My baby girl, Ollie, passed away two days ago. Being forced to say goodbye to your best friend and family member of 13 years is heartbreaking. I know it is not realistic in the slightest, but I always wished for her to live as long as I did. I never wanted to be without her. She was one hell of a dog and friend. She stuck by my side through all the worst times in my life. She was always there to give me comfort and lick away the tears I cried. She protected me whenever my drunken father attempted to come at me or my mother. She fought off a much larger dog that tried to attack me and came out victorious and without a scratch. She was the toughest, most loving, loyal and full of life little being that I have ever had the joy of knowing.

I remember the first day she came into my life. I was almost nine years old and my father had finally agreed to let me get a canine companion. There was an advertisement in the newspaper the next day about a breeder who had a few puppies she wished to rehome. I wanted my new friend immediately so I asked my mother if we could drive across town and get a puppy as soon as possible. The next day we arrived at the woman's home and she had two puppies left. My mother thought the poodle puppy was precious and was sold on getting her, and so was I. But then, as I situated myself on the floor to play with the poodle pup, this tiny little mop of fur crawls into my lap and rolls over on her back for me to pet her belly. She was a chihuahua mix with long hair and the cutest face I had ever seen. I noticed the woman staring at us oddly, so I asked her what was wrong and she said, "she hasn't come out of the carrier for anyone, let alone let anyone touch her." I fell in love instantly. She had chosen me, and I had chosen her. There was no leaving that ball of fur behind.

Almost every night since she's been a part of the family I've fallen asleep petting her belly. I don't know how I'll fall asleep now without her. Coming home from wherever won't be the same without her at the door to greet me. Car rides won't be the same without her looking back at me from the passenger seat with that dopey look on her face. Whenever someone knocks on the door I'll be expecting to hear her bark. She won't be here to lick my tears that I cry from this point on. Her favorite toy will just be sitting there, waiting to be thrown. And there will moments where I forget that she's physically gone and I'll search the house for her wondering where she is until I snap back to reality. I'll always tear up a little when I watch movies with a dog in it. I hope wherever she is now she's happy and free. I hope she's chasing birds and running through grassy fields and laying out in the sun like she always loved to do. I'll see you again one day, baby girl. You'll be by my side in spirit and forever with me in my heart. I love you always, Ollie. Rest in peace.

By the way, I don't care if anyone out there who reads this thinks me to be dramatic or weird or whatever else. And for those of you who may read this and have experienced the loss of a beloved fur friend, I am sorry for your loss.
poisonIV poisonIV
22-25, F
5 Responses Nov 14, 2015

I know how you feel. You'll never get completely over the passing of your pup, I believe you'll see her again one day. I lost my friend of 11 years and just recently got a new puppy. This puppy does a lot of the funny, crazy stuff my first dog did. I think he's watching over the new puppy. I have pictures of my first dog on my laptop screen and sometimes I can't help but cry when I look at them. Sorry for your loss. And you are not dramatic or weird; only dog lovers who experience what you did can understand.

I'm so sorry for your loss! I lost my dog too. Almost 4 months ago he passed away in my moms arms. I still think about him everyday... Something that helps me to not cry in front of everyone is crying a lot when you're alone. Crying in the shower is awesome! I'm here for you if you need

You lost a family member. Plain and simple. It is extremely hard. I've lost several and it still hurts. My condolences and prayers. It does get better but never forget her.

So sorry for your loss. Losing any family member, even one with 4 legs; is painful. Wishing you peace.

Sorry for your loss. I know how you feel, my dog slept next to my bed and for a few nights I couldn't stand the quiet and missed her sticking her nose in my face when I woke up. Sometimes when I walk the other dogs I miss her and even now I am sad. They can die but they stay in our hearts and minds and we never stop missing them.