't help but dwell on the fact that I just threw this beautiful friend away. I wonder if she still misses me and Pete (my other dog). They used to play so well together and have so much fun chasing one another. I miss playing with both of them so much (I still have Pete). I wonder if she will ever forget what I did to her. I wonder if she still stares out the window wondering when we will be coming back for her. I wonder if she really is ok. I have dreams about Nyla quite often, and the pain does not go away. I cannot forgive myself.

Sometimes I ponder writing and asking for her back. But I know they are probably in love with her as much as I am and would be unwilling to do so. Other times I ponder driving back and taking her when no one is looking. I know that's a horribly wrong thing to do, on a number of levels.

I'm just so sad. I miss Nyla terribly. I let her down.

QuietWill QuietWill
41-45, M
12 Responses Nov 6, 2008

My father is a military man and we move around once every fee years. We actually found three dogs being thrown out by their current owner as puppies and my dad managed to get them. He brought them home and it was the best damn thing to happen to us. They were so loving and caring and so fun to be around. When it was time to leave, my father refused to bring the dogs to our next country because it was too expensive and it was time to say goodbye. We gave it to a good family, and I'm happy for them, but I'm also heartbroken. Just woke up today having a dream about finally seeing my dogs again. We got a cat in this new place we are living, and now that I'll be an adult when it's time to move again, I'll make sure she isn't given away. She'll stay and grow with me. An experience I wish I could have given my dogs.


Don't think you let her down, you didn't. You made sure she'd get a good life.

And I agree with the person who said to try asking for her back. Or, at least staying in contact with her new owners so you can feel close to her. You never know.

Please don't feel badly.

My advice is to ask for her back. You just never know. The people who have her may be having a difficult time with her and may try to find her another home. It happens more often than you know. If they still want her, maybe you could ask them if you can at least visit her or let them know you are available if they ever decide they cannot take care of her anymore.

I let my beautiful shih tzu go to someone I used to work with because for very sad reasons I found my self out of a permanent job, and in temp working, working long hours and 6 days per week. I felt as if my little girl was being left far too much so I deceided to do what I thought was best for her and let her go to this lady. Now I am unsure as to whether she still has her. She dotes on her other dogs but refuses to let me see my dog even for a few minutes just so I can see she is happy, she won't send pics or anything. I know she has been to the vets because she has overwalked her, she only has little legs. What can I do, I desperately want her back or at the very least to know she is happy. The resistence to let me see anything of her is heartbreakinhg. Can anyone help ?

Hello-<br />
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Well, I need some advice on my situation. I hope someone can give me some input. All replies are welcome. I bought a shih poo. Her name is, well we will call her coco. I brought her home at 2months. She was so scared to come out of the crate that night. Leaving her mom and dad and her brothers and sisters leaving day by day. I finally got her to come out we played, she took her time observing her new home she relaxed right up under me. As time went on, I taught Coco to potty and poop outside, walk down the stairs, fetch the ball and the challenging one of all, sleep in her crate all night without crying. That was work 👍. Now at 3 months, as I worked 8 hours, I felt she was lonely at home without me. I came home walked her we played until 10:30 or 11 and then we went night night. One Saturday after work I went to get a hair cut and I was talking to my stylist, untold her it was getting a little rough and I may sale her. The stylist then told me another stylist was interested in buying a dog or a puppy they were looking. So, we were talking the lady asked how much, I gave a price and within three hours my baby was gone. I cried that day. Coco was very confused and was really looking at me like what is going on. I picked her up, cried told her I love her and that I thought I was doing the best thing. It's been a week today and I cannot get over it. I'm sad and depressed. I did not have a chance to really think about what I was doing. I'm going to see her tomorrow and i still have the money I am going to ask for her back. Am I wrong? It was the worse mistake I made. I cannot stop thinking about my baby. What was i thinking? Will she remember me? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks!

I though this was only my case, but as I read all these lines, I am glad to be not the only stupid that has done such a stupidity. Did anyone find the way to get it back? I am preparing a speech to se if I can convice the new family to give it back to me. thanks for your ideas and support. LR

Maybe I will sound awkward, but I think you are lucky. I spent 7 years with my dog, brought up a whole family while he was with me. I traveled to many countries and I always took him wherever I went. Finally I moved to settle with my kids in a new country where he disappeared 2 days after we reached. It has been now 5 months and 10 days that he is lost and I would give anything if someone can just tell me if he is alive or dead or with a good or bad family. It still hurts like the first day I lost him and I don't think I will ever feel better. Everynight, I search the internet with the hope to find him in a shelter, lost and found or even for sale and then I cry myself to sleep. My kids ask about him everyday and they even call him when we are on the streets or when they see a dog that looks like him. I also miss him curling up beside me everynight and I wonder whether he is on the street, dead or in good hands. At least you had your chance to screen people and find him a good home regardless of whether it was a right decision, I never even got the chance to hold him and thank him for the lovely years we spent together. My advice to you is move on and try not to look back, give all the love you can for your other dog, while keeping in mind that Nyla is in good hands and happy and making an elderly couple happy.

i wish i can say it gets better but i can't...nothing even remotely close to getting better...my Samson has been missing almost 2 and a half years...same as you, he disappeared in a strange place and we still look for him everywhere...stupid woman got my hopes up the other day when she told my mom that she's seen my dog (only going on a description mom gave her...she's never seen him even in a picture) so once again i'm driving by the neighborhood she's in which actually happens to be very close to where he went missing...anyway, 2 and a half years later, i want my &amp;^%$# dog back STILL! i see idiots that have dogs get out and picked up by AC but they repeatedly get them back even tho they don't take care of them but mine is gone forever? i miss him so much...

We gave our German Shepherd to a new family almost a year ago and to this day we regret it. He should have been a working dog, but was sold to us as a family pet. His energy was never ending and he was destructive. I was so stressed with him and the kids and other dogs that I decided he had to go. I can't believe I was in my right mind. I regret that choice so much. The present owner, whom I like, has toyed with us a few times about giving him back due to his behavior, but she has yet to actually do it. I so wish she would. If I had more money I would offer it to her to just get him back. <br />
I guess these decisions to rehome our pets are ones that can haunt us. I hope it's something I never have to do again.<br />
We miss you Bear!!!

I know how you feel also, Today I gave my dog to a rescue. When I got him he was scared, shy, quiet and walked with his head down. As soon as i brought him home he jumped on my bed and was my shadow from then on. He became outgoing, trusting, playful and was so loving. I became sick the more time I spent around Skyler and I was on 3 different types of medication just to be around him. My allergies started to really take a toll on me so I was forced to turn him in. I miss him so much, we had some great times together and I love him and wish I could go pick him up right now. He woke me up in the morning and ran to me when I came home from work. I regret giving him away, ive been crying the last couple days non-stop, I would rather deal with the allergies and have him here then be alone like now and not know that he's okay or happy =(

You would probably feel much better if you could find out about his adoption process. Get as much info as you can. Let them know you are very concerned for his welfare and would like to be contacted on his status. He may be very adoptable and go to a loving person or family right away. You can't go on crying everyday. It's understandable that you miss him terribly. If you feel you absolutely can't live without him and go back to get him, perhaps you could take shots to help with the allergies. Just a thought. Wish you the best of luck.

When my wife would go to school, she would sit on the floor or if I took her to bed she was face the hallway until my wife came home. When my wife was away for a while, she didn't act the same and would again sit and wait.<br />
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So, I think your dog (might not miss you in the sense "miss in the here") but I think your dog missed you and if saw your and her brother/sister again would remember. I think animals are a lot smarter that humans give them credit.<br />
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You ought to rekindle a friendship with the owners and see if you could maybe see them once or twice a year (bring the other dog along, a few treats, and a camera for memories). <br />
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If you don't ask you might regret it (always).

I can totally understand you...<br />
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I feel really bad as I just 3 days ago gave back my dog, Skye to the dog and cat home. I had him for around 7 weeks and he was a handfull from the start. However, I saw some progress made during that time (ie: housetrained him, became more obedient,etc), but was not going extremely well with my other two older dogs and could not trust him alone with them in the flat. Also when I took all three out for their walkies (5 times daily).. he used to try to attack one of my other dogs. I feel that through time, I could sort that out. I was not in the right mindset and will NEVER EVER FORGET MYSELF. I know my two dogs are happier now, without him here and I have less to worry, but I believe that I should give him a good chance instead of abandoning him in the shelter. HOW AWFUL AM I?<br />
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You did not abandon your Nyla to a shelter, you took her to another family. That is different....<br />
How sad I feel about what I did, I cannot describe. If I knew, I would have NEVER even thought about it.....

You MUST forgive yourself for this. Dogs, while we love them, are not people. They do not feel guilt, they do not "miss" people, and the best part about dogs is that they do not feel malice. They are 100% in the present at all times. Nyla is happy in her new home. She has food, water, a place to play, and people who will keep her safe and healthy. Nyla feels none of the feelings you describe, so you can't continue to torture yourself.

You are not awful; you were just trying to do what was best. Don't keep torturing yourself. Hopefully you took Nyla to a no kill shelter. In any case, you would probably feel better if you followed up on her adoption; if so, get all the info you can. If she has not been adopted and you absolutely feel that you cannot live with your decision, by all means go back and get her. If it doesn't work out this time, try to find her a good home (don't advertise "free to good home" either) or take her to a no kill rescue shelter. Explain to them that she will need some training. It's good that you are so compassionate. You're a good person.